2stressed2rest
recently joined
Reged: 09/25/08
Posts: 6
Loc: Virginia
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I filed paperwork last Monday for support, custody of our son and alimony at the courthouse. HE (being my unfortunate current husband) remains to live in my apartment due to the fact that he had to co-sign on the lease. I can't evict him out, he refuses to pay a penny towards our rent, utilities or even OUR son's expenses. I ask him to buy our son diapers and his response is 'No you golddigger!' Oh and just an fyi I make $20k more a year then him, he's been in college on and off for 7 years now...with not even an associates degree. SO now the evil comes in....he's threatened harm to my dogs, he has rifled thru my personal documents (which have been moved now), he has seen an attorney and is threatening to go after me for spousal support!! I am a nervous wreck, I hate to fight if I do anything to him-he hurts my dogs. I have to get them out of the apt. and all this being said our poor 3 year totally stuck in the middle of it! What can I do that I haven't already done, he tries to hold all the cards while he's sponging off me living rent free! HELP I need and want all the advice I can get on the subject. If anyone has been in a similar situation, what is my next step? I have a consult with an attorney soon, but I can't even pay my bills let alone a lawyer!!
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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If you make more money than he does, I wouldn't hold my breath for alimony. He is correct that he is more likely to get SS.
I'd find out if in your state, division of assetts is based on when you file, when you seperate, or when the divorce is final. If it doesn't start yet, I'd be putting those diapers, utilities etc on a credit card.......at least then stbx gets stuck with half the debt. That should help free up some cash for your lawyer...which is a priority right now.
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2stressed2rest
recently joined
Reged: 09/25/08
Posts: 6
Loc: Virginia
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Shoot I hope for my benefit he doesn't get SS, I've been supporting him and my son for 3 years now. He has been on and off unemployed for years now, my salary barely pays my rent. He has ruined my credit as well, my priority is retaining a lawyer for I feel he definitely has one. He has damaged himself for court by emailing me stating that no funds will be given to me for our son or towards rent, utilities etc....that all communication is to be halted-only one phone call a day is sufficient enuf for discussion of our son. Not only that but he works at night, he neglects our son by 'watching' him during the day while I work. A sheriff found our son wandering outside while he slept unaware that he had opened the door and left the apt. So in my favor??! To show that he is a neglectful father financially and physically!
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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I'm not trying to be a downer, but I don't see that the email serves much of a purpose. Until you get a temporary order for support, I don't think he can get in trouble legally for not contributing to the household.
I'm not sure how the negligence claim would work either.....it seems to me that it could work against you also. If your stbx works nights, he needs to sleep at some point, yet you have made no other arrangements for someone to watch him. I think it would be different if you had him in daycare and your stbx pulled him out of it so he could watch him, or if you could show that you are home in time for stbx to get 8 hours of sleep then before he has to go to work.
I'm hoping that someone more knowledgable than I pipes up here with some words of wisdom. Even with the dog issue.....if they are already in a safe place and he can't hurt them, I don't know if you can still get a restraining order against him. I think it would be a he said/she said thing.
You really need a lawyer quick !
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mommyof9
old hand
Reged: 10/04/08
Posts: 1176
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The email WILL show the judge what a loser your STBX is and that he doesn't care about your child's well being at all. He will quickly be identified as a "deadbeat dad" and pretty much screwed in court... unless there are things about YOU that haven't been mentioned that could damage YOUR case.
FINZ is a genius! Start putting what you can on a credit card so that he is at least responsible for half. Document EVERYTHING. Email communications are great. Every email I send my ex has a purpose. Every statement, every word in those emails has an even greater purpose.
Prepare for the worst... hope for the best.
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Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
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IAFather
journeyman
Reged: 10/29/07
Posts: 74
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TP
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mommyof9
old hand
Reged: 10/04/08
Posts: 1176
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FINZ, I think he just called you a troll poster!
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Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
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INPadre
newbie
Reged: 10/29/07
Posts: 43
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TP
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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Quote:
FINZ, I think he just called you a troll poster!
Yeah, I've been insulted by the forum whackoo........boo hoo
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KYFather
journeyman
Reged: 10/30/07
Posts: 57
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TP
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6453
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Dude...I'm not short or hairy.......although I do live near a bridge
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StupidWomen
enthusiast
Reged: 09/21/07
Posts: 201
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OT
TP
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Stupid Women should be gagged!
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FIRMFraud
newbie
Reged: 10/08/08
Posts: 41
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The above is a known TURP poster
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UTFather
journeyman
Reged: 10/09/08
Posts: 58
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This is a troll poster.
AWP
TP
PT
OT
CC
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FIRMFraud
newbie
Reged: 10/08/08
Posts: 41
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UTFather is a known TURP poster
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COFather
member
Reged: 10/26/07
Posts: 130
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OT
TP
Kf
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misskryss
member
Reged: 10/09/08
Posts: 138
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Well if you get a report from the sherrif it can work in favor for you. While you do have to live with the a hole...you arent eligable for day care assistance right? Ok. So what are you supposed to do. He assumed responcibility for the child. The child is 3. If you spend like 20 bucks baby proofing your house the child should be fine to wander the apartment. I worked FT and went FT to college...sooo....I know you have to sleep. But if i needed help I would either suck it up and stay up....your a parent get over the fact you need 8 hours of sleep it aint gonna happen til the child moves the hell out.
The emails will def show the judge INTENT to default on any future orders. IE...a non cooperative dead beat dad...like the idiots youll see copy and paste here.
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