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Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 279
Post-holiday reflections
      #480163 - 12/01/08 02:17 PM

Hello again all! I hope everyone had a peaceful Thanksgiving and had some people/things in each one of your lives to be thankful for.

Thanks to everyone who commented last week on my earlier post. It may bear repeating that this "sounding" board is a huge help in making it through one of the darkest periods of life (my life, at least). I agree with what everyone said and I guess feeling lonely doesn't come only with divorce, but with many things that occur during life. Who knows? If we could only rub a crystal ball and know what was going to be ahead, I wonder how many of us would make different choices -- probably few of us -- because we are, indeed, the products of all our good and even not-so-good decisions.

I stopped at a bookstore over the weekend to pick up a book dealing with grief (and, hopefully, with some sound suggestions as to how to resolve it). Haven't read anything lately in the way of self-help books and figured it couldn't hurt with the Christmas season fast approaching.

Anyone find any particular reading material that was really helpful? I've read lots of books in the past, but haven't really looked at one for probably a year now. Might be time to approach a resolution and get on with living the life I do have -- not the one I wanted to have! Hope so, at least.

Anyway, hope everyone is doing well. Take care, bacall

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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 2030
Loc: MO Ozarks
Re: Post-holiday reflections [Re: bacall]
      #480909 - 12/02/08 10:31 PM

Bacall, this may sound somewhat counter-intuitive but one of the books that brought me the greatest of comfort was, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." I read it with an eye towards what I had done for 25 years that contributed to the end of the marriage. It ultimately led me to believe that I was fixable. I made some resolutions as a result and life has been ever so much better since.

You can't control your ex, especially not now. All you do have control over is you. Use it to become the best "you" you can be and all the rest will fall into place over time.

Happy Holidays!

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
Re: Post-holiday reflections [Re: bacall]
      #481391 - 12/03/08 10:14 PM

Bacall, I read Dr Schelsessingers (I cannot spell her name to save myself) "10 Stupid Things Women Do to Screw Up Their Lives." It was entertaining and pulled no punches. I found myslef in that book. Well not on every page but at times I cringed when faced with the rediculousness I continued to exert on my life.

Then I read Janet Evanovich's book "One for the Money". Then "Two for the Dough". She is now up to #14. She is so funny I wet myself laughing. And I found laughing until you cry is so healing and comforting. I found myself exhausted with laughing so much. Tears of laughter streamed down my face and I HAD to smile more.

Laughter may be the best medicine I found. To laugh at life's absurdities and the stupid things people do.

I certainly didn't end up with the life I wanted. I ended up with something better.

Happy Holidays and keep warm!

If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem

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Reged: 10/05/07
Posts: 144
Re: Post-holiday reflections [Re: bacall]
      #482070 - 12/05/08 07:13 AM

HI Bacall,

I'm looking for something good to read myself. Maybe not in the 'self help' mode but just a good book.

If you'd like a good 'chick-lit' type of author, Jane Green has a couple of good books out. The two that I read that I really enjoyed were "The Beach House" and "Second Chance". Check out the reviews, etc. on Amazon and see if they might appeal to you.

Regarding feeling lonely. I'm going through a stage now where I feel that way often. Living alone with no one to come home to, take care of or chat with can be tough at times. I always have the tv or radio on to keep me company when at home and try my best to keep busy and have as much people contact as possible. When the kids are home from college the lonliness evaporates. Guess I'm going through Empty Nest Syndrome...

In any case, you sound like you're moving ahead and ready to make some positive changes. Just acknowledging that it might be the right time to live the life you DO have, rather wishing for the life you DID have, is definitely a move in the right direction!

Good luck :).


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recently joined

Reged: 12/10/08
Posts: 12
Re: Post-holiday reflections [Re: Liz2]
      #484422 - 12/11/08 03:59 PM

we've all been there, hope you find a good read to cheer you up!

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