onelastbreath
newbie
Reged: 06/18/05
Posts: 39
Loc: NOLA
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I have post in different areas of the boards here. But my new question is: What would cause the removal of our children from my home? I am the primary custodial parent, and my ex believes that he can get the reversal. He has a new home now, and he thinks this is all he needs. He is trying to say that because of the guy I dated, and he thinks that I am still with, has a Class C conviction when he was about 21 years old for destruction of property. He violated parole, and he served 18mos for that violation. This was over 10 years ago. Regardless, I am no longer in that relationship. So, he thinks he has something on me. None of his documentation states anything on the neglect of our children. I mean, does he have to prove this as well? I am no where near an unfit mother. What gives?My money is tight to keep going back and forth to court. Can I sue him for attorney's fees? He also has two harassment complaints, and a criminal trespass from it. He is also in contempt for not sigining the quit claim deed to the home, and he has of yet to ensure my half of the 401K monies. So, he is in contempt. He is suing me for contempt for missing two visitations, and the alleged 'male friend's' in the home. The male 'friends' or were my family whom I evacuated from hurricaine Katrina. So, what is the motive here? I am so in terrible sorts. Since this, he has had his EOW, prior to this, he has had three refusals, and still does not speak with me unless it is insults. HELP!!!! 
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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He's just trying to scare you....and doesn't have a leg to stand on. If there was REALLY a problem with abuse or neglect, he would have had CPS in your home before you could turn around.
Yes, his repeated contempt and harassment, plus his returning you to court could likely result in his paying of your attorney's fees.
I would get back in court ASAP and ask for a stop to be put to this nonsense. I can't imagine how hard this time has been for your children.
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onelastbreath
newbie
Reged: 06/18/05
Posts: 39
Loc: NOLA
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Thanks, it is tiring for all of us. He is fueled by anger. He is saying horrible things to me, trying to get me on tape, etc. But I just keep smiling...even smiling some more.
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Renee
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 4022
Loc: The Palmetto State
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If I recall correctly, you mentioned in a different post that your attorney said that he had no grounds to take the children and not to worry about it. LISTEN to your attorney on this, because after what you've posted about your situation, you're going to be okay. Your ex is just being an idiot. Keep being a good mom and take care of your life.
I know its hard to ignore someone when they seem to be hell bent on making you miserable. Unfortunately you can't control him - if you could you would've morphed him into Super Hubby and Captain Dad when you were still married, right? Well, if you couldn't straighten him out then hon, you're not going to be able to do it now. Please try to put him in a "mental" box in your head and close the lid tight. Let the attorney deal with him and his hysteria, thats what you're paying him for. Live your life, take care of your kids and keep moving towards the future.
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onelastbreath
newbie
Reged: 06/18/05
Posts: 39
Loc: NOLA
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thanks Renee, I will try and remember that.
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onelastbreath
newbie
Reged: 06/18/05
Posts: 39
Loc: NOLA
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oh yeah, after him finding out about my ex, during his visitation this weekend my nine year old told me he was asking her about my ex. His statements were: 'we have to have a long talk, now I know "David" called you his sister and your mom "Mommie," that guy your mom dated was a criminal and I want to know if she is still seeing him. Tell me the truth, I hate liars.' My precious little girl said, 'No, I cannot remember the last time we ever saw him, and by the way, if you have more questions like this, then you will need to ask my mom because I dont know.' She said he took a toy away from her. Then later on, he was taking my youngest, five year old a bath. My nine year old told him that 'mom let's "Timmy" take his own baths, he is a big boy, he can do it.' His response to her, "Mind your own business!' I was so saddened by this, but I am most venurable when it comes to the children. How dare he put this in her mind. How dare he!!!!
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MaryWhoCares
old hand
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 983
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How old are the children? I ask because depending on their ages, a court can in fact take children from a healthy home and allow them to live in a unhealthy home...simply cause of their wants. Seen it myself! Family courts are very scary.........
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Mary
When life hands you lemons, you make lemonaide!
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onelastbreath
newbie
Reged: 06/18/05
Posts: 39
Loc: NOLA
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the daughter is nine, and son five years. I just dont understand. I mean, he is truly in contempt. Why me? Why this? Our kids have been through enough.
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onelastbreath
newbie
Reged: 06/18/05
Posts: 39
Loc: NOLA
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I really think he has not fully understood what can happen him taking me to court can result in. I donot know if his attorney is telling him anything. I am terrified. The first time in my life being terrified. I too have seen judges find for the father even if he is abusing the children. I dont think he is afraid. He wants me to pay for child support. I am thinking of all the reasons he is doing this. I was told he is grasping at straws, trying to find something. Anything. he should be ashamed of himself. this is hard on the children, my daughter even said to me, it would be a big mistake mom, if the judge did this, he is not a very good judge. Oh, she seem stronger than me at this point.
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onedaddy
recently joined
Reged: 01/09/06
Posts: 19
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Do Not worry!
In our situation, BM decided she wanted SF to be the kids new father. She filed false charges and had DH arrested. She then used it to ask for supervised visitation for DH and the the judge allowed it to go to trial and GAL and evaluator came into play. She continued filing false charges with the police and CPS. 1 not guilty, 2 not guilty, 1 closed unfounded, 2 closed unfounded, not credible,
We fought with everything we had to keep DH's good name and the kids in his life. I started digging, SF had 21 arrests, 5+ year in prison 2 separate house arrests, 4 marriage...all this for domestic violence, assaults, arson and DH's truck was mysteriously blown up. Evaluation came back and BM was severely sociopathic, BPD and Anti-Social PD and extremely deceptive and she coaches the kids to lie about DH. She never took them to a dentist, they were failing in school and missed too many days, they weren't taken to their court ordered therapy or speech therapy all this and more. 2 long years later the court only made a temporary order for a change in residential custody and that is because BM decided to have SF arrested for DV because he emailed us he wanted ot divorce her. She testified that he never hit her and she wasn't honest with the police, which I believe. Exactly a week after she filed these charges against SF she had SD lie to CPS that we left her alone with an elderly sick family menber and he molested her which was completely made up and we proved yet again. She used this to try and distract the judge from her having SFG arrested, getting an OP against him and the they were back together the next day. The judge was fuming and only then did she do this temp custody change We couldn't afford to go on anymore so we were forced to give 50/50. After all she had done,all we had paper proof, CPS did not want to hear it, the judge allowed it to go on and on for 2 years and $150,000, she never really lost custody. It is still a very biased system, so I wouldn't worry one bit.
It is very,very ahrd to take kids away from there primary caregiver, from their mother. Stop communicating with your DH, or at the very least keep all communication on paper and get a good nights sleep
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