preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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[quote]all you said was that it was hysterical. NOW you've come up with some justification of your put-down. But....my point is still that you base your condemnation on your own situation and NOT how the rest of the country would fare. [/quote]
It wasn't a "put-down".. Yes, the thought of doing that here, is laughable. THe thought of the majority of CPs being "okay" with an NCP carting their children to pick ups and drop offs or anywhere else that matter, on the back of a Schwinn, is a RIOT. No way in hell.
You can choose to see it anyway you like. That's your interpretation. But..god knows there's a ton of CPs looking for ANY excuse to justify children not being with the other parent. I'm sure riding the kids around on a bicycle would rank pretty high on the list. What about an emergency? WHat would they do? How would they go to an ER? blh blah blah blh blah...
And I'll be the FIRST one to raise my hand and say YUP.. I would NOT be okay with that. For those very reasons.
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KrazyKat
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/05/07
Posts: 1714
Loc: Somewhere in the Middle
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I don't think one should go to jail for non payment. As with my cousin, he was there for 9 months. The CS amount never changed. The arrearages kept piling on. Even with his $25 distribution. It made no sense to put him more in the hole and it just tied up a spot for someone committing a far worse crime. Like rape, murder, etc.
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If you have a problem, build a bridge and get over it!
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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KK - I respect your opinion, not everyone's going to agree. Not everyone here is going to agree with everything everyone else does - nor is that what I would expect.
I'm doing what's right for ME, and for my SON. And that's all that matters.
I have the full support of the judge, my family, XH's family, and everyone who knows me. Heck - if I were following everyone's advice IRL, who actually KNOW XH and have seen my go through all of this? I wouldn't BE at the hearing today. I'd be listening to his family call me this afternoon to let me know he's in jail. OR we'd be waiting a few months for CSE to file charges again, and I'd hear he's in jail then.
I'm doing the right thing for me, and whether or not anyone agrees or disagrees doesn't matter in the end - I'm doing what's besst for my son.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26700
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It made no sense to put him more in the hole and it just tied up a spot for someone committing a far worse crime. Like rape, murder, etc.
It made no sense for him to not pay, I do not want to see anyone in jail for circumstances beyond their control, but at what level does jail happen, and is there any attempt to pay. Just the idea that someone in jail for not paying child support is "taking a spot" of a rapist or murderer does nto even make sense. There are plenty of spots for all the criminals, just do what arizona does. Jail is a punishment, an offshoot of that is the deterrent factor. The threat of going to jail is a deterrent, but the actual sentence is a punishment and a deterrent. Let let judge handle it, if the judge is tired of seeing people in his courtroom, then he needs a new job, I am sure people here get tired of seeing clients more than once, oh well. There are exceptions to everything, and that is more obvious here. Its like if someone saw jesus walking on water, they would complain that he can't swim. If you don't pay your bills, your wrong, if you don't support your children, your wrong. Its funny, we don't equate support with parenting time, but every state does, let a single parent, or two parents not support their children, and the state can take them away, happens every day. I don't care whether you pay CS or are owed it, everyone knows what wrong and right is. Let it go to court, thats what court is for. I don't care, you don;t support you kids, you are a deadbeat. If you can't support your kids and make no attempt to get help, well then your a proud deadbeat that is stupid. Its a simple concept, you have kids, you support them.
Sometimes peace of mind is worth being weak. But not holdng a parent to minimum legal requirement for support of their children is not doing anyone any favors except the person who owes the money. Its a bad example to set for your children.
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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I agree with you Redlegg. One point I think too many people are either failing or refusing to see is that for my son and for our situation, this isn't a black and white issue. I'm willing to let some of the arrearage go, as well as accept a less amount of CS each month if it means I do have more peace of mind in knowing I'm doing the right thing.
Honestly? I don't expect him to fulfill his obligations. He has shown me thus far being a parent (emotionally, physically, and financially) is not a priority to him. I doubt he will ever change, but I feel I owe it to myself and my son to give him one more chance. After this, I will know I did my best and the courts can handle it from here on out.
My son's welfare and his best interests are more important to me than constantly being angry that his father isn't who I wish he were.
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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The difference between your ex and my ex is that MY ex can afford CS. He lives in a million dollar home and makes very good money. *IF* he can provide me with proof that what I paid is "somewhere" as in another account, whatever.... then I won't do the increase... if he can't prove to me that it's not out there.... then I WILL do the increase.... He was ordered to put that $$ into a "savings" account established for our daughter. He's lucky I haven't done contempt charges. I am going to enterain this in Oct. I will again as for the information and inform him that if he does not oblige, then I will seek CS review through CSE. I can do that.... or hit him with contempt.
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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What does dragging an adoption and an abortion into it have to do with anything whatsoever? Totally irrelevant and said solely to hurt. I'm a-ok with my decisions in those regards, but nice try.
----->That's what I am wondering too.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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Thanks for the clarification and confirming our situations are NOTHING alike. I'm not initiating child support review, or filing contempt as a punishment.
Unlike I think anyone here, I'm not going through the courts.. whatsoever.
So, please.. stop lumping me into your bucket.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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[quote]----->That's what I am wondering too. [/quote]
It's her new "trick". And who says you can't teach an old dog new ones? ;)
I think it's hysterical she evidently thinks it bothers me. This year is 22 years for one, 19 years for the other. I'm quite beyond it and couldn't care what anyone else's position on it is. Wayyyyyy beyond any 'statute of limitations' for beating me about the head :)
But if she gets her jollies off that way.. so be it. Evidently the country club and minding the lifeguard's business isn't quite enough for her.
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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I think its the same with the "big hair", "adam's apple" and "manicure" BS. Cracks me up, too. Like that hurts my feelings or something. I'm certainly not threadjacking and posting pictures of my hands to prove how nice my nails are now. I don't give a fvck, unlike some people.
Shiat, I HAVE big hair, big deal! Its a pain in the arse, too. I don't think I've ever said otherwise on this board. The adam's apple comment? Well, I honestly don't know where to go with that one. I don't think I have ever had anyone make a comment like that to me. I *have* had people comment on my jaw. It's the <insert maiden name> jutting jaw. All my siblings have it. That's how everyone knew I was a <insert maiden name> girl.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
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