javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3153
Loc: SC
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You can get them now and save yourself the hassle of trying to get them later, or you can save yourself the hassle now and get em later.
In any case, I don't know how helpful they will be unless you expect they will establish a pattern of behavior. If you get to the point of going to court though, you'll need something more specific and direct to effect a change.
Plus, consider that the defense response will be that if you knew of such problems way back when, why didn't you raise concerns at that time?
I personally would get the reports and file em, but just be aware their usefulness may be nil.
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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.
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jil_stevens
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/31/06
Posts: 3893
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Well, the response to the defense would be easy...at the time it didn't seem to be affecting the children in any way, and such you didn't want to do anything at that time to interfere with their relationship. And then explain how now the situation is different and does affect the children.
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BB1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 8051
Loc: MD
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If you get along well with your ex, ask him about them, but let him know it's out of concern for your child. No child should have to be witness to any acts of domestic violence.
Yes, I would order them. The DV between them is not your business but if your son is being subjected to it, then it is. My ex's last wife was very violent. It was court ordered for her not to be around my daughter.
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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I would order them in a heartbeat if I suspected something going on in a household where my child lived part of the time.
Their marriage IS your business when it directly effects YOUR child. It's a matter of public record. I'd go for it.
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MaritimeGuy
addict
Reged: 04/15/08
Posts: 532
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If it didn't involve your child I don't know how you would be able to use it in any court matter involving your child. While it may satisfy your personal curiousity I don't think it will have any bearing on a custody or child support matter. I'm no lawyer though, maybe your family court lawyer would advise you differently.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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That's the point. It is NOT directly affecting THEIR child. When or IF it ever does, the records are public record.. but as someone else mentioned they're probably completely irrelevant to anything regarding the child since, as noted, the incidents in question don't involve the child.
You ran a risk, when one does this sort of thing, of coming across looking like a control freak/whack job solely looking to punish one's ex.
It's public record, MTMom is very well connected in the town. I'm sure she'd have them in 5 minutes IF IF IF she ever needed them.
To get them now is totally overkill, intrusive on her ex's marriage, and just not necessary.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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How is it intrusive? It's public record. If she wants to look at them for her own reasons, so be it.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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b/c if it weren't for the fact that they have a chlid who happens to be there when NOTHING is happening, she wouldn't even know.. and certainly wouldn't care. To get the records SOLELY for the purpose of curiosity/potential future use against the ex, would seem to be intrusive.. not necessarily legally, but certainly morally. Why not just park a car outside his house and wait and watch?
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BB1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/26/05
Posts: 8051
Loc: MD
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Replying in general:
My ex had an incident with his last wife that occurred when my child was not there. Family Services felt there was a risk based on patterns of abuse proven by police records.
I wonder if the original poster knows the dates of the dv. Maybe the child was there? The police records will confirm that.
My thought process is kinda like, well, a child sex offender may not offend while a certain child is there, does that mean the child should be around that person just because he/she wasn't there at the time? Or a drug dealer deals drugs while the child isn't there, should child be able to go back in hopes the person won't deal in the kid's presence? To me, DV involving the police is criminal activity and children should not be subjected to DV or *any* criminal activity or people who commit such acts. However, I think the poster, since on good terms with her ex, needs to talk to the dad about it because police records don't tell the whole story.
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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7783
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Based solely on your situation, I would say no, you do not NEED the copies. You can get them later if you need them. Public record today is public record tomorrow.
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