lilmama2
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Reged: 08/16/08
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I am from Wisconsin and married a man from Illinois. I went through the proper channels and sent 60 day notice via certified mail to ncp that I was planning on moving. He objected, of course. The first hearing was with the court commissioner and she ordered that I could move. My ex wanted it to be heard in front of a judge. The judge was very biased towards fathers and I don't beleive he even read the GAL report which recommended the move to be in the best interest of the children. The judge ordered that I could not move.
My husband and I have a house in Illinois, had the kids registered for school, and were planning on the move since it was so close to school starting.
I am now planning on a move that would be further south to be closer to my husband. Approximately 120 miles from the city of our divorce, which I beleive is what they count the mileage from? From what I can tell the law states, as well as our divorce order that I can move less than 150 miles within the state. Is there anything he can do to prevent this from happening? I know he can file for a modification in placement, which I assume he will do. 
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PhoenixRising
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I couldn't find any case law that supports your supposition that the 150mile statute should apply to the city, you divorced in.
There "seems" to be amble case law that supports that the "intent" of the 150 mile statute is the maximum distance from the other parent using existing roads.
(IE: the distance cannot be as "the crow flies" because we are not crows.)
Wisconsin law allows that your proposed move to be considered a significant change in circumstances and he would be allowed to forward a motion to reverse custody.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato
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lilmama2
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My ex had moved approximately 20 miles away from me immediately upon seperation.
Using existing roadways it is about 118 miles from my city and definitely not more than 150 miles away from him.
Maybe he could try to reverse custody, but I hardly beleive it will be reversed since I have been the primary parent and stayed home with both kids until they were in school. Maybe I'm wrong but I don't see any reason why they would take childen out of the status quo situation and from a mother that they depend on.
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Miranda
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Wisconsin is a very liberal state when it comes to custody and visitation. In fact, isn't there a presumption of joint physical custody? I think you have an uphill battle as a judge has already ruled against the move once.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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lilmama2
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No, my court order states that I have primary physical placement.
I had already mentioned to the GAL as well as my lawyer about how ridiculous it is that the CP can move up to 150 miles away, but can't move to another state and have the same visitation schedule with either move. Both the GAL and my lawyer, of course, said that yes it is very stupid. I just asked my lawyer the other day and he said as long as it is within 150 miles, I can. The judge ruled against a move out of state, but I believe that is because everybody assumed I would just remain in the same town against my will.
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lilmama2
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I would also like to add that I think it is very unfair that the NCP can move pretty much anywhere that he wants, but that the CP cannot move simply because she married and had children with the wrong person. In my opinion that would interfere with a constitutional right to have the freedom to move.
It is not interfering with his visitation. Currently, he has every other weekend and one night during the week, which my daughter always fights. No matter if I moved 120 miles away or 300 he would still have every other weekend and an additional time of 6 weeks in the summer. Time in which he could learn how to be the primary parent, which as the GAL stated in his report, he has never been so far.
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PhoenixRising
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"In my opinion that would interfere with a constitutional right to have the freedom to move."
Both you and your ex are allowed to live anywhere you want; it is your constitutional right.
However, moving children away from their parent is subject to Wisconsin statutes as you might just find out if you attempt to move 140miles away.
As you said the expectation of the court is that you will stay put so I am assuming your judge will side with your ex if you pull the stunt that you are contemplating.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato
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lilmama2
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Moving the children away from a parent may be subject to Wisconsin statutes, but, like I said it is also subject, I believe to what is in the best interests of the children. That was determined by the GAL to remain with me even if they would be living 300 miles away, which I am only planning on moving 134 miles.
It is not a "stunt", as you call it, it is an attempt to be close to my new husband.
Either way, I am appealing this judge's decision not to allow me to move with my children. Both the GAL and my lawyer believed the decision to be unfair. On appeal this will go to the apellate court, which will judge this judge's decision not to allow them to move.
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PhoenixRising
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The Appeal route is your best option.
Moving "134 miles" to just pi$$ off this judge is not a good option and as was stated could result in a reversal of custody which in your judge's eyes; would solve everyone's problem: The ex gets to stay close to the kidlets and you would then be free to move in with new hubby.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato
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PhoenixRising
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PS:
Out of curiousity,
What is the legal basis for your appeal???
