JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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LOL thanks sweetie!
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matilda
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/04
Posts: 2087
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YH, I think we need to just accept the fact that Preemie is a huge enabler of her EXH. She will always make excuses for his behavior/choices. Just because she wants to continue to be an enabler doesn't mean JL has to continue to be one as well.
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PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
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From the sounds of it, someone knows an illegal alien who seems to be doing better than this guy, whats up with that.
---->LOL! Good point!
--------------------
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey
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MTmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 2711
Loc: MT
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JL - DO NOT RESPOND TO THAT EMAIL AGAIN. :)
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JennyLynn
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/14/05
Posts: 31656
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I'm not! He doesn't have email access at home anyway. That's why he texted me to ask if I got the email, he didn't know I responded!
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 7784
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"Why don't YOU try being a non-custodial parent, particularly a male one. See how it all works out for you, and how YOU do."
_______________________________________________________
OK now I'm laughing...seriously, you want me to go out and have an operation to become a man just so I can say I've been there to experience this??? This coming from someone who offers mucho advice to parents with teens to which she has no experience?
Well I HAVE been there. I've been with an EOW Dad working two jobs to support his kids when they are with him and when they are with their Mom. I've been with a guy who couldn't afford to buy anything except Hamburger Helper or *insert box meal here*. I spent two years with him trying to get out of the debt SHE left him with, and we're talking MORE than $6000.00, all while still paying out $1250 per month in child support. So I have been there, I have lived it, and I know with a little hard work and perseverance you CAN get out. JL's ex has spent so long getting OUT of his predicaments, he doesn't WANT to deal with any of them.
And why would he? He's been able to weasel out of everything so far, so JL should fully expect him to try every trick under the sun to get his way. The only way to stop this cycle is to put your foot down and keep it down. Period.
And since it's her life, I guess she can decide what's best for it. Even if some people don't agree. Even if some people are right and she's wrong. I said it before, no one will be able to change her mind except her. So why keep on for pages and pages "discussing" it?
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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No it's called being a human being.. and not viewing one's ex as a paycheck..or our children as collateral. Nor do I have a wish to ex my ex out of my child's life.
I'm very comfortable with my positions/values. And I'm quite sure at the end of 19 years in my case, my life will have been a LOT less stress and angst filled than JL's.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"I've been with a guy who couldn't afford to buy anything except Hamburger Helper "
Hamburger Helper? I'm jealous... I can't afford the hamburger...Tuna Helper is much cheaper in the long run...
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20056
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"And I'm quite sure at the end of 19 years in my case, my life will have been a LOT less stress and angst filled than JL's."
Or, you may just wake up from your martyr life and realize what an idiot you've been for being an enabler to your ex and allowing him to walk all over you... let's see what your dd will learn from that...
Btw, can you loan me some money? 10k should do it. Oh, and I can't really afford to pay you back, but I promise to do the best I can and if and when I can send you a $20, I sure will. So, how about it?
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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My CHILD is not for SALE.
I don't feel like a matyr.. I don't feel "gyped". And b/c I don't EVER intend to drag my daughter into the financials of her father and I, I can't IMAGINE how she would know.
Jesus Christ.. what is wrong with you people?
ETA: What MATTERS is the chld's RELATIONSHIP with her father. NOT how much he pays for one.
I had this conversation with my gentleman friend at lunch today. Divorced guy.. adult child. All the positions of most of you definately did NOT come as a surprise. Although mine did. I have infinitely more class in his eyes. I would agree.
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