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PrincessJ
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Re: It's settled! [Re: JennyLynn]
      #420083 - 06/26/08 03:48 PM

[quote]The arrangement we've had in place PJ? [/quote]

Yeah. I guess. Not what he exercises but exactly what it was ON PAPER. KWIM?

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Tweeby
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Re: It's settled! [Re: 1966Gal]
      #420085 - 06/26/08 03:49 PM

I would agree Runs. Thee is not that big of a difference between joint and sole legal. The NCP STILL has rights. JL STILL has to inform her ex of any major decisions now she just doesn't have to have him agree. Meaning if her ex is not around and a decision needs to be made she makes it without having to worry about her ex contesting it later.

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Melody
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It's decision making!!!! [Re: agui667]
      #420089 - 06/26/08 03:52 PM

What the heck???? He's not giving up his kid in order to clear a debt...he gave up the power to make decisions regarding the kid....whole different picture. He still has visitation....it's just semantics (sole vs. joint). And in 10 years, she can explain that to the kid, because he will have the competency to grasp the difference between the two types of custody.

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Cassie23
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Re: It's settled! [Re: MTmom]
      #420090 - 06/26/08 03:52 PM

If her ex was willing to give her sole custody then she wouldn't have needed the lawyers and everything else.

I think making custody issue at a CS nonpayment hearing is wrong. I am surprised this judge allowed it.

Is it normal in OK for a custody and CS to be done at the same time? Even if it is then fine- but if that's not the norm...then I think the courts made a mistake and BOTH the parents made a mistake.


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JennyLynn
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Re: It's settled! [Re: PrincessJ]
      #420092 - 06/26/08 03:54 PM

PJ - what we originally had in place was joint legal custody.

His visitation consisted of holidays (we'd switch off), EOW Friday through Monday, EVERY Thursday, 5 weeks in the summer.

He's exercised ONE of his holidays. He did keep him a bit extra over Christmas when he had his daughter. he's exercised his Thursday night visitation 4 times in over a year. Basically, it's EOW.

He's never been to a dr. appointment or dentist appt. - not even when I had to take DS to the ER. I've informed him of everything. He didn't want to help choose his daycare. NONE of the decisions regarding our son has he wanted ANYTHING to do with. he doesn't even know DS's pediatrician or dentist's names, or where they are - I've told him...but he wouldn't remember. He had to ask me for his daycare's name 5 times after he'd already started. He doesn't WANT to have responsibility for these decisions.

Now? This is all on paper, only his EOW visitation ends at 6pm Sundays b/c I'm sick of picking DS up on Mondays after his father's visitation with him falling asleep in the car when we live 2 miles from his daycare b/c he's had no rest at his dad's.

Child Support? He was originally ordered to pay $602.75/month - this included half of daycare, medical/dental insurance, and roughly $200 of that was in actual "child support." Since November he was also ordered to pay $130/month for arrears, and $119/month for his portion of debt he owes me on the van (this doesn't include other debts he owes me in full amount).

Now? He gets 6 months to pay $3K in arrears. He only has to pay $300/month in CS (including everything - daycare, insurance, etc).

And I now get on paper what I've had all along anyway.

Will I regret my decision? Nope.

Edited by JennyLynn (06/26/08 03:56 PM)


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Runswithscissors
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Re: It's settled! [Re: preemiemom]
      #420094 - 06/26/08 03:55 PM

We already knew he wasn't going ot jail because yesterday he accepted her offer......I remember saying to you and KrazyKat if it's agreed upon then "what's the problem".... he agreed YESTERDAY to her proposal.........

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MTmom
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Re: It's settled! [Re: Cassie23]
      #420095 - 06/26/08 03:55 PM

"I think making custody issue at a CS nonpayment hearing is wrong. I am surprised this judge allowed it. "

Lots of judges "allow" it... I personally know of 4 who have.. and I don't personally know JL, so she's not counted.

Lots of judges allow and even support negotiating child support for parenting plans that will reduce fighting.. I've seen it first hand.


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Melody
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He DIDN"T relinquish his rights [Re: JennyLynn]
      #420097 - 06/26/08 03:55 PM

he merely agreed to let Jennylynn be the decision maker....and as compensation for this option, he gets to keep $3000 IF he pays the other $3000 by December. What will really be interesting is if he fails to do that....and then Jenny gets what she wanted all along WITHOUT having to forgive any of the money.

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Runswithscissors
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Re: It's settled! [Re: JennyLynn]
      #420098 - 06/26/08 03:56 PM

Congrats JL!!! Go party!

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JennyLynn
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Re: He DIDN"T relinquish his rights [Re: Melody]
      #420099 - 06/26/08 03:57 PM

Exactly Melody - and he also gets to pay less than HALF the state ordered CS.

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