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato
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lilmama2
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I am definitely not trying to pi$$ anyone off. Are you a lawyer, by the way? I do want to live with my new hubby, but I will never willingly leave my children.
I am not a lawyer. I just know my lawyer told me after the last hearing that we can appeal the decision.
I am going to appeal, but at the same time, as long as my lawyer believes it to be okay, then I will move to be closer to my new hubby.
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lilmama2
newbie
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By the way, please tell me how you think you are so qualified to give advice on this issue?
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motorboater
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Quote:
Maybe I'm wrong but I don't see any reason why they would take childen out of the status quo situation and from a mother that they depend on.
The reasoning would boil down to your move being solely in your interests and has nothing to do with the best interests of your kids. Which, currently are not 150 (or whatever) miles away.
Not saying you'll "lose" or "win" just that's the reason to oppose the move.
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lilmama2
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Except that the kids are used to me overseeing all of their daily activities, taking them to school, preparing all meals, being sure to be home with them right after school, taking them to extracurricular activities, etc. I'm sorry....but I DO believe there is a value to a mother.
By the way my son is 11 1/2 and my daughter is 8.
Courts do prefer the status quo rather than changing the entire primary placement that I have had with them. And, as of our divorce in 2004, which my ex signed, it says that we believe the best interest to be primary physical placement with me.
Also, my WI CO states that I do not have to give him any specific notice of my move. I am planning on moving right before school starts and I can't imagine the court pulling them out of school to come back to their hometown.
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lilmama2
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So.....if I move and give the NCP a couple days notice there is not much chance of him opposing the move until it has actually taken place.....
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motorboater
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Quote:
Except that the kids are used to me overseeing all of their daily activities, taking them to school, preparing all meals, being sure to be home with them right after school, taking them to extracurricular activities, etc.
----> Right, all of which is currently working where the kids are at, not 150 miles away. "Status quo" cuts both ways.
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I'm sorry....but I DO believe there is a value to a mother.
----> Trust me, neither I nor your opposition are going to argue that there is no "value to a mother." See what you did there? Ya changed it. Just stick with what was said.
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By the way my son is 11 1/2 and my daughter is 8.
Courts do prefer the status quo rather than changing the entire primary placement that I have had with them. And, as of our divorce in 2004, which my ex signed, it says that we believe the best interest to be primary physical placement with me.
----> Well, that's your counterargument of course. However, you have still said NOTHING about the move being in the kids' interest. Because it's apparently not. The move is in YOUR interests. Keeping kids in their current town/school/etc is easily argued to be in the kids' interests.
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Also, my WI CO states that I do not have to give him any specific notice of my move. I am planning on moving right before school starts and I can't imagine the court pulling them out of school to come back to their hometown.
----> Well that's pretty sneaky of you now, isn't it? (not giving notice). Expect it to be easily shown by your opposition that you failed to give notice and moved right before school as a legal tactic to get what YOU wanted, and as proof that you don't have the kids interests at heart.
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lilmama2
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It IS in the kids best interests to remain with me, no matter where I am. That is not just my belief, but the GAL as well.
The only reason I am planning a move just before school is that I only have two weeks before school starts and I won't move them after it starts. I will give written notice and if my lawyer recommend having papers served showing him that I will.
I don't need to stick JUST with what is said. I can add to it as well. You have made it sound very clear that you are not showing much value to a mother.
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jaiye
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Reged: 10/27/05
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When You have been on the boards and go back and read you will find out that judges will do exactly what people are telling you.
There is someone on the boards now that got custody from the primary parent for just this reason. The CP moved away without proper notice and the CP is now NCP. Because of the move.
As a CP you can move anywhere you want to. You just can't take the kids away from the other parent. The same judge will retain the case and with a blatant move like you are planning you are just asking for a cutody change. If you don't know by now that lawyers will tell you anything you want to hear just so long as you keep paying the bill then you are a fool.
Also keep in mind that in an appeal the judges only look to see if there are procedural errors. If they judge has made a decision based on the evidence in front of them during trial or hearings then an appeal is not going to second guess them. Unless their dad is a horrible father then there is no way you can prove the move to be in the kids best interest.
