blueskies
recently joined
Reged: 12/19/08
Posts: 2
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Hello I am 26 years old. I was with my husband since i was 15 years old. We have a 3.5 year old daughter. The abuse started years ago and it just started with a push here and there and then it slowly escalted. He always broke stuff i just thought it was normal even though i wasnt raised that way. I never told anyone what was going on to embarrased. When i was pregnant he left me for someone else. I was torn apart. I remember that being the "worst" he came back and i took him back. Soon after that the abuse got much worse he was no longer just pushing me and braking things. He was ripping me out of bed by my hair and kicking me over and over again. I remember wearing sweaters in the middle of summer to hide my bruises. each time he would say he was sorry and it would never happen again and i could never even remember what i did to set him off. The past year and a half was the worst. there has been so many times he has hurt me i cant even remember them all only the big ones stick out in my mind. Last year we were arguing in the car and my daughter was in the back seat. he started punching me over and over again in my arm i remember screaming and him grabbing me by the hair and throwing my head into the window and my daughter screaming. If we were laying in bed and i said something he didnt like he would either punch me in the head or in the back of my leg as hard as he could. Last year i found out he was cheating on me and i confronted him about it. He kicked me between the legs so hard i fell to the ground i remember screamig and crawling on the ground and my daughter screaming dont hurt my mommy. Between my legs was so purple for weeks i still have problems going to the bathroom. The abuse got much worse from that point. I cried all the time but was so afraid to leave. What would he do to me. Would he kill me would he take my baby away from me? All of these things would go through my mind cosntanly i hated him so much then all of a sudden he would be so nice. Dr. Jekyl and Mr. Hyde personlity and i would be in love with him all over again. on more than one occasion he ripped me from bed by my hair and held me down on the floor by my neck and squeezed my mouth. On mothers day i was making breakfast and he came in and threw all of the pans on the floor. and screamed at me.. Some nights my daughter would come out of her room to see me on the floor with a bloody lip shaking and screaming and i would hold her in my arms telling her everything was alright. and he would come back out and i would shield her and try to protect her while he punched me.
People that have never been through this have no idea why we stay or put up with it but the abuse kills you inside makes you go on autopilot. You detach yoruself from everyone and everything. This past november i finally left. He showed up at my work which is a school and was banging on the door. I called the police and ended up getting a pfa which jsut turned into a long term pfa from me for a year. He does get to see our daughter a few times a week. I have never been happier but still there is an ounce of me that wants to go back. I am afraid. scared and know i cant. please help me. I am so afraid of being alone and so afraid of him.
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Yes_Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
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Believe me. It's better to be alone than have the snot beaten out of you.
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PAFather
recently joined
Reged: 10/08/08
Posts: 16
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Cute how you discredit without proving a person wrong.
In fact, we have read your posts. You don't even know the difference between a hole in the ground and what you represent
axxhole.
You and your ilk (fellow femin azis) would rather disrupt posts from real posters that need help than give real advice.
There are no other posters on this site, period, that know more than us jovial guys from Fathers' Integrity & Rights Movement.
You can only parrot the filth of your fellow femin azis and have no real thoughts of your own, piglet. You know. We know. Anybody that reads what you have to state can see it.
Ask anyone that is not a femin azi PIG as you are.
Beware:
This is a known liar and disrupter of posts.
This is a known bully.
This is a known femin azi.
This is a known troll poster.
Therefore, whatever she states should be regarded with caution and suspect due to her repeated lies, misinformation and posts in multiple names/genders along with just being an "icky" type subhuman.
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shortmarriage
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/07/08
Posts: 1773
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Do Not Go Back! This has been going on for years and he is not going to change. You need to take care of your daughter and yourself!
National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233)
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AUDad
newbie
Reged: 10/11/08
Posts: 46
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Cute how you discredit without proving a person wrong.
In fact, we have read your posts. You don't even know the difference between a hole in the ground and what you represent
axxhole.
You and your ilk (fellow femin azis) would rather disrupt posts from real posters that need help than give real advice.
There are no other posters on this site, period, that know more than us jovial guys from Fathers' Integrity & Rights Movement.
You can only parrot the filth of your fellow femin azis and have no real thoughts of your own, piglet. You know. We know. Anybody that reads what you have to state can see it.
Ask anyone that is not a femin azi PIG as you are.
Beware:
This is a known liar and disrupter of posts.
This is a known bully.
This is a known femin azi.
This is a known troll poster.
Therefore, whatever she states should be regarded with caution and suspect due to her repeated lies, misinformation and posts in multiple names/genders along with just being an "icky" type subhuman.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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Blueskies,
I know it must not be easy facing being independent financially and standing on your own, but you have to start someplace. The family life that includes him is not worth risking your life for.
