finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6495
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[quote][quote]Nothing you have described is DV.
Do you have a courrt order barring your D12 from entering your home ? If not, then a court order was not broken when your daughter entered your home (with the code that , presumably, you gave her !)
Is the divorce final ? If not, why don't you go to the marital home and get your stuff ? [/quote]
I didn't say it was domestic violence. It's domestic abuse. I did go to the marital home to get my stuff. It's no longer there! That was the question - what do I do about that?
Truth is, I asked that question 3 abuse incidents ago. I've got bigger problems now and stuff is just stuff. I can let that go.
For now, though, I refuse to live my life with constant (twice daily) harassing text messages and emails that require simple yes or no answers that are filled with hate and rage not only against me, but my mother, brother, dad, sister. Sure, a simple answer would be to ignore it and for the most part I do. But when the problem is trying to schedule Christmas visitation, I am forced to read through all that crap just to be able to negotiate the holiday! I should not have to do that. Especially when this man has previously threatened to drown me in a toilet - a crime a man up here was recently convicted for killing his wife. I take verbal assaults very seriously. I'm sure the dead wife was previously threatened verbally and no one took her seriously either.
I wish society would get their head out of their asses. [/quote]
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The point is..........you are complaining , in this......the DV/DA forum, about your 12 yo daughter entering your home with the code you gave her........that is not DA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he can be in your driveway to pick up the kids without violating the RO........he didn't enter your home, your daughter did....to get her stuff......hence no violation.
We are paying attention to the question at hand. You don't seem to like the answers so you are trying to blame forum members for not "getting it." We get it just fine......it seems that you do not.
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JBGuud
member
Reged: 10/15/07
Posts: 171
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Beware:
This is a known femin azi.
This is a known troll poster.
Therefore, whatever she states should be regarded with caution and suspect due to her repeated lies, misinformation and posts in multiple names along with just being an "icky" type subhuman.
Domestic violence: Not Always One Sided
Mention of domestic violence immediately brings to mind an intimidating male batterer. But a 2007 article shows that the problem — also called intimate partner violence — is often more complicated and may involve both women and men as perpetrators.
Nearly 11,000 men and women, a representative sample of the American population ages 18 to 28, participated in a national survey. They were asked the following questions about their most important recent sexual or romantic relationship:
How often in the past year have you threatened your partner with violence, pushed him or her, or thrown something at him or her that could hurt, and how often has your partner done that to you?
How often in the past year have you hit, slapped, or kicked your partner, and how often has your partner done that to you?
If there has been any violence in your relationship, how often has either partner suffered an injury, such as a sprain, bruise, or cut?
Almost 25% of the people surveyed — 28% of women and 19% of men — said there was some violence in their relationship. Women admitted perpetrating more violence (25% versus 11%) as well as being victimized more by violence (19% versus 16%) than men did. According to both men and women, 50% of this violence was reciprocal, that is, involved both parties, and in those cases the woman was more likely to have been the first to strike.
Violence was more frequent when both partners were involved, and so was injury — to either partner. In these relationships, men were more likely than women to inflict injury (29% versus 19%).
When the violence was one-sided, both women and men said that women were the perpetrators about 70% of the time. Men were more likely to be injured in reciprocally violent relationships (25%) than were women when the violence was one-sided (20%).
That means both men and women agreed that men were not more responsible than women for intimate partner violence. The findings cannot be explained by men's being ashamed to admit hitting women, because women agreed with men on this point.
The authors say they have no intention of minimizing the very real problem of serious domestic violence — the classic male batterer. The survey did not cover the use of knives, guns, choking, or burning, and it was not concerned with the kind of situation that can drive a woman to seek shelter outside the home. The view of the authors is that most intimate partner violence should not be equated with severe battering. Domestic disputes that turn physical because of retaliation and escalation do not have the same causes or the same consequences as male battering. Couples counseling is generally regarded as ineffective for batterers, but if the violence is moderate and the injuries are minor, both partners are involved, and they want to stay together, it makes sense for a therapist to work with both of them.
Whitaker DJ, et al. "Differences in Frequency of Violence and Reported Injury between Relationships with Reciprocal and Nonreciprocal Intimate Partner Violence," American Journal of Public Health (May 2007): Vol. 97, No. 5, pp. 941–47.
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nolonger
enthusiast
Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
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[quote][quote][quote]Nothing you have described is DV.
Do you have a courrt order barring your D12 from entering your home ? If not, then a court order was not broken when your daughter entered your home (with the code that , presumably, you gave her !)
Is the divorce final ? If not, why don't you go to the marital home and get your stuff ? [/quote]
I didn't say it was domestic violence. It's domestic abuse. I did go to the marital home to get my stuff. It's no longer there! That was the question - what do I do about that?
Truth is, I asked that question 3 abuse incidents ago. I've got bigger problems now and stuff is just stuff. I can let that go.