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motorboater
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Quote:
It IS in the kids best interests to remain with me, no matter where I am. That is not just my belief, but the GAL as well.
More accurately, it is in their interests to remain with you for now, depending upon how things are going. Push the limits with move aways, instability, reducing visitation time, interference, etc and recommendations change. It's happened to THOUSANDS of moms who "knew" they would keep their kids no matter what. Again, I'm not saying you're going to lose, but you're on a path to giving the other side more ammunition.
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The only reason I am planning a move just before school is that I only have two weeks before school starts and I won't move them after it starts. I will give written notice and if my lawyer recommend having papers served showing him that I will.
If you choose to not give notice, even on your lawyer's recommendation, expect it to be used against you by your opposition.
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I don't need to stick JUST with what is said. I can add to it as well. You have made it sound very clear that you are not showing much value to a mother.
Fine, but your technique of recasting others' positions inaccurately to hopefully get an emotional, sympathetic response won't get you very far in court.
And you don't REALLY want to try to portray me as anti-mother. That's a losing battleground for you. I'm probably the most pro-mother male poster on this board. (well, not when it comes to spousal support...but SS ain't motherhood...) But parenting plans?
My own stipulations to trying to get primary custody were that I never have more that 50% of the parenting time, nor should I be allowed to move away from their current school district or mother, so that their relationship with their mother is never negatively impeded. Those were MY requests, because I want them to be close to their mother as possible. I feel guilt every day that they cannot be closer to mom than what we actually are post-divorce. I'll take them to their mother's during my parenting upon kids' request, if my daughter wakes up in my apartment as asks for mom. Mom has an open standing invitation to participate in any kid-related activity during my parenting time. And it is NOT because I enjoy being with their mom. It's because THEY enjoy it. I can honestly say I would never consider moving my kids away from their mom. If I had to move to keep working to support my kids, I'd change our plan and give up time to their mom to be in their interests while I work far away. And I do everything I can to avoid needing that far away job.
I'm just pretty hard on moms that try to take kids far from their fathers without compelling reasons. Equally hard on fathers that try to take kids far from moms.
Enabling your new marriage isn't very compelling reasoning.
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greeneyes
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Your lawyer thinks it is a good idea to basically overrule the judge? To me, that is a sign that you need a new lawyer. Not all lawyers are good at what they do.
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greeneyes
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Why can't your new husband move to where you and the kids live?
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PhoenixRising
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Are you saying that your lawyer told you that it is a good idea for you to move the children 138miles away from their father with only a couple days notice?
Are you saying that your lawyer told you that the court would not reverse placement and return the children to their father??
I am not sure if you are “mis-hearing” your attorney or if he is taking you for a ride.
What case law is he citing that supports your appeal and that supports you successfully moving 138miles away after you just lost a relocation case.
It won’t matter to the court if you put the kids in school in a new town. Your ex can file for an emergency reversal of placement. That way the kids can be moved back immediately with only missing a couple of days of school.
Then he files for a Clarification Petition, which asks your judge to clarify in writing that the purpose of the denial of relocation was the court’s desire that you continue to reside where you are. He then asks for a summary judgment (a decision not requiring a hearing because the matter has already been settled) that you be not allowed to move the children out of Podunk, Wisc without court approval.
Then you will be stuck with the choice of moving back to get your kids back or letting the reversal of placement become permanent and which time you can then exercise your constitutional right to move to Illinois.
Here are the questions germane to the issue at hand:
1. What is the legal basis for your Appeal? Appeals can only be filed if there was an error in application of the law or legal procedure. Wis. Stat. § 767.327 gives your judge total authority in his decision. There is no onus for a judge to adopt the GAL's recommendations.
2. What was the judge’s explanation for denying your request for relocation?? Those reasons will play a significant role in determining if the child/children are required to move back.
I understand that you do not think that the laws are fair to you. However, the current § 767.327 is relatively new; only adopted in 2000; based on the fact that Wisconsin promotes shared parenting. Giving overwhelming weight to the best interest of the child for you to remain in close proximity to the father.
You aren’t going to win this one and moving away is only going to further your ex’s case for reversal of placement. If your lawyer has told you different without providing you the case law to substantiate his opinion then:
Run Forest Run
PS: Motorboater is one of the fairest posters on this forum AND he has an uncanny ability to predict the outcome of many cases. He comes here to help people with no recompense. He is one of the good guys.
