bestdecision
recently joined
Reged: 11/26/05
Posts: 4
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I am brand new to this forum...I have been in the divorce process for 4 years now with no end in sight. I have been constantly stalked, harassed and threatened during the entire 4 years without any helpful response from anyone. I am afraid that I will be a statistic soon, and then everyone will say, oh yeah, she was just in here complaining about her ex, I guess she was right. He has now turned this all around and has ambushed me in the parking lot of my son's Sunday school, when he approached me and threatened me again, I grabbed his arm and started yelling, because I didn't know what he was going to do next. He then went and got a PFA against ME! He is emotionally unstable, and plays games constantly, with the money, with the kids, with the custody, with the divorce, I get one lie on top of the other and can't stand it any more. Please, any advice out there? I just don't know who to turn to any more.
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DanH
journeyman
Reged: 08/23/04
Posts: 77
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Ok...
Back the trolly up a little here. How can your divorce be going on for four years? Have there been that many continuances, etc.?
With regard to being a victim/statistic:
Do you have documentation of his emotional instability? If not, you need to start doing so NOW.
If your lawyer has let this drag on for four years, I would STRONGLY consider getting new counsel.
-Dan
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Divorced with children? You need this software!
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bestdecision
recently joined
Reged: 11/26/05
Posts: 4
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yes, first his mother was dying of cancer, there was continuance after continuance and now he is appealing at every turn. I have the best ranked atty in my area and am told to look forward to another 2 years.
As for the documentation, how do you do that? I try to keep a journal and all my emails and answering machine tapes, but none of them would prove what he pulls behind the scenes.
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DanH
journeyman
Reged: 08/23/04
Posts: 77
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Wow...
That sounds just awful. With regard to documentation, it sounds as if though you are doing what you can. So your divorce will take another 2 years? Gads... I unfortunately have no sage words of advice on that. Can't your attorney claim that he is filing vexatious motions to try and slow down the process? In terms of the stalking/harassment, can you get a restraining order so that he can't come within 50 ft of you or so? I don't know... I'm grasping at straws here.
-Dan
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Divorced with children? You need this software!
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kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
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a Women's Shelter....they can lead you in the right direction..they'll walk every step of the way with you and even provide you shelter if you need to hide out...they know all the tricks and the ways around the abusive situation..they are use to dealing with this kind of spouse...
Good luck to you..
Hugs
Kim
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Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
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bestdecision
recently joined
Reged: 11/26/05
Posts: 4
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thanks for the words of encouragement....I appreciate someone listening to my crazy world for once.
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kav
old hand
Reged: 06/10/05
Posts: 816
Loc: NC
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We all have crazy worlds...and we're here to listen and hopefully help...
Kim
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Yesterday I dared to struggle. Today I dare to win.
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gailgail
recently joined
Reged: 11/28/05
Posts: 1
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Hi There,
Sorry to hear about your trouble.I have a question though.What has taken 4 years?What is the snafu?And what is he appealing?Does he still want you?Do you have any children?
Good luck, Gail
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rebeccamom
recently joined
Reged: 12/03/05
Posts: 3
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I married the same type of man. Luckily I watched him do that to his first wife so I knew I had to get some legal strength behind me to keep it from happening to me and my baby. (He's obsessed with his son from his previous marriage in an unhealthy way). I interviewed 8 lawyers until one understood my dilemna completely and was ready to strong arm him. It takes a lawyer who understands mental harrassment as well as physical, and that these men are sick. I don't know what type of legal service you are using or can afford, but I would reccomend maybe switching since it doesn't seem to have been effective. Interview a bunch of lawyers-go to the top divorce lawyer in your city. If you can't afford him/her, ask for a referal to another lawyer. Your lawyer is obviously dropping the ball.
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O2inhead
old hand
Reged: 10/11/05
Posts: 1056
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he has a protective order on you? then every time he comes near you ...call the police and tell them that he is harrassing you and braking his own protective order. Then get a protective order against him. Usually a court will granted you one and make it mutual. Then every time he brakes it you call the cops. They will get tired of the calls and hopefully push the DA to press charges.
I went through the exact samething and it works takes awhile but they can make him stop.
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