For now, though, I refuse to live my life with constant (twice daily) harassing text messages and emails that require simple yes or no answers that are filled with hate and rage not only against me, but my mother, brother, dad, sister. Sure, a simple answer would be to ignore it and for the most part I do. But when the problem is trying to schedule Christmas visitation, I am forced to read through all that crap just to be able to negotiate the holiday! I should not have to do that. Especially when this man has previously threatened to drown me in a toilet - a crime a man up here was recently convicted for killing his wife. I take verbal assaults very seriously. I'm sure the dead wife was previously threatened verbally and no one took her seriously either.
I wish society would get their head out of their asses. [/quote]
*********************************************************
The point is..........you are complaining , in this......the DV/DA forum, about your 12 yo daughter entering your home with the code you gave her........that is not DA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he can be in your driveway to pick up the kids without violating the RO........he didn't enter your home, your daughter did....to get her stuff......hence no violation.
We are paying attention to the question at hand. You don't seem to like the answers so you are trying to blame forum members for not "getting it." We get it just fine......it seems that you do not. [/quote]
There is an RO in the court order banning either of us from going to or even driving by the other's home.
HE VIOLATED THE COURT ORDER. NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE OR BELIEVE ME.
I HAVE AGAIN RECEIVE THREATENING AND HARASSING EMAILS AND TEXTS FROM HIM THREE TIMES TODAY.
HIS LAWYER WILL SOON BE THE 2ND ONE OF HIS TO FIRE HIM AS A CLIENT FOR BEING NON-COMPLIANT AND ABUSIVE NOT ONLY TO ME BUT TO THEM AS WELL.
THIS IS NOT ABOUT ME BEING A SOCIETAL PAIN IN THE ASS.
THIS IS ABOUT A MAN WHO VIOLATES A COURT ORDER AND GETS AWAY WITH IT TIME AND TIME AGAIN.
AND WHY????
Because of attitudes like those on this ignorant board.
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IMissThem2
journeyman
Reged: 10/07/07
Posts: 79
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Stop drinking and go to bed...
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nolonger
enthusiast
Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
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[quote]Stop drinking and go to bed... [/quote]
I am not drinking. I'm going to wake up at 7 and lift weights like I did 3 other times this week. What about you?
Your post is simply more insult to injury. What are you thinking posting such a rediculous reply?
I am scratching my head with the all of this. I asked a simple question and suddenly I am the poster child of those who cry abuse.
If I end up dead, or my kids end up hurt. Some of the blood is on yours and the rest of society's hands.
People like you who not only don't take verbal threats seriously, but mock the innocent victims of abuse more mild than news-worthy are responsible for the lack of help available to those who are smart enough to recognize they are potentially the next news worthy victim.
No matter, I have you in my prayers that you are enlightened and that there is some relief from the obvious strife in your life that provokes you to bother the innocent victims of domestic abuse.
I knew I couldn't hold my tongue...I have a problem with injustice, but this being my own thread, I feel I have the right to correct the uninformed and guide them to the right path.
I still think most on this board are divorced people with real problems that for years they project onto others, but that doesn't mean I can't keep them in my prayers.
Jesus specialized in socializing with the unsociable.
Forgive me for being angry earlier. I forgive you for being completely ignorant and decided that if this simple question is getting attention like this, then I must use it to educate those who are not aware.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6495
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Nolonger...you need to motion the court (or call the police) each time he violates the RO
We are just saying that you will be better served reporting actual violations, like the threatening emails of today, than the incident which you described in your OP of the thread....where your daughter entered your home.
I understand that you felt violated by that, but everyone here is trying to tell you that a court will not agree that he violated the RO there by asking your daughter to go in and retreive her belongings.
That doesn't mean that no one believes that he is a creep who has pulled a lot of crap. In this one incident, he acted appropriately and you have overreacted.
I think you would be able to get better advice on the other issues if you devoted a new thread to something specific, like............ the CO says xyz and today he did "z".....what should I do next ?
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EOP
journeyman
Reged: 08/23/07
Posts: 73
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Beware:
This is a known femin azi.
This is a known troll poster.
Therefore, whatever she states should be regarded with caution and suspect due to her repeated lies, misinformation and posts in multiple names along with just being an "icky" type subhuman.
--------------------
Epitome of Perfection (EOP)
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8148
Loc: This Asylum --->
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Forgive E ric - he couldn't make a friend if he milked a bull.
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IHatefPIGS
member
Reged: 08/25/07
Posts: 189
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Can't you come up with your own thoughts? Why must you steal from us?
Enjoying your single malt from your blood money, homosexual activist?
Cute how other's learn a new word and want the world to know something that they don't. Guess what? It's in the dictionary and available for all so don't bother copyrighting it...
Sheesh! PIGS. Spend more time reading Reader's Digest as opposed to plagerizing the Onion.
Beware:
This is a known femin azi.
This is a known and admitted, homosexual activist.
This is a known troll poster.
Therefore, whatever she states should be regarded with caution and suspect due to her repeated lies, misinformation and posts in multiple names along with just being an "icky" type subhuman.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8148
Loc: This Asylum --->
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E ric, stealing from you would be like dipping a bucket into a dry well.
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