MTmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: MT
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[quote]I agree- I don't think he will go to jail anyway. He has another kid that he IS supporting that was born first.
The courts are going to allow him to catch up, I think they should re-work his CS to fit a min wage job 40 hours a week. He could get TWO part time jobs working at a burger joint, gas station, etc. if he can't find ONE 40 hour a week job.
They will have him pay a min. amount each month towards arrears. As for dismissing the arrears that IS up to JL and I don't think she should dismiss ANY of the arrears even if she can get him to agree to less visitation and her having sole. Mixing this CS issue with custody is wrong in my eyes. [/quote]
How does this "first child first" business work. PM - maybe you can help me here.
Does the first child support obligation come off the top of the NCP's income Before the 2nd calculation, or is it just an adjustment w/in the worksheet?
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Melody
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 10102
Loc: California
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or a bus pass? Lotta people who cannot afford cars use them.
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matilda
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/04
Posts: 2087
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He already had a newer car that he didn't make payments on, so Jenny had to make up the payments/interest so it wouldn't be repossessed and further wreck BOTH of their credit. A new car depreciates about 20% the second you drive it off the lot. It is a lot smarter to buy a 1-3 year old vehicle that has already suffered the largest amount of depreciation, but still has many years of quality use left.
You are definitely right that I have never lived it personally because I am not stupid enough to put myself in that position. On the other hand I have helped counsel many people to improve their credit scores. Getting a credit card would have been less expensive, but would have helped maintain his credit score. Your justifications are weak at best, sorry.
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Cassie23
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/07/05
Posts: 14714
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YAH-- have you worked those 2 or 3 jobs without a car?
I think some type of transportation is a must. I know we have buses here, but they don't run all hours and they don't run on Sundays.
Have you worked 3 jobs during the SCHOOL year when you have primary custody of your children?
I think that would be very difficult to do. Not that he has primary custody of the kids, but I worked two jobs once- not even because I had to, I was leaving one and going to another--- those two jobs left me with NO time for my kids. They saw DH more than they ever saw me then.
The courts aren't going to care about his expenses anyway. They aren't going to tell him to get rid of his car. We can sit here and say he should, but I just disagree entirely with that. What happens if he has DS and he gets sick in the middle of the night? He has to run out and get him meds, etc. but he has no vehicle? Not having a vehicle will hurt more than it would help in concern to having two children.
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9394
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In the state where JL and I live, the support he pays for the first child comes off the top of his gross income before they figure child support.
Well, it's a part in the child support computation, but that's essentually what it works out to. So, if he's making $2000 a month, and he is paying $230 a month for Child#1, then they figure child support with his income at $1770.
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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As for te cell phone, I do not recall what he does for a living, but it may be required, and it MAY have a contract (it probably DOES have a contract) which is more expensive to get out of than to stay in.
---->He's either a bartender or waiter, can't recall which.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
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RJ1
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/19/05
Posts: 5164
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I agree Cassie. Also, I see everybody's side. I don't think any of us are saying he is not in contempt...but...he has made SOME efforts to pay. I don't think any of us are saying he's not a dimwit...however...he is the child's Father.
What I get aggravated with JL about is she seems to come off as such a victim when her choices were hers to make. For example, the car issue. She took up the payments to help herself...not her ex. She didn't want her credit hurt further and it was a much better car than the one she had. I always shook my head over that decision...she had a PAID FOR car that her parents gave her. I never would have accepted something like that from my parents but she did as we each deal with things in our way. But...it was PAID FOR and she wasn't getting CS. So why in the world did she take up payments? She should have kept the car her parents gave her and saved that money. However, now she's saying she was "helping" her ex. Bull! She was helping herself under the guise of helping her ex. It was her choice...he owes her NOTHING for that transaction. I personally think it was a bad decision...but she can't go around saying she was helping her ex.
Then she claims to fame that she has offered to HELP her ex over and over. But she took him to court TWICE! That's not helping him. I would have more respect if she just said, "heck yeah he owes son CS and heck yeah I'm the one that got this process started"...instead of always saying the "state" is doing it. NO...the state is doing it because SHE ASKED THEM TO!
The little "I'm a perfect fairy princess" act just gets old to me.
However, I still think her ex owes it. I think her case would have been stronger if she had waited...accrued MORE back CS on the books, and THEN took him to court. And PM is right...judges WILL get tired of seeing them BOTH no matter who is at fault.
RJ
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9394
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I disagree. I happened to have a car through my struggles financially. BUT...both of my places of employment would have enabled me to walk/ride a bike. Where he lived, this was totally an option.
We are sooo freaking spoiled in this country. Seriously. That we are unwilling to accept some inconveniences to provide for our children and live up to our obligations.
In answer to your question, YES, I've worked 2 jobs during the school year while I have my children. That's while still meeting their needs and getting them to soccer and scouts and other actvities. I worked the weekends and holidays the kdis were with their dad, and I worked the one night a week when we didn't have scheduled events. Before they were able to stay home alone that one night, I would trade babysitting with a friend, who was also a single mom.
NO, it hasn't been easy. It's taken me three years to dig myself out of that hole. But, you know what? I'll NEVER make the stupid decisions that got me into that hole again.
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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"Perfect little fairy" act?
I don't see that of her at all. I see her as unassertive and unsure about a LOT of things, but I think she genuinely wants to do the right thing. Her heart is in the right place. I've always thought that of JL.
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I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
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Arden
old hand
Reged: 02/27/06
Posts: 858
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Maybe I read the letter from BFF Attorney at Large wrong, but I don't think he was saying he can't afford what he has now, plus meet his obligations. I read he was saying he can't meet these obligation while obtaining other things he doesn't have now. Such as his own place to live. To me he needs to prioritize his needs against his wants. Clean up the child support mess, which can be done quickly if he just does it. Then he can work toward affording his own place.
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