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Runswithscissors
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: Spring]
      #419045 - 06/24/08 11:13 PM

Oh good god.... I swear... If she does anything she's bad... if she does nothing she's bad... she can't sh*t correctly with most of you.

Let the father handle it, which I am sure is what she is going to do.


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Runswithscissors
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: cincsu]
      #419046 - 06/24/08 11:14 PM

Good answer, but I am sure most won't like that either. It's getting effin ridiculous.

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Debi
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: cincsu]
      #419049 - 06/24/08 11:22 PM

Cinsu, you need to get a grip before you work yourself into premature labor over a stupid annonymous message board.

I don't know, maybe you're sitting back laughing over everything that's going back and forth. That would be good because if you are really feeling the anger and venom you're portraying the past few days you are going to raise your blood pressure through the roof.

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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.


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cincsu
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: Debi]
      #419052 - 06/24/08 11:29 PM

i am debi....i don't know anyone here. i do think it is funny how i'm wrong for doing one thing so i do the opposite, and i'm still wrong....

i've just not engaged much at work this week because friday i'm leaving for puerto vallarta and guadalajara for 10 days! so i need something to pass the time.

--------------------
wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453


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Spring
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: cincsu]
      #419054 - 06/24/08 11:33 PM

"i am debi....i don't know anyone here. i do think it is funny how i'm wrong for doing one thing so i do the opposite, and i'm still wrong...."


Well, cinsu, if you haven't already figured it out...that's the very definition of being a "Stepmom". That's why stepmom's say its the only job tougher than just being a parent.

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Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.


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cincsu
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: Spring]
      #419055 - 06/24/08 11:36 PM

that will be great then spring....if raising reece is easier than raising lalito i'll be in heaven.....

actually working with him has been the easiest part of all of it - he's such a smart kid and very loving, a great listener.

actually, the most dissenting figures in the whole thing are BM and this message board! believe it or not...

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wife of 1, mother of 2, stepmother of .3475902453


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BB1
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: cincsu]
      #419084 - 06/25/08 06:27 AM

I think you handled it well. Maybe to take it a step further, next time when he's on with his mom, you can just step out of the room so he can't see you. Give him a heads up, when you talk to your mommy, I am going to step out but if you need anything, come get me. My kids would have been able to comprehend that at 5.

As for the lying??? Well, it is a lie but I think he did something he had to do to keep his mother off of his 5 year old butt. Even at 5, if your are getting run over a grater mentally by your mom, you're going to do whatever it takes to make sure she's happy, and her screaming and swearing certainly isn't portraying happiness. I think his lie, although not right, was not ill intended. Just like if an adult had to steal food to feed his family...not right but not with ill intentions.

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It's a dog-eat-dog world, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.


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ssmom79
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: BB1]
      #419097 - 06/25/08 08:07 AM

"I think you handled it well. Maybe to take it a step further, next time when he's on with his mom, you can just step out of the room so he can't see you. Give him a heads up, when you talk to your mommy, I am going to step out but if you need anything, come get me. My kids would have been able to comprehend that at 5."
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

I agree. I'm sure your SS will be more relaxed when he talks to his Mom after a few more smooth phone calls.

Cin, it's really not about being a silent stepmom (IMO) it's about learning to pick your battles. Some battles are worth it, others are not. But I might pick a battle you would not, and vice versa. Nothing wrong with doing what works in your household.

Unfortunately, because of your past postings, it's probabaly hard for some forum members to NOT read into your post.

And honestly, some advice doesn't work across the board. Some advice might work in situation A but not in situation B. So when someone says butt out of one situation, it doesn't mean be a "silent stepmom" it just means they wouldn't have picked that battle in their life.


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1966Gal
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: cincsu]
      #419103 - 06/25/08 08:25 AM

It's so sad that the boy doesn't feel comfortable talking to his mom when you are around. I don't think it lied "to her", I think he lied "for you." Because one time when he was talking to his mom, you grabbed the phone out of his hand and had "words" with her. I'm sure he's willing to do ANYTHING to avoid having that happen between two women he loves. How can a 5 yo not view that as his fault. So, I'm sure he wanted to get off the phone as quickly as possible, in any way necessary, to avoid upsetting you and his mom.

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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.


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matart1
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Re: phone call update - i stayed out of it [Re: Miranda]
      #419323 - 06/25/08 01:25 PM

are these people for real....

if you are on my phone in my house I am not going to leave my room or run out of my house just so someone can use the phone.....how retarded.
if someone has something to hide then they do it on their own terms - a 5 yr old is not privy to that much privacy.
visitation shouldn't be hindered by meddling parents and that goes both ways for the clarification stunted. but Cin sitting in her room should not and does not have to leave just because someone is on the phone.

what kind of phone call is a 5 yr old receiving that is so personal or detrimental to privacy..??

next people will be saying when they buy M&M's that you don't have the right to know about it if it's in the house...

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Life is a long lesson in humility.


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