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato
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lilmama2
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Reged: 08/16/08
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I am planning on giving notice, I just wasn't sure if it would be just verbal or written, but most likely written notice.
Nobody has answered me. Are you a lawyer or have any real experience with WI law?
As a CP I can move away and with my kids and I happen to know personally of someone who did just that.
My lawyer does not recommend I overrule the judge. The judge ruled on me moving to Illinois. Current WI law states that a CP with primary placement can move up to 150 miles without any specific notice. It also says the courts cannot do anything about it.
My new husband happens to have a well paying job and had purchased a home for us in Illinois.
I am not even suggesting that the normal visitation plan would be disrupted. He would still have every other weekend just as it always was. AS WELL, as additional time in the Summer.
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greeneyes
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I don't have to be a lawyer to know that what you are planning to do is going to piss off the judge and that your lawyer is an idiot for telling you to defy the judge.
I think it is incredibly selfish of you to move your children away from their father in order for you to live with your new husband. It always baffles me when a parent puts their romantic life above their child(ren).
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lilmama2
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PS. I wasn't necessarily refferring to Motorboater as unfair. Just some of the replies in general and maybe more specifically to PhoenixRising.
Again, I will ask if you are a lawyer or in some direct way familiar to WI law?
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lilmama2
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I am not defying the judge. The judge only ruled on the a relocation out of state.
It might be selfish if I were only wanting to move for romantic reasons alone. I have dated this man for over 4 years and the kids adore him. I'm sorry, but I do want it all. I want to have a happy family environment. One which I have not had for my kids with me alone. No matter, how someone wants to romanticize single life. I just want a happy family life. Doing family things with my kids and my husband. Playing board games. Going camping. Watching a movie.
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lilmama2
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And....just another note. Even if I moved say, 20 miles away the current visitation would not work out exactly the way it has been.
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lilmama2
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Another thing I would like to add is that during mediation their father did come to an agreement with me for me to move with the kids. His only stipulation happened to be to reduce his Child support to nearly nothing. So it is not that he is purely opposing it for fear of staying close to his kids.
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greeneyes
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This relocation has nothing to do with the best interest of the children. It is about you. If this man were so wonderful, he wouldn't want you to move the kids away from their father - even if it is an instate move. If he were so wonderful he would offer to move to you and the kids.
You sound like you can't be alone and will do whatever it takes not to be alone - if it means putting your needs/wants above what is best for your children. That is sad.
Do your kids want to be further away from their father?? I would never want a man to move his children away from their mother to be near me. I would never want a man to move away from his children to be near me. To me, a man who would do either is not my knight in shining armor - it would be a huge redflag that the man is a selfish a$$.
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lilmama2
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You obviously know nothing about me or my husband.
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jaiye
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Oh I see. You not only wanted the move but want to be able to keep all the CS too. I hate to break it to you but when or if you do move you and you do manage to keep primany residence for your kids you will most likely find yourself paying for all of the expenses that your EX will accrue to travel back and forth for his parenting time which I am sure that was the reason he wanted a reduction of CS.
We rarely end up keeping and eating our cake at the same time. Sounds like you want your EX to just roll over and play dead for you. You think the only reason he doesn't want you to move is so he doesn't pay child support but what does it say about you and new hubby that you aren't willing to concede anything on the point of child support in order to make a home with this WONDERFUL new husband.. Sounds greedy to me.
You simply can't have it both ways.
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lilmama2
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That is not what the GAL suggested in his report. He said we should share expenses of traveling.
By the way, since when should fathers stop supporting their children?
OMG! You people really don't know anything do you?
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greeneyes
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I have an ex who puts his needs/desires above our child. Especially when it comes to his romantic life.
From what you have posted, you sound a lot like my ex.
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motorboater
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Quote:
Another thing I would like to add is that during mediation their father did come to an agreement with me for me to move with the kids. His only stipulation happened to be to reduce his Child support to nearly nothing. So it is not that he is purely opposing it for fear of staying close to his kids.
You know what I don't like about this? Because if he opposes the move, you claim he doesn't have the kids' interests in mind. And if he encourages the move, its proof that he doesn't want to stay close to his kids.
