keytwoenlighten
recently joined
Reged: 11/23/05
Posts: 7
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hello,
I just registered and have some questions on a mothers rights. I had twin sons out of wedlock...the father soon after left us for another women...anyway we are now married and i was told that in the state of nc an unmarried mother has sole custody of their child but i can't find any websites to proove that information. My husband is not from this country and I plan to move to his country with him and of course my babies. do i have rights to do that b/c we were never married. what does sole custody really entale. if i do have sole custody what rights does that give me. i've contacted lawyers and they all want money just to answer this simple question for me. could someone tell me where to get this info for nc. is the info the same for all states and if so where do i get that? i've been searching and searching and am getting very frustrated lol. Thanks for your time!
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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Unless and until a court orders otherwise. That means that you are their only parent in the eyes of the court. However, what will you tell them years down the line when they want to know about their father and you never kept in contact with him? You are entitled to some support from him, and in the same light is entitled to see his sons. But both of those issues would need to go before the courts. And...just because you don't file for support, doesn't mean he won't later file for visitation rights. If he finds that you're moving, he could file for those rights AND to block you from moving with the kids before you leave. He could also file just after you leave and the state might order you to return. Or he could file for visits after you leave and the court may require you pay the travel expenses since you were the one to move.
You have to figure out if any of those scenarios are likely...IF he'd actually want to see his kids anytime soon. And you'd have to figure out how you will deal with your sons at a later date when they start asking about their dad.
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Char Fox
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keytwoenlighten
recently joined
Reged: 11/23/05
Posts: 7
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He does pay support. My husband is in the military and has 2 months of leave a year where we plan to come back to the states so i can see my family. i would of course allow him to see them then. they would know who their bio father is its not right of me to keep that from them and i never planned to. i just want to move on with my life. so the question is do i have sole custody and what does that entale by nc law...where/how can i find this info without speaking to a lawyer cuz they all want to charge for a simple answer to a question. please get back to me asap. :confused:
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Does their father currently have any parenting time with them?
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keytwoenlighten
recently joined
Reged: 11/23/05
Posts: 7
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he did...but i have recently moved to nc and he hasnt seen them. for a while he just came over and saw them at my place cuz he didnt really have a safe enviornment to bring them now he has his own place and before i moved he was spending time with them yes.
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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There has to be an order charging him to pay support. And likely, it also gives him visitation. IOW, it acknowledges he is the father, a parent, and whether or not you can move will then depend upon your state's laws.
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Char Fox
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Rebecca5
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Is it court ordered time, or something the two of you agreed upon? Does he have a stable environment to offer them? How old are they and how long ago did you move to NC?
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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If that time was court ordered, he could, should he decide to pursue it, file contempt on you for interfering with his court ordered visitation by leaving the state. He may or may not get anywhere with it. But it's not a risk I'd take.
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Char Fox
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keytwoenlighten
recently joined
Reged: 11/23/05
Posts: 7
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the visitation was not court ordered and he agreed to me moving out of the state. so now what????
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Rebecca5
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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I looked around a little, and there appears to be no law governing non-married parents. What I *did* find states that the mother is "usually" the custodian, and that moves are often granted in NC when the custodial parent is moving to join their spouse.
If their father wants to fight their move, he can. I would notify him in writing of your intended move including dates/times/location and give him no less than 30 days to respond. I would also include some kind of plan for him to see the boys, at your expense. THEN, I would get something in writing from him that states he is aware they are moving out of the country and agrees to the parenting time agreement you have presented.
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keytwoenlighten
recently joined
Reged: 11/23/05
Posts: 7
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where did you find that information? i would love to read it...all of the places you looked would be soooo great!!!!!
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keytwoenlighten
recently joined
Reged: 11/23/05
Posts: 7
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can you tell me where you got all of this wonderful info...i want to read it and print it out....all of the sights that you've visited would be sooooo appreciated...i have looked so hard and found nothing thanks so much!!!!!!please right back soon
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Sorry...I had to go to work for a little while. I'll look again in a bit and post the info.
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Rebecca5
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 11697
Loc: Down home.
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Okay....so you have about a dozen issues that you have to address. It's fairly complicated, and REALLY should be discussed with an attorney.
1. Your children were removed from their original state of birth. Without knowing how long you've lived in NC, I'm assuming you have met the residency requirements necessary to be governed by NC laws.
2. Is he on their birth certificate? THIS is important because is NC, a child must be "legitimized" before there can be any legal action taken.
http://www.ncga.state.nc.us/enactedlegislation/statutes/html/bychapter/chapter_49.html
Article 2.
Legitimation of Illegitimate Children.
§ 49‑10. Legitimation.
