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nolonger
enthusiast
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Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
Re: To No Longer [Re: Annie7676]
      #456113 - 09/29/08 07:08 PM

Mustang - Sorry to hijack your thread. Feel free to put the kabosh on that by posting that any time!!

Annie and Mustang - Your advice surprises me! It feels like slim pickin's being 38 in a small rural town where beards, lack of teeth and beer bellies are the norm for even 20 somethings, so I viewed this man as a chance at something workable, but I don't want it to work. Yet.

I find myself already looking forward to the once a week outings and wishing for more. Then again, that's just why I went out with him in the first place - to stop myself from jumping into something serious so soon.

Yet I cannot deny chemistry. This was something I did not count on as I did not view him (physically) as my ideal male, but my ideal male (let's see over 6' tall and 220 lbs of pure muscle) does not seem to exist no matter where in the country I live!!! I also did not expect to have so much in common and to find him to be such a decent human being.

OK. Thanks for your advice, I'll proceed with caution knowing that long distance is still good for now, better than nothing, yet better than 1/2 the man I might find nearby.

When it's workin' it's working. Right? Can't deny that.


Mustang - how will you cope? Seeing her as friends sounds like a big huge whoops-I-wasn't-prepared-now-you're-pregnant waiting to happen. Why are you ending it if your advice to me was to go ahead??? Travel time is travel time, whether it's 1,2 or 3 hours - it's still not the same as living in the same community with the option for future marriage or whatever.


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mustang66
journeyman


Reged: 03/26/06
Posts: 91
Re: To No Longer [Re: nolonger]
      #456125 - 09/29/08 07:21 PM

Nolonger,
I am OK with a hijacked thread now and again!
As to your question about why I ended it.
She was miserable being apart for weeks at a time, she has small children that she raises by herself, deadbeat dad...
She was trying to tell me that she didn't want to go on this way, she couldn't do it, so I had to break my own heart and tell her that we should stop seeeing each other.
I didn't want to do it but I couldn't take her being miserable and I felt guilty knowing that I was far away when she needed me to be there for her.
After 2 days, my ex got wind of it and told me we could work something out so I could move, told my girlfriend and she was lukewarm to the idea of making my relationship with my kids long distance, even though I would have the same visitation time, and told me that she would have to do some soul searching to find out what she wants to do.
Ok with that but I am waiting for her to call me and tell me to come back to her, but in the meantime, she wants to remain friends.
I don't know if I can be, like the Lobo song from years ago, "I love you too much to ever start liking you".
And that's where I'm at now, couldn't take seeing her date, it would be too hard to take knowing that I was hers once and due to circumstance, I had lost her.


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nolonger
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Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
Re: To No Longer [Re: mustang66]
      #456157 - 09/29/08 08:37 PM

Aww! Let love live. Time will tell. What's the urgency anyway? I know it's all romantic and stuff to fall in love again and remarry, but that just reaks of codependency, ya no? Nuthin better than gettin to know yourself in tough times and being on your own for a while. That is just the reason I resist ANY relationship now and for a good while. I just wanna be my own self and survive knowing I got what it takes. It's been a longer while for you, tho, maybe you're both ready and too independent to take the plunge again? That's not bad to acknowledge either, ya know?

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johnson27
Pooh-Bah
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Reged: 07/31/08
Posts: 2435
Re: To No Longer [Re: nolonger]
      #456308 - 09/30/08 09:49 AM

http://ezinearticles.com/?Long-Distance-Relationship---Advice-on-Dos-and-Donts&id=83590

--------------------
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.


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