M5M5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/29/05
Posts: 11722
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I'm sure if he wants to help out his child, he can...it just won't be as much as he will for the MINOR child he still has! Once a child reaches adult age, he can no longer expect to be fully supported by one parent, especially when that other parent has minor children still in the household. There comes a time when the ADULT child will have to learn to take care of himself. That's not saying that you still can't help out the adult child...if you can afford it.
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KrazyKat
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/05/07
Posts: 1714
Loc: Somewhere in the Middle
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Courts sent my cousin to jail for non payment of Child Support.
He was there for 9 months. BTW, in jail, they have jobs. And they make $$ each day which goes towards their payments. Cousin's job was one in which he worked along side the highways cleaning up the city. He earned $25 a day. That money went towards his court fee's and CS.
Not sure if it's done like that everywhere, but that's what happened to Cousin in Texas.
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If you have a problem, build a bridge and get over it!
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Arden
old hand
Reged: 02/27/06
Posts: 858
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Just a general response.
I am not a fan of courts making parents of divorce pay for college. Not a fan of jail time for CS arrears either. Unless of course the NCP is filthy rich and hiding money in offshore accounts.
I think some kind of work program would work better. Get in arrears and you will be picking trash and dead animals up off the roads. Cut the grass in the medians with a push mower. Paint building, line parking lots, clean out drainage ditches. County or state can pay them minimum wage into their arrears account, which will go out monthly to the CP. The one that are unable to do that type of work can do the paperwork, accounting and whatnot on the others. The NCP's that are behind due to something beyond their control would probably welcome a chance to get things right. The ones that aren't will probably find another way real fast to get caught up or not get behind in the first place.
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Arden
old hand
Reged: 02/27/06
Posts: 858
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About paying for college, I am going to use Cincsu as an example only because she has posted in this thread.
You can not use her child as an example if you don't include SS siblings on his mothers side. Say Cincsu kicks in the difference her husband and BM can't, her SS gets a paid for education. Well, he still has two other siblings that won't be going, if BM can't afford it for him, she sure can't afford the others either. In the whole big picture of things there is no way to make everything fair. Now if he lived with them full time it might be another story.
On the other hand what if BM takes up with a Bill Gates or she buys a winning lotto ticket. She then can afford to pay for all her kids to get a higher education. What if something went south in Cincsu's life and she could no longer afford her half to send her child. Would it be expected for BM to pony for Cinsues child just because she is related to SS?
Too many what if's in life. That is why I don't like to see the courts involve themselves in college issues.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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I think its fair to say you help your kids, and your stepkids as much as you can. That is different for different people, there is no one set formula that works for all, people make different amounts, save differently, etc. You help, and you teach your kids to help themselves. Its called growing up, no one has a right to have a free college education, you have to earn it whether its with a scholarship, or jobs, or loans to pay back. Everyone can have one, but people get wrapped around the axle about parents paying for it, and that is BS, they should help their children help themselves.
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KrazyKat
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/05/07
Posts: 1714
Loc: Somewhere in the Middle
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It's a LEGAL fact that a child is considered an adult at the age of 18.
IMO, that is when the CS should end. The child is considered a Legal Adult and in the eyes of the law, the parents are no longer responsible.
So I totally don't get why in the world there are CO's that state CS is until the child turns 21. There are not that many CP's who are truly supporting their child at that age. And if they are, they haven't done a very good job as a parent to make the kid self sufficient.
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If you have a problem, build a bridge and get over it!
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Runswithscissors
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 05/29/04
Posts: 13381
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You know Cassie... it's a tough call..... Do I think a person should go to jail over CS? (having paid it like I had too, my answer is no).... but also having to pay like I had to pay.. it pisses me off to NO end when a deadbeat (MALE OR FEMALE) does not support their child. Do you hurt child #1? I dunno....... I know that I hurt child #2 (My son) because of things I could not buy HIM because I had to pay for child #1...... it's tough. I gave up a lot and there were times (before I was married) that i lived off beans and rice. I refused to get behind in my CS.. I would eat glass before getting behind in CS. It was a "pride" thing with me..... yeah, look at me... a MOM having to pay 1K of CS to a man.......I would of ended up homeless before I missed a payment to him... just because.
I feel in JL's situation... she has tried so many times....... I don't see her doing this out of spite.. at all... just like Katie... look how long it's taken her.....
I feel a time comes when you do the crime, you do the time and "maybe" you straighten your ass up and get a job and start doing what you are suppose to do.
I think his CS is too high right now... and i think it needs to be re-evaluated.... but that's not my problem...... it's up to him to request that. (no offense JL).... but I KNOW this dude is having a hell of a time paying... but he can find 2 to 3 jobs... he has a debt, he needs to pay it.
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7952
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Here in Missouri it can be up to age 22 if the child is in higher education. The qualifications to keep that CS going? 9 credit hrs per semester, and a 2.0 gpa. That is utterly ridiculous, and basically allows an adult to keep on collecting CS for themselves (since the CS is then sent to the "adult" directly) for doing nothing more than doing something half assed.
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greeneyes
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/08
Posts: 2847
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At 21, many are still in college or just finishing up college. Many do not have fulltime jobs yet. I don't consider the parents who are supporting these kids as doing a piss poor job at parenting.
If a 21 year old is not in school or not working and a parent is paying for everything, that is a different story.
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matilda
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 11/11/04
Posts: 2087
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Runs, were you able to get the savings account with your ex resolved? As I remember he was supposed to have been putting a lot of the CS you gave him into a college account for your D, but there was hardly any money in it.
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