Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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You and Hillary have a lot in common... she claimed to have "more" experience because she had been the first lady..... you have "more" experience because you married a dead beat..... I guess my mother would make a great General since my dad was one....... it's all BS.. period.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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[quote]Legally, just like you have done your review...I too can do a review and I will. >shrugs<
--------->> Again, get your facts straight. And people wonder why I repeat them, b/c they're invariably totally mis-stated even though they are QUITE clearly presented.
I did NOT do a "review". My order stays as it did on issuance. $25 per month. No extras, No college.
Our "case" has not been NEAR the court for ANYTHING since it was signed last September.
Per our Stipulation it was to be re-calculated, by mutual agreement, after filing 2007 tax returns. I reminded ex of that, and the paperwork that would be needed to file a modification. He asked for calculations. I made a spreadsheet.
He is unable to afford the amount that such a modification would create, even when calculated at the lowest possible "valid" income level.
He OFFERED, since he is now making over double what the order is based on, to pay a certain amount. IF he is able to . He has already almost bounced once check. I was delayed 4 weeks ago in depositing, I gave him a heads up (first ex holds checks forever.. drives him crazy).. When I did I could tell something was wrong, so I asked if he needed me to hold it. Finally he asked that I do. I just gave him the check back. It would have bounced.
This week? I'm sure he'll ask to skip for a while. He is paying his bankruptcy attorney. Which I have "issues" with in concept, that he created $50K of debt in 6 months and didn't pay a dollar. But he has 4 lawsuits pending and if they garnish his pay, he can't pay child support #1. She will have in court at the first missed payment. I understand why he needs to file the bankruptcy now that he's created the mess.. don't agree with his creating the mess in the first place. He knows that. Can't disagree with me.
Sooooo... we have no new order. We will NOT have a new order. I have let the modification period pass. We have no other conditions for recalculation in our Stipulation. Modifications here, as he and I WELLL know, do NOT just happen. Even if justified.
I will not now.. nor in 6 months.. nor in a year... ask for a modification. He has an amount he has offered to contribute. When/if he can. If he has a problem, he won't pay it. I have no recourse, I know I have no recourse, I am fine that I have no recourse.
The most important thing to me is that our child have a happy, well-adjusted relationship with BOTH her parents. That we are not quibbling over dollars.
He is a loving father who would carve out his own kidney himself if one of them needed it.
I will not now.. nor will I ever... become what his first wife is.
I started down that path last year. I did not like what I saw when I looked years down the road, or when I looked at myself in the mirror. Took awhile to "get there" but what matters is that we are loving parents, who will have each other's back if the need ever arises (homelessness, illness etc). That is our commitment, our "debt" to each other. And it is not "measured" in dollars. It is measured in commitment, loyalty, kindness and caring. THAT best serves our child... our children.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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[quote]You and Hillary have a lot in common... she claimed to have "more" experience because she had been the first lady..... you have "more" experience because you married a dead beat..... I guess my mother would make a great General since my dad was one....... it's all BS.. period. [/quote]
My ex is NOT a deadbeat.
There has NEVER been a missed child support payment for first child.
Yes, he missed payments with me this year. Which, we discussed.. and was a misunderstanding of communication. Which is fine. I'm not going to call him a deadbeat over $100.
And I never said (again... jesus christ... I say "y", you have to make it "y squared") I had MORE experience. I said I could SYMPATHIZE and UNDERSTAND having been an NCP wife.. and having 2 long term boyfriends as NCP fathers (6 children between them, 3 mothers).
THAT is what I said. "MORE" never came out of my mouth. YOU put it there. As usual.
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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because there are numerous more locations than YOURS, and the bus system might just be a viable option. But YOU just decided that since it wouldn't work in YOUR area, then it's a stupid idea.
As for the system being punitive...well, if ya don't take care of your responsibilities, then I have no problem with someone being punished. Kinda like kids....getting a punishment usually corrects the problem, don'tcha think?
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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to see how it is....and since she is sticking up for them so darned much, she must have had it done in order to understand them soooooo darned well.
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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custody is simply determined first, then based upon that, the judge then determines CS. They are still separate issues, but can be handled at one time, but sequentially with custody being first.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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I believe what I said was.. that him riding child around on the bus or a taxi would likely end up with her saying that he wasn't providing sufficient/safe environment for child and she'd probably take him back to court for THAT.
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jil_stevens
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/31/06
Posts: 3893
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Personally, my ex drives like a maniac. He is a loose cannon, and always speeding and cutting people off. If someone makes him mad, he goes out of his way to inconvenience them. Road rage waiting for someone to die. I would MUCH rather he have the kids on a bus or taxi than in a car with him driving. And in a lot of cities, public transportation is quite common. I don't see that anyone would claim it is an unsafe living environment, unless they are actually living on the bus.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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Children are children.. without "responsibility" (ie: they don't have rent to pay, have to pay for their own food etc).
Children's punishment is not to put them in a 6x9 so they cannot earn a wage or keep a roof over their heads.
Jail for child support is excessively punitive in that it violates the civil liberties of the incarcerated.
To use everyone's popular "debt" analogy. They don't have debtor's prison. If you don't pay your Amex, no one is going to haul you off to prison til you pay up. They don't take away your ability to shower in private, or to eat what you want to eat, or take away your driver's license.
They garnish your wages, they attach your property.
So if one is going to compare child support debt to any other debt, then be consistent.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8148
Loc: This Asylum --->
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"Jail for child support is excessively punitive in that it violates the civil liberties of the incarcerated."
Not really. It is a civil or criminal contempt remedy. It violates nothing since a hearing is granted as a requirement of due process. Unlike other debts, there is an order to pay and there is a statutory duty of support.
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