Can't win, in your estimation of him.
What exactly could he do without providing "proof" to you that he's not in it for his kids?
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greeneyes
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Why should your ex pay travel expenses when you are the one choosing to move?
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lilmama2
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I was willing to reduce the child support to cover transportation costs. He was the one who wanted it reduced beyond that.
He even told me that I was not willing to compromise on what was really important.....money. Even though I was willing to reduce the child support to cover transportation. Don't judge when you don't know the exact amount.
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lilmama2
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If he encouraged the move it wouldn't be "proof" to me that he doesn't want to stay close to his kids.
Like I said, we did have agreement all set up in mediation that we were both happy with. He cornered me afterwards and came out with it being about the money.
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motorboater
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Okay, so although he initially agreed to the move in mediation, you believe he does want to still be with his kids as much as he is today, right? AND he wants to not pay more transportation costs due to your move. AND while he's at it, reduce CS $. Right?
Just trying to assess what's going on here before gracing you with any further opinions :-)
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lilmama2
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He want to be with his kids as much as before. We had the same arrangement in place with every other weekend plus over half the summer. He wanted me to cover transportation costs, which I was willing to do, plus he wanted it lowered beyond that.
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greeneyes
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Maybe when he thought about it, he realized it wasn't what he really wanted. Do you blame him for not wanting the kids to be further away? How would you feel if he had primary custody and he moved the kids away from you??
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lilmama2
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No, its not "well maybe when he thought about it", because he just reiterated it to me last week.
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motorboater
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So then you're saying that your fine with tweaking the parenting plan so that he doesn't lose out on time (because it does sound like six extra hours in the car every visit)?...Give him an extra day or two every month or something like that to make up for his "lost" parenting time.
And if you renegotiate CS $ more in his favor, he won't oppose the move, you'll get exactly what you want, and you'll be with your new wonderful husband who can easily cover the loss of CS $ with his great job?
So all this consternation is about how to not take a dent to your pocketbook that, truth be told, you can afford?
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greeneyes
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"he just reiterated it to me last week"
**Huh?
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lilmama2
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Yes, I am fine with tweaking his visitation. I was willing to let him have the kids 3/4 of the summer.
No, I cannot afford it that much. And, besides, they are his kids, so shouldn't he want to support them a little? Yes, my husband makes a decent living, but I guarantee my ex makes more than that.
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lilmama2
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He just told me that again last week. That it was all about money.
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greeneyes
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Has he not been supporting them in the past?
What benefits do you think your kids get out of this move?
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greeneyes
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For him it is about money and for you it is about your need not to be alone. Why is his reasoning worse then yours?
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motorboater
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Quote:
Yes, I am fine with tweaking his visitation. I was willing to let him have the kids 3/4 of the summer.
Then you should play that card and you can likely avoid any opposition to your move.
Quote:
No, I cannot afford it that much. And, besides, they are his kids, so shouldn't he want to support them a little? Yes, my husband makes a decent living, but I guarantee my ex makes more than that.
Well, I'm skeptical. But okay, benefit of the doubt. It sounds like you have a choice between "teaching the ex a lesson about support" and "getting what you want." I know what I'd choose.
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lilmama2
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Yes, he has been supporting them in the past. It is automatically taken out of his check.
The benefits are that our kids would get to have their own room in their own home, which neither one of us can afford on our own here, living in apartments. A two-parent family with a caring father figure. And an example of how to make a marriage work...something my daughter can't even remember, since it was five years ago that we were divorced. Plus, there are more hospitals in there area where I would be able to find work. And....at the same time they still see their dad as much as before, if not more in the summer.
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greeneyes
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Uh, lots of people live in apartments and turn out just fine. Do they not have a caring father figure with their biological father? You have no idea if this marriage will work - then what are your children left with?? Wouldn't they be spending more time in a car to see their father?
You can't seem to admit this has nothing to do with your children - it is all about you and your needs/wants.
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motorboater
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Quote:
A two-parent family with a caring father figure.
Do NOT fvcking bring this up as a good reason to move away from the biofather who opposes the move. :-(
You will look utterly, and accurately, like you're trying to replace dad in the kids' lives....
