Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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I have an issue with people waiving child support solely to get what they want, and then turning around and going after the other party for it.
----------------->so, let me ask you this. You are faced with two options.
1) Fighting out the CS issue in court and contempt issue and taking up more time, more money and leaving your child 10 hours away with a SM that was mentally abusing her and "best" case scenerio is that if you weren't done by xmas, it would be the following SUMMER before child came home knowing it was against the child's wishes.
2) Agreeing to the waiver (which I did) and looking at it in a year and hoping that after everything settles down that the ex does have the money somewhere and that he's just being an ass. Before I go after CS, I am going to give him ONE more shot at showing me where the money is. IF he has it.... no problems... NO increase in CS.. .if he does NOT.. then I am going after CS.
That's not a bait and switch. My goal from the beginning was to get her home... period.... it was after we started this mess was when we found out about the money not being there... I had a choice.. to fight over it.. leaving her miserable in a school she hated and living in a hotel or get her home..... I would do the same thing again.
If you think that's bad.... SO EFFIN what..... it doesn't break my heart!
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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You've had opportunity since you first started bytching about stepmom in 2005 to get your child back. So it shouldn't have been this "all fired up" rush to get her back.
Call it what you want.. you're a welcher.
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RJ1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/19/05
Posts: 5164
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And see...he DID pay SOMETHING. Another thing JL exaggerates to make herself out to be a victim. I wish I had gotten thousands from my ex in the last year like her...and if my ex DID pay me I'd give him credit for it. But she continually goes around saying "he's not paying"!
RJ
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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In 2005 there wasn't a change in circumstance you idiot. Just because there is a SM, doesn't make it a change. Just because I don't like the woman and i felt she was abusive to daughter- doesn't warrant a change. I had to get some documentation going, which I did. However, her grades were good and she was with me 1/2 of the time..... I didn't have a chance in HELL to change it....in 2005. The case would of been thrown out and it would of cost an assload. I had to sit and wait for the right time.
The rush is that she was no longer an hour away and I had her 1/2 the time to her moving 10 hours away and me seeing her "maybe" 1 x a month and her father being gone 90% of the time with his new job leaving daughter with SM full time...... that's change of circumstance right there and warranted a change in custodial change and was done so very easily and quickly after 2 years of documentation and the GAL's advice.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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[quote]What is wrong with Jennylynn contacting CSE and asking them to do something about the child support issues? Isn't that their job???? [/quote]
Since you asked....there is nothing legally wrong with it at all. It just goes against everything she says is important to her - her son's welfare.
She will never see a regular monthly check from this loser. He was a zero before her, he was a zero when she got pregnant by him, he was a zero while they were married, and lo and behold STILL a zero as an ex-husband - what a shock. HE hasn't changed. JL maybe made some immature decisions that got her married to him - but she stepped up and became a responsible loving parent (who could not surprisingly no longer tolerate his overgrown child arse) as we would have hoped he would. But he didn't. And NOTHING his ex wife does to him will MAKE him grow the fcuk up.
All her son wants is to love and be loved by this unfortunate excuse for a parent. Sad but true. He will measure his "lovability" by the way this man treats him for quite some time. He wouldn't give a darn if his only toy is a cardboard box dug out of the neighbors garbage because Daddy doesn't pay CS. It's just not on his radar. I cannot see how pursuing money she knows she won't get is going to help her son feel more loved by his father.
So if she isn't pursuing contempt to get some money (I think we can all agree that won't happen), or to make her son feel better? Why then? I don't think she is deliberately malicious, but I do think the anti-man mentality of our society has convinced everyone that pursuing and throwing EVERY nonpayor of CS in jail is "what's best for the kids." But I think if we sit down and REALLY examine many situations - its just not true. People hiding money in off-shore accounts and in their girlfriends name? Sure throw them in jail. They are idiots. They have it to give and just don't. A 30 yo waiter living with his mommy? Not so much.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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because it should be pursued. Because he has a financial obligation to the child. Because someday Jennylynn might be able to recover all that was owed to her....and why shouldn't she be able to get reimbursed for all she has had to spend to raise the child on her ex's behalf?
If she just lets it go, then there is no hope that he will ever be held accountable. And the dickwad will win.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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Right.. then what were all the intermediate "battles" you so often refer to when you give your war count of how much you've "been through"?
Of course, that's one of those "facts" that conveniently changes based on how you want to be perceived in that argument. It's either you've NEVER had a custody battle, or you've lived through 5 or 6 and who the f is anyone to judge YOUR experience level.
Which is probably why you back JL. Same thing. Two peas in a behavioral pod.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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eom
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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wait, you are confused.
I did have 5 custody battle all PRIOR to 98. After 98, I had (0) until this one. SM didn't come into the picture until 2003 (I think). All the custody battles were initiated by HIM not me.
He wanted sole custody from the beginning and I had custody. He's never wanted to pay me CS. We went from me having soul, to him getting custody to me retaining custody to joint custody and finally me giving him custody in 98 just to get it over with. It wasn't going to stop. I had to due to my health and the fact I lost a twin in the process. There have been NO other battles until this one in 2007.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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Sometimes you have to let the dickwads win in order to be right by your kid.
And I am NOT suggesting that she NOT have a CS order in place. H3LL I'd put in to have his tax return confiscated from now till the end of time or I was paid back. Hey - he might win the lottery some day ya know? But I WOULD NOT WOULD NOT WOULD NOT be pursuing contempt for non-payment knowing that he won't pay (and really - can't pay even if it is his own stupid fault) and the ONLY option for him will be to sign away his son and/or JAIL. It's just senseless.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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