Start Your Divorce Today - Premium Divorce Online


Divorce Source Community Forums >> Stepfamily Issues

Jump to first unread post. Pages: 1
Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
Update...meeting/court date
      #420561 - 06/27/08 10:46 AM

The meeting went well the other day. Mainly, it was a brain storming session and then making a plan. We still have hoops to go through with the 'system'. Short term...we need SD16 back in custody so we can get a comprehnsive evaluation done by the Doc we have the specializes in concurrant disorders. That is step one. From there, we will work on something else...however, the two places they wanted to send her (Montreal and New Brunswick) have apparentlt closed that part of their services. The case worker from the rehab place is searching..and she is resourceful, so we will see what she comes up with.

The court date to present the initial plan was yesterday. SD16 did not show. The day before, she had contacted Dad. She was very combative and after completely berating him and doing her level best to hurt him, she told him she "loves" this molester and she wanst to live with him. She is court ordered to stay away from him.

Hubby called me to tell me where she was...he also called the police. I zoomed over there because we figured she would flee. It still takes me 30 minutes to get there. I set myself up where she couldn't see me but I could see the house. I saw her...tracked her...and kept hubby informed, who ept calling the police. She has a warrant(now multiple warrants) but we could not get them to move. They took my number from hubby and told said they would call me directly. I tracked her until she got on a bus headed into the city. At that point, I gave up and went home. I was home about an hour when the police finally called me. I tried my best not to be flippant with them. "Where did you ast see her?" "Where was she headed" "How long ago was that?" She is long gone....

So...now we have to try and get her arrested again. I don't know if she wll e back to this guys house or not...but we will keep our collective eyes open. Her worker lives not to far from there, so she will help.

The girl I saw her leave with appears to be this girl that recruits young prostitutes. I have crossed referenced her to a site SD16 posts on...one I have consistantly watched for five years...so I know the newer people from her school buddies etc. SD16 has been doing that as well..both the prostitution an the recruiting, according to the info I received from the team. I heard more things that didn't surprise me, just make me a bit sad.

So that's where we're at. Living with us was very short lived. She was here all of two or three nights, I think. I suspect I won't hear from her again until she is jail and crying to come home. I highly doubt(but I say that with caution) that the courts will release her again. We are trying everything we can to make sure they don't. We have the three key players invlved in the 'plan'...EDUCATION-(we had a representative from the school board who is also a psychiatrist who interviewed SD a couple of times regarding starting school)who made her recommendations, there is the JUSTICE department in that her PO is signing off on these recommendations, and the HEALTH DEPARTMENT in that the Matrix people are part of the health department(government run here). I am praying we get somewhere!!

The meeting spanned 2.5 hours and was, for me, incredible. For the very first time, I was encouraged to say what I think/feel/know about this situation with professionals that wanted to hear it. I talked about everything I had ever felt relevent to SD needing help. I went back to the day I met her...all the way through the things I have tried, the reasons she had to leave my home...to re-engaging now. If only I had access to these kinds of people five years ago!!

"Stick and Stay" is the motto with this new "team". There is so much support for SD and for us, that if this doesn't work...I don't know what will. We still have the system to have to deal with though. They are operating under what's called "Section 34" Youth Criminal Justice Act which allows the courts to order this assessment without the consent of the youth, if the courts feel there is reasonable grounds to believe the youth has mental issues. I just hope and pray we can get that happening. First we need her in custody...and off the drugs. The team is ready at a drop of a hat to start. They will work with us. We will allow them to guide us through as far as when or if we should visit SD etc. They have a counselor for us...hubby, me and BM is she is interested to help us lead a balanced life while trying to save SD. We need that so much, we are always looking for advice/answers etc...so this is really a great thing for us.

So...we are still in the planning stages, but I can't tell you how nice it is to have this team now...professionals we can work with to help us with this.

I just pray it works...this is not going to be an easy task, SD is further entrenched in this horrible life :-(

--------------------
Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
PrincessJ
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/25/07
Posts: 7176
Loc: 39.10 degrees North 94.58 degr...
Re: Update...meeting/court date [Re: Spring]
      #420565 - 06/27/08 10:52 AM

Spring, I just don't know how you do it.

--------------------
I hope life isn't a big joke, because I don't get it.
--Jack Handey


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Tweeby
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
Re: Update...meeting/court date [Re: Spring]
      #420569 - 06/27/08 10:55 AM

Praying that this works :)

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
Re: Update...meeting/court date [Re: Spring]
      #420619 - 06/27/08 11:42 AM

I'm SO glad you finally have some local support.

Make sure you take care of you, too.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
javajunkiee
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3195
Loc: SC
Re: Update...meeting/court date [Re: Spring]
      #420626 - 06/27/08 11:56 AM

Spring, are you journaling all of these things that've happened? I ask because at the very least this whole situation would make a compelling investigative story and maybe get the holes in the system in front of the public. That might lead to some changes.

Also, journaling this would not only be helpful to you, but it might make a damn insightful book down the road. Yes, I know that sounds awfully commercial, and the board monitors may come down on me for suggesting it, BUT.

I would guess that you and DH are not the only ones in this situation, where you have a child who is just 'out' there and who you are struggling to help. I think relating your story to others may give people some hope or info to help them get thru their situations.

As others have already said, I don't know how you do it. I hope she surfaces soon, and for long enough to get brought in.

--------------------
Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
arvm
journeyman


Reged: 05/05/07
Posts: 88
Re: Update...meeting/court date [Re: javajunkiee]
      #420636 - 06/27/08 12:18 PM

This is heart-breaking. How frustrating for you and your hubby. How do you do it? How can you keep your life from being consumed by this drug addiction? I hope your hubby appreciates the good woman he has. My best thoughts to you and yours.

Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
Re: Update...meeting/court date [Re: arvm]
      #420826 - 06/27/08 05:20 PM

"Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful."

That's how we do it :-)

Thanks for the support, guys!

--------------------
Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
PhoenixRising
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
Re: Update...meeting/court date [Re: Spring]
      #421138 - 06/28/08 12:53 PM

{{prayers}}

--------------------
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Spring
Carpal \'Tunnel
**

Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 7972
Re: Update...meeting/court date [Re: PhoenixRising]
      #421151 - 06/28/08 02:14 PM

Thanks :-) Very much appreciated!

--------------------
Never consider the possibility of failure; as long as you persist, you will be successful.


Post Extras: Print Post   Remind Me!   Notify Moderator  
Pages: 1



Extra information
0 registered and 14 anonymous users are browsing this forum.

Moderator:  dsAdmin 

Print Topic

Forum Permissions
      You cannot start new topics
      You cannot reply to topics
      HTML is disabled
      UBBCode is disabled

Rating:
Topic views: 1294

Rate this topic

Jump to

Contact Us Divorce Source Home

*
UBB.threads™ 6.5.1.1


Resources & Tools
Start Your Divorce Online Start Your Divorce
Several Options to Get Started Today.
Divorce Tools Online Divorce Tools
Keeping it Simple to Get the Job Done.
Divorce Downloads Download Center
Instantly Download Books, Guides & Forms.
Divorce and Custody Books Discount Books
Over 100 of the Best Divorce & Custody Books.
Negotiate Online Negotiate Online
Settle your Divorce and Save.
Custody and Support Tracking Custody Scheduling
Make Sure You Document Everything.

Easily Connect With a Lawyer or Mediator
Have Divorce Professionals from Your Area Contact You!
Enter Your Zip Code: