ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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It's sad but common that parents will screw their children out of things just because it's screwing you.
Since you have the better part of a year, why not go ahead and send a request in the mail. You have three weekends. She can't have all three. Tell her to choose the weekend that is best for her. You get what you want, she thinks she has some control.
Of course, you have another out if that doesn't work, which is Spring Break. So, if BM is being a PITA and you can't get around it, then plan for Spring Break.
Oh and sure, I've had thoughts of strangling our BM from time to time, but jail isn't a place I'd had in mind for 10-20.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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This particular cruise only goes out of the port near our house for 3 weekends in June. Then, we have to still plan the summer month for the other 2 kids. Also, hurricane season starts June and gets worse through the summer so the chances of that increase as well.
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Not true. True hurricane season runs about early August through mid October.
I understand your frustration, been there, done that, got the teeshirt. But if it's not your court-ordered parenting time, find a time to take her on a graduation cruise that falls on your parenting time.
Not sure why you can't take the cruise when you have all of the kids at the same time. Can you explain that?
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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Is summer the only time you can go? What about in August after the other 2 kids go back home and SD is already 18? Or during christmas break? Or the following spring break? It can still be a graduation present even if it doesn't immediately follow graduation.
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"True hurricane season"
I'll pass on any hurricane season, "true" or "false", and wouldn't purposely plan a cruise during that time in an area where hurricanes are likely to hit, a year ahead of time.
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kampac96
addict
Reged: 04/05/08
Posts: 474
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Official hurricane season IS Jun 1-Nov 30, we follow it every year, but yes the most of them occur in Aug and Sept. We want to take only Sd on this trip as we will do for each SS when they graduate. A special trip just for the one child. We do not have court ordered parenting time in the summer, it is just 'agreed upon' time, and she is now wanting to be difficult. Worst case, we will try to take SD during Spring break visit but then we have to find family to watch her brothers during that time, plus we cannot find a cruise that fits our pick up and drop off time and would have to do something else. I think DH is going to attempt to reason with her for one of those june weekends. Attempt is the right word!!
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MTmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: MT
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It makes no sense why you can't wait. She will only graduate once..
Then she will turn 18 in July.. what BM wants after that is irrelevant. So BM doesn't want to bring her to you in July or August.. big deal! Send her gas money to drive herself to you.. or fly her out of her town to meet you at the port.
You haven't even booked the trip yet.. so plan it for a month or 2 later and what the BM wants is irrelevant.
I "wanted" to do lots of things as a teen too.. but my mom/dad were made sure not to make me choose between 2 memorable opportunities at the same time!! You are enticing
SD w/ a cruise over final high school memories.. unfair position to put anyone IMHO.
Just pick a different weekend. You're making a mountain out of this.. and it sure as heck wouldn't be the hill I'd choose to die on.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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I'll pass on any hurricane season, "true" or "false", and wouldn't purposely plan a cruise during that time in an area where hurricanes are likely to hit, a year ahead of time.
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You are more likely to hit winter/spring storms during those months than you are a hurricane during the summer months. You odds for good weather a no worse during the summer than any other month (skipping mid August to late Sept.)
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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nrvouswrk
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/13/06
Posts: 2362
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I can understand how you feel. My husband and I have promised my son for 4 years that we would take him to Rome for HS graduation. He will turn 18 the August after he graduates (2009). It just isn't worth the grief of dealing with the ex, so instead of going in June, we will take our trip the following December. Sure it is 6 months past graduation, but at least I won't have to get any signed documents from the ex giving his permission.
You might want to consider waiting to take the graduation trip after the child is 18. Much less grief all around.
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kampac96
addict
Reged: 04/05/08
Posts: 474
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To all who say it wont matter once she turns 18, I still lived home at 18 and constantly heard "as long as you live in my house I dont care how old you are, you follow my rules' - so what is she supposed to do then? And someone said we are the ones being difficult since BM wants to make her party that weekend - well the kid lives there so she can make it any weekend but the cruises are scheduled events that occur only so often at OUR port to OUR destination of choice, so how much latitude do we have here? Yes we can wait til she is TWENTY ONE and take her but by then she will be out of college!! She really wants to go and for the person who said we are enticing her with a cruise - we did not tell her our plans as we knew BM would rain on them. So bottom line is we may have to wait, who knows, but once she is in college, we not only have to go around her classes but also when each of us can take off of work, which doesnt always work out to be the same time. I spent a week looking up perfect dates and all just for BM to decide she is having a party for SD that weekend even though SD said she doesnt want it til the END of the summer! It IS BM BEING DIFFICULT!
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MTmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: MT
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Every graduate I have ever known who has had a graduation party has had it either the day of or the weekend following graduation.
Maybe that's not the custom where you live... but to me it's pretty common sense that would be the weekend for her party.
You have ALL summer to plan a trip. BM has plans for SD ONE weekend. SD doesn't want to wait until the "end" .. you still have HALF the summer in between to choose from.
AND you said yourself that there are 3 available weekends in June.. 2 of which are neither graduation weekend OR the "end" of summer... seems to me either of those would work just fine.
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