preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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What does dragging an adoption and an abortion into it have to do with anything whatsoever? Totally irrelevant and said solely to hurt. I'm a-ok with my decisions in those regards, but nice try.
No, I haven't been ordered to pay child support. My ex was blackmailed into paying child support when they had basically 50/50 and undid a waiver solely b/c of my existence in his life.
I wrote the checks. I worried where the money was coming from for the 50% of our marriage that my ex was unemployed entirely.
I got the "mail" with the itemized bills. Addressed.. TO ME. Not to my ex. To me. She knew damn good and well "he" wasn't paying it, the money wasn't coming from him, it was coming from ME.
So, I may not have been the one with the name on the docket, sure as heck felt like I was the one ordered to pay it since I was the one paying it.
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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Custody should never be used as a tool for money and that is exactly what she proposed to her Ex in order to make a deal before she got to court with CSE. (IN which she truly doesn't even have to go. CSE handles the $$ portion without you
------------->I disagree.... my ex agreed to give me FULL custody if I waived CS... and I said DONE DEAL! Our custody was done on CS issues... he didn't want to have to pay me a dime in CS.... and I didn't hesitate.. cause my situation wasn't about the $$ but about having our daughter home...... This man (JL's ex) is NOT taking his visitation like it's ordered... what she has offered is what he is taking right now..... She can't make him parent... just like I couldn't make my ex parent.... My ex sold his daughter on his own and I gladly accepted. Who's to say that JL's son is going to be hurt by daddy not being there 24 * 7, he's not now... so what's the problem?
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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but you didn't "have" to pay... if that check didn't go out... your ass wasn't in the sling for it... again... YOU HAVE NFC.. you have not been in those shoes.... period... you can say you have and in your own little 6 inch universe "think" you've been there... but you haven't.. period.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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Nooo, she has previously said she'd gladly waive child support for him to walk away entirely. That's different. Entirely different.
And in the other thread, you stated (as you stated months ago) that you'll likely take him to court (after you "wait the year) for $1,000 a month. Ironically, the same amount you were paying to him.
And yes, I know I know.. it's to replace the college fund. Irrelevant... You're labeling it child support, as the $135 a month is currently labeled in your order. You'd be looking for "child support". So you merely temporarily waived it in order to get what you wanted. Funny tactic.. that's exactly what ex's first wife did. Except she got a house out of the deal. THen once she'd gotten what she wanted and waited sufficient time.. she changed the rules, just like you're proposing to do to YOUR ex.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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[quote]but you didn't "have" to pay... if that check didn't go out... your ass wasn't in the sling for it... again... YOU HAVE NFC.. you have not been in those shoes.... period... you can say you have and in your own little 6 inch universe "think" you've been there... but you haven't.. period. [/quote]
Hmm... I assure you my universe is bigger than 6 inches. And you're right.. my husband would just have been in jail. With me sitting in a hospital.. or at home with a then-sick child.
I felt JUST as much responsibility to provide for that child as HE did. That's why **I** shortened MY working sabbatical and left OUR child to ensure she DID get supported.
Her father didn't. I did.
So you can tell me how "not responsible" I was. I assure you, I was.
But you can insert another post filled with expletives and whatnot. Tick tock tick tock.
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KrazyKat
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/05/07
Posts: 1714
Loc: Somewhere in the Middle
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You can disagree all you want with me. In a courtroom a JUDGE has never mingled CS and Custody. It's always handled as seperate issues. Everyone on this board makes statements about that fact every day.
If you want to handle it as a joint issue outside of the courtroom, then that's your perogative. It's a fact your child was USED as a pawn on the basis of Money. And that, IS truly a sad thing.
JL is no better than your EX for using her child as a pawn to reduce custody time with his father in order to promise a reduction in CS. Irregardless if he see's the kid or not.
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If you have a problem, build a bridge and get over it!
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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I have no problem in doing what I will do. If the money was in the account.... I wouldn't even consider it.... but yeah.. call it anything you want.. I wanted our daughter here..... I'd sell my soul to do it.... and not bat an eye. She needed to be here with her family and friends and away from SM.
Legally, just like you have done your review...I too can do a review and I will. >shrugs<
***edited to add***
In my case, time was important... if we didn't do the deal by Oct, then I was looking at Jan before she would be allowed to move home..... due to school. We did what we had to do to get her here.... instead of 10 hours away.... slightly different from your ex's case.... it wasn't a move away.
Edited by Runswithscissors (06/25/08 10:25 PM)
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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In a courtroom a JUDGE has never mingled CS and Custody.
------------>ours did. We did Cs and custody in the same day. We came to an agreement and he signed off on it... took all of 10 minutes. just as JL can do...... they can come to an agreement, and the Judge can approve it......
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KrazyKat
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/05/07
Posts: 1714
Loc: Somewhere in the Middle
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The JUDGE themselves do not mingle them.
As I said, YOU and your Ex or JL and her Ex can agree outside of the courtroom and the judge might/will approve it.
The JUDGE themselves would never come up with a solution that a person looses their custody based on non payment of CS or that Custody changes hands via the new CP not receiving CS. Just doesn't happen when the Judge is making the decision.
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If you have a problem, build a bridge and get over it!
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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JL said her ex has agreed to the proposal, so I am not sure what the problem is......
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