Romanticly, I'm sure it must feel strange to consider loving another man if this is the only man you have ever been with......but love is not supposed to be like this guy is treating you. Hopefully, there will be the right guy someday
You need to find the strength to stay away from that abuser, both for yourself and your daughter. I'd hate to think of him striking her too........or that she would "learn" this is how women are treated and settle for a similar jerk someday
Please call a domestic abuse hotline and get the support that you need to stay away from this creep !
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AUDad
newbie
Reged: 10/11/08
Posts: 46
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TP
Cute how you discredit without proving a person wrong.
In fact, we have read your posts. You don't even know the difference between a hole in the ground and what you represent
axxhole.
You and your ilk (fellow femin azis) would rather disrupt posts from real posters that need help than give real advice.
There are no other posters on this site, period, that know more than us jovial guys from Fathers' Integrity & Rights Movement.
You can only parrot the filth of your fellow femin azis and have no real thoughts of your own, piglet. You know. We know. Anybody that reads what you have to state can see it.
Ask anyone that is not a femin azi PIG as you are.
Beware:
This is a known liar and disrupter of posts.
This is a known bully.
This is a known femin azi.
This is a known troll poster.
Therefore, whatever she states should be regarded with caution and suspect due to her repeated lies, misinformation and posts in multiple names/genders along with just being an "icky" type subhuman.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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Oh, and just so you know about PAFather, ....that poster has been banned before, but he just keeps on signing up under new screennames. He is the local resident wacko, extremist mens' rights activist, and pedophile . You can out him ignore by clicking on his name.....a new screen comes up where you can click on "ignore this poster." If you see a crazy post from someone with Father, Padre, or Dad as part of their name, it's probably him. Put them all on ignore.
Yes Dad, gr8dad, and googledad are a few with similar sounding names to the crazy, but they are all normal (well, relatively =-) )
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AUDad
newbie
Reged: 10/11/08
Posts: 46
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TP (troll poster)
Cute how you discredit without proving a person wrong.
In fact, we have read your posts. You don't even know the difference between a hole in the ground and what you represent
axxhole.
You and your ilk (fellow femin azis) would rather disrupt posts from real posters that need help than give real advice.
There are no other posters on this site, period, that know more than us jovial guys from Fathers' Integrity & Rights Movement.
You can only parrot the filth of your fellow femin azis and have no real thoughts of your own, piglet. You know. We know. Anybody that reads what you have to state can see it.
Ask anyone that is not a femin azi PIG as you are.
Beware:
This is a known liar and disrupter of posts.
This is a known bully.
This is a known femin azi.
This is a known troll poster.
Therefore, whatever she states should be regarded with caution and suspect due to her repeated lies, misinformation and posts in multiple names/genders along with just being an "icky" type subhuman.
|
blueskies
recently joined
Reged: 12/19/08
Posts: 2
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I want to thank everyone who has replied to my post. The past month has been very hard on me and my daughter. Not to mention the emotional strain it has put on my entire family. My parents are so angry not at me just at everything that has happened to me. My daighter started hitting me and punching me a few months ago and told me she does it because daddy does it. She asked santa for her family back. The PFA hearing we had was last week and it dragged on for 6 hours (which is unheard of for a PFA) He lied about everything and said that i was the one with the mood swings. I ended up with a PFA for one year but he still gets to see our daughter on monday and wednesday nights until 8 and then on Friday he has her until saturday. She always comes back hating me and my parents. I am starting counseling at the domestic violence center next week. My daughter is seeing a childrens psycologist next week as well. One thing is that I am actually happy not scared about coming home. It is a wonderful feeling that i dont have to worry about every day. I am still scared when i go to work or to the store always checking behind me and try not to go places at night. My husband was never there for us he always had other things to do. Go to the bar or what ever he wanted and never helped me with our daughter. Now all of a sudden he wants joint custody and every time she goes there they do something differnt each time. "super dad syndrome". It is horrible that it makes me so angry that now he wants to be a dad when he never wanted to before? I feel like he is telling our daughter horrible things because of the way she acts when she gets home. I am currently living at my parents house which is not easy at times but the support is wonderful. I have a few friends that i still talk to. My main support is actually my boss at work who went through something similiar and has been a wonderful friend and support system. I have my good days and bad. Some days i just want to cry all day and i play everything over and over again in my mind. IT reminds me why i left. The feeling of being alone is horrible but will never hurt as bad as the physical, mental and verbal abuse i endured every day. People ask all of the time "why did you stay so long?" I dont know you become accustomed to it, you feel like you deserved it, that it was just a part of life. Now looking at that sentance i think wow! How could i have done this to myself for so long. How did i let my daughter witness this abuse. I still dont know. I was so afraid to leave. I thank everyone for the support. I am hear to listen to other peoples stories and learn as much as i can. I also need the support not to go back and become strong enough that i wont ever put myself in that situation again. I need to focus on my daughter and myselfs recovery. Please help!
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