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lilmama2
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Yes, lots of people live in two bedroom apartments, but I really don't think that at a certain age a boy and a girl should share a room.
The marriage will work. The only reason the marriage didn't work with my ex was that he was lying and cheating on me. And I could go on. Fortunately, though, everybody is not like that.
Uh....sorry!! It is not just about my needs/wants. You do not even know me. I am a mother who was there with my son when he had childhood cancer, when my ex went off for a weekend with a girl, for the day to day stuff every mother does. It wasn't about my needs and wants when my ex coerced me into aborting our twins because he threated to just leave and never come back.
Give me a break......PLEASE!!!
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motorboater
old hand
Reged: 03/14/08
Posts: 921
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wow you played both the "cheating" and the "disease" cards all in one post. all we need is some "abuse" and we'd have the holy trinity of excuses to justify whatever you want.
Okay. I'm not going to delete that nor apologize for it though I suppose I should to be the kind of person I want to be.
But you do realize that your motivations are sketchy and if your story doesn't sell well here, it's likely to go even worse against opposing counsel, right?
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greeneyes
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/08
Posts: 2847
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Then have your new husband move to you and then you can buy a house or a bigger apartment. Why has Mr. Wonderful not offered to move to you and the kids so the kids aren't further away from their father? Or does he want to replace dad??
Do you not realize that 2nd marriages have a higher divorce rate then 1st marriages? But, I guess you have a crystal ball and know that this marriage will work - LOL.
You don't want to be alone. I can understand not wanting to be alone or even being mad at ex for his past stupidity but that doesn't justify what you are going to do. Your ex has a right to be near his children.
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lilmama2
newbie
Reged: 08/16/08
Posts: 46
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My motivation is not at all sketchy and I am not trying to sell anything to anyone cause you don't know me or the whole situation.
I am done posting on this topic as you are pretty much obviously all idiots.
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greeneyes
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/08
Posts: 2847
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How is anyone supposed to know you or the whole situation? All we have to go by are your posts.
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motorboater
old hand
Reged: 03/14/08
Posts: 921
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I suppose I am an idiot to be trying to help you out when I should be helping your ex.
Hey, you're the one with an explicitly "pro-father" male judge, likely with kids of his own. And you're trying to go explicitly AGAINST his wishes to move your kids 150 miles away from their dad, without notification, for your love life, and for kids to have an "improved" male role model in their lives, and you don't want to budge on CS $ either.
Yeah. Good luck with that.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6484
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Did she just admit to killing two children so her ex wouldn't leave her and he did anyway ? Wow. Yeah.....we'll be sure not to think that you MIGHT not put your wants above the best interests of your kids.
People haven't responded to your post to pick on you. You asked for an opinion on your planned course of action. You got it. Move if you want, just don't complain if it comes back to bite you in the backside.
And, for the record, no......I am not a WI divorce attorney here to give you free legal advice.
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PhoenixRising
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/05/07
Posts: 3681
Loc: New York
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In answer to the essential question of WHY did the judge deny her plan to relocate; the OP said that it was because the judge "thought" that by denying her relocation plan; she would not move away from the child's father.
She is mad at the judge and is going to move to "almost" the maximum distance away from the ex; just to pi$$ off the judge.
Her ex will use the change in circumstances as the basis to bring forward another request for a reversal of placement.
The final decision for this mess will rest in the hands of the judge, whom she worked so hard to annoy..
Isn't there a website that posts stories about people who shoot themselves in the foot?
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Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. --Plato
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BeckaLeigh
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/08/05
Posts: 6875
Loc: Texas
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I have to put my .02 in here. She mentioned moving right before school so that the judge won't expect her to uproot the kids from their NEW school to come back to their old one. I want to say, in my case, the judge changed custody in January while our daughter was enrolled in the same school she had been in for 1 and a half school years, to be put in our local school 200+ miles away. So, don't think that will have any sway with a judge.
As for why these ppl are able to give you such GOOD advice?? We have been there, done that and have the T-shirt to prove it. We have sat in the courtroom for weeks and months, not only going through our battles, but everyone else's in the room on those days. So, if you want to brush the advice you recieved here off? You can. I realize no one told you what you wanted to hear. And hopefully, if you are a much better parent than your X, you will keep custody. But, going to court is like going to the casino. You never know what you are going to walk out with.