The putative father of any child born out of wedlock, whether such father resides in North Carolina or not, may apply by a verified written petition, filed in a special proceeding in the superior court of the county in which the putative father resides or in the superior court of the county in which the child resides, praying that such child be declared legitimate. The mother, if living, and the child shall be necessary parties to the proceeding, and the full names of the father, mother and the child shall be set out in the petition. A certified copy of a certificate of birth of the child shall be attached to the petition. If it appears to the court that the petitioner is the father of the child, the court may thereupon declare and pronounce the child legitimated; and the full names of the father, mother and the child shall be set out in the court order decreeing legitimation of the child. The clerk of the court shall record the order in the record of orders and decrees and it shall be cross‑ indexed under the name of the father as plaintiff or petitioner on the plaintiff's side of the cross‑index, and under the name of the mother, and the child as defendants or respondents on the defendants' side of the cross‑index. (Code, s. 39; Rev., s. 263; C.S., s. 277; 1947, c. 663, s. 1; 1971, c. 154; 1977, c. 83, s. 1.)
§ 49‑11. Effects of legitimation.
The effect of legitimation under G.S. 49‑10 shall be to impose upon the father and mother all of the lawful parental privileges and rights, as well as all of the obligations which parents owe to their lawful issue, and to the same extent as if said child had been born in wedlock, and to entitle such child by succession, inheritance or distribution, to take real and personal property by, through, and from his or her father and mother as if such child had been born in lawful wedlock. In case of death and intestacy, the real and personal estate of such child shall descend and be distributed according to the Intestate Succession Act as if he had been born in lawful wedlock. (Code, s. 40; Rev., s. 264; C.S., s. 278; 1955, c. 540, s. 2; 1959, c. 879, s. 10; 1963, c. 1131.)
3. Without the aforementioned action, nothing can be done by him. However, he CAN begin a complaint AFTER you move. If that were to happen, you would have to appear in an NC court, or give testimony in a local court. It IS possible that you would be required to return the children to the US.
4. IF you move without given him "reasonable notice," you can be found guilty under the "Parental Kidnapping Prevention Act." See.....you don't really HAVE to notify him, if he's not on their BC or hasn't been legally recognized as their father. BUT....if you don't tell him and he DOES file something in court...it could be very, very bad.
These are some of the resources I used earlier.....it's a lot of reading:
http://www.divorceadvice.com/result.cfm?faqcategory=Child%20Custody
http://www.divorceadvice.com/laws.cfm
Plus the one at the top. You need to contact someone locally (circuit clerk, probably) and ask what their standard is for notification.
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keytwoenlighten
recently joined
Reged: 11/23/05
Posts: 7
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he is on their bc and he does know that i may have to move out of the country cuz he knows my husband is in the military...he just doesnt know he is in the military in another country so the fact that he is aleardy aware that we may have to move out of country may be a benifit to me. he is the type of man that doesnt take much action with anything...its easier to not do anything. the only time he does something is if someone starts if for him or he is nagged so much that he does it just so the person will shut up. so as far as him taking legal action i'm not really worried. i will tell him (give him notice in accordance to what the state says) but he makes to much to get legal aid and not enough to hire an attorney so that may work in my favor too...he has known to be violent too but i never filed any reports....also since the cs hearing he has switched jobs and its making close to 3 times what he was making...i dont believe he has let the courts know. is that a requirement. he doesnt have it taken directly out of his check he goes to the clerk every 2 wks and pays themdirectly. so i'm not sure if he told them about his changes...is that against the law????? be honest and tell me from the info i gave you...knowing about the cs thing...do i have leverage to use against him if he trys anything???? or does him not reporting the increase in wages not a big deal??? i mean i got up with these children by myself everynight since they were born,,,i fed them,,,i bathed them,,,i did everything while he slept in the bed right next to me....i brought them into the room and fed,changed and took care of them and never once did he offer to help (cuz he worked all day) what about me...i was home with them for 10 months...i worked every day too not just 8 hours but 24/7...doesnt that mean anything to a court? sorry i'm venting i'm just very emotional about all of this in no way shape or form am i taking any of this out on you. thanks for your help...any more advice you have for me would be greatly appreciated or even words of encouragement!!!!
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marcelo
recently joined
Reged: 05/16/06
Posts: 19
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If someone could please help! If a child born out od wedlock and the father is on the birth certificate does that make him ligitimized or does the father have to file for ligitimization proceeding? Does any one know where I can find this information???
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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From that point, he could only be contested as the father, or contest it himself. If the mother or father either request a paternity test. And they generally only have a couple of years in which to do that.
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Char Fox
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raldun
recently joined
Reged: 01/15/07
Posts: 1
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Hello, I am new to the Forum, but in desperated need of advice. My ex has not paid child support but maybe a few times, he owe's me alot. My problem is I live in Colorado and I know that Visitation/Child Support do not go hand and hand, but I do not let my son go with his dad for other reasons, ie, Does drugs/no permanent housing/jail etc. Where can I find a lawyer Pro Bono (I am currently getting ready to go through another Divorce effective yesterday). I am so overwhelmed with all need some good help............
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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
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For your current divorce, you may qualify for help through your local Legal Aid Society. With past due CS, you can contact your county's CSE office usually through your local DHHR. As for the visitation, unless he files contempt against you for withholding visitation, I wouldn't worry about it. If he files contempt, be sure to have all your proof to show the drug problem, no housing and jailing. The most that would happen is the judge will slap you on the hand (so-to-speak), if you can't prove all that. If you can, he may institute a break-in period for your ex to get to know his child before normal visits resume, or have your ex subject to supervised visits.
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Char Fox
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