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I tried being normal once. Worst five minutes of my life.
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Relayer
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 03/13/07
Posts: 9506
Loc: Moorglade Mover
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Quote:
I am from Wisconsin and married a man from Illinois. I went through the proper channels and sent 60 day notice via certified mail to ncp that I was planning on moving. He objected, of course. The first hearing was with the court commissioner and she ordered that I could move. My ex wanted it to be heard in front of a judge. The judge was very biased towards fathers and I don't beleive he even read the GAL report which recommended the move to be in the best interest of the children. The judge ordered that I could not move.
My husband and I have a house in Illinois, had the kids registered for school, and were planning on the move since it was so close to school starting.
I am now planning on a move that would be further south to be closer to my husband. Approximately 120 miles from the city of our divorce, which I beleive is what they count the mileage from? From what I can tell the law states, as well as our divorce order that I can move less than 150 miles within the state. Is there anything he can do to prevent this from happening? I know he can file for a modification in placement, which I assume he will do.
What cant you understand about a judges order? It's binding and you cant move 9well, you could but there would the a custody change).
If this happened less than 30 days ago, you can appeal but good luck.
If the 30 days have past, there is no debate or advice or anything else. You have you CO.
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GO CUBBIES!!!!
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7139
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None of us (with the exception of one) on this board are lawyers, however many of us have had extensive experience dealing with custody and court issues. I DO live in WI and you are fighting an uphill battle. First of all I have never heard of a judge in this state over turning a GAL reccomondation or a CC decision so there must be more to the story than you are telling. "If" your lawyer told you to go ahead with the move I can only guess that he figures once you are there the childrens father will give up the fight and you will "win" by default. If he doesn't give up however there is a very good chance that you "will" lose custody and if it's the same judge who already issued a ruling you are going to do nothing but piss him off . I also have to say that not giving your x the specifics of the move until as you put it "It's too late" could end up with you having supervised visits as it makes you a risk to hiding the children. The" too late" thing is BS anyway. You have to give him notice and he could have an injunction to bar you from taking the kids and registering them in school. As of right now HE has a CO on his side. Not you. Yyou have to give notice even if it's an in state move with in the guidelines. Even then he has a chance to object and could win if it changes the CO's parenting time one bit. Meaning if he would have to give up mid week visits in exchange for time some place else he could still object and would have valid reason. You are very right when you say WI doesn't like to change status quo, but they WILL if neccessary. Relocating across state lines not only without a CO in your favor but one AGAINST the move is certainly grounds for changing the status quo.
As for the kids best interests, there are no cities in Southern WI that are so bad the children are in grave danger living in them, a parent in WI has to pretty much murder one of their own children to be considered unfit to be a CP so what is it that makes this move in the childrens best interest? (Not yours, theirs) IMO it's damn irresponsible to marry someone and make all these plans before consulting the person your children share DNA with. You HAD to know he'd fight. Why did you get married before getting your ducks in a row?
BTW, PR hasn't been rude to you at all, and I have never seen her not be right on the money in her advice. Don't come here and expect hand holding. If you want honest opinions you'll get them, if you don't then it's probably not the right place for you. You have an attorney for legal advice. That's not what these boards are for and they offer a disclaimer stating that. This is simply advice based on each persons own experiences, but you'd have to surmise that if most of the people are on the same track with their opinions there has to be something to it.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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mommyof9
old hand
Reged: 10/04/08
Posts: 1176
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For the record, Lily, the people responding to your post are the GOOD ones, not the ones who are harassing the other threads.
What gives them a right to offer advice if they'r not attorneys? EXPERIENCE, personal research, and YOU asked. If you only want advice from attorneys you're at the wrong site. Go pay $150/hr and get your advice.
In response to your "judges preferring status quo" comment. You are absolutely right. However, "status quo" would include you not moving in with a new husband 134 miles away. It is a risky move and very well could result in your ex being awarded custody.
I'd probably give it a try, personally, because I agree with the benefits to the kids. Just be prepared that you may not be able to move AND keep your kids.
Good luck!
PS. Do you have an update for us? I hope it's all going well.
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Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
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DEFather
member
Reged: 10/26/07
Posts: 157
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These Kf are also known troll posters.
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