Eric
old hand
Reged: 05/30/04
Posts: 807
Loc: USA
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You said he is now paying steady. How much?
Guess what? Most of the expenses you mentioned, are "LIFESTYLE."
Why should you tell the ex what to spend so that you and the new wife get the "credit" for HIS money?!
Why should divorced people have less rights than intact marriages? Why can intact marriages spend what they want on lifestyle and NCP's can't? Why do you want this money? Jealous of the past? Want to save your own money for your own selfish needs?
Did I ever mention that I was about to buy my girlfriend's 11 year old daughter (now 13) a super cool motorbike? Yeppers, I sure was. Do you know what the girlfriend's ex did? He bought it and told the daughter that it is mine (so that I control the usage of the motorbike) since the daughter lives with us and the son lives with the father.
It's called working together. Wouldn't you be bitter if some dude had more contact with your children than you? Of COURSE you would.
Start treating others as you would like to be treated... That is how child support becomes moot... Listen to that, read it, savour it. It truly is gospel. Statisticaly there is no better support of ESP (Equal Shared Parenting).
Ready to push equaulity?
Join FIRM.
Welcome home to...FIRM,
Eric
www.FIRMncp.com
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Equality is not a difficult concept
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walstib
recently joined
Reged: 12/02/04
Posts: 9
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Support orders in IL are to be reviewed every 3 years; I’m don’t know why hers has not been. She can get it reviewed and modified.
Plum, who is responsible for initiating review of support orders? Are support orders the same as the marital settlement agreement? The child support terms are defined in wife's marital settlement agreement.
You and she also need to know what CS is for. It is the NCP’s contribution (note it’s not full payment) to the basic needs of the child. For example, the kid/s theoretical portion of the house, the heat, the water, the food; the kid/s clothing and medical. It is not for cable tv, cell phones, computers, gymnastics, or prom dresses. The CP is to contribute to the basics as well.
So if I'm trying to figure out what's fair...There are four of us in the family. The kids are half of the family. Do I divide my utility bills, mortgage, groceries, etc. in half to determine child expenses? Of that number, the mother should pay half and the father should pay half?
If the CP decides to spend money on extra things like cell phones or computers, it is the CP’s decision and expense. The CP may ask the NCP to help out, if they have a working relationship. But the NCP is not required to pay for extras outside of CS. This usually includes sports, as well.
Sometimes, depending upon the judge and the lawyers, the CP may ask for and receive an order that includes contributions to extracurricular activities or for orthodontia.
In the meantime, the appliances and the state of your bathroom are not the law’s concern. You and your wife are expected to work out your own finances. Once again, you knew she had kids when you married her – what would you have done if the NCP had died?
According to the marital settlement agreement, wife would've collected 40K LI policy.
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aussie928
old hand
Reged: 10/29/04
Posts: 969
Loc: Dallas
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yes Sir Eric your Firm is so big..not to be confused with that wee little thing you have.. that is why people are here for advise.. put down the sauce for a wee bit mate.. you are giving me a headache..
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walstib
recently joined
Reged: 12/02/04
Posts: 9
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Eric,
The father has been paying $300 a month. Wife says he told her he grossed around $40K last year. Their marital settlement agreement indicates father shall contribute 25% of net income. Together, the wife and I grossed 68K last year.
I am a fair person. I'm not trying to wring blood from a turnip. Part of my problem is I don't know what his expenses are and he hasn't explained or shown us why he can't contribute more.
I'm gonna go take a look at your FIRM
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Plum
enthusiast
Reged: 10/04/04
Posts: 218
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So far as I know, the support review can be initiated by IL (as if they have the time), the CP, or the NCP.
No, you do not add up your pennies and bills and divide by four and multiply by two and charge the NCP half of that. The state of IL has come up with an income formula that only considers the income of the NCP and takes a set percentage from it for CS. There's your amount, work within it. Period.
Here's what you really don't seem to understand in full: the children are the "wins" in many divorces. They even call it "winning custody." To get custody is to win. To keep custody is to win. To get child support is a win. If a parent doesn't want the control and custody and care of the kid/s, the other parent probably does.
Usually the CP DOES spend more on the kid/s -- because the CP is in charge of them, spends more time with them, lives with them, etc. In some ways, this is the cost (pun intended) of winning custody. Because if the CP doesn't WANT to spend the money on the kid/s....they can always give custody to the NCP. That's always an option. Or adoption to a family member, or to a stranger. Or leave 'em at a bus station....are you getting my point?
I'm not a lawyer, and not terribly familiar with IL particulars, so I don't know for sure that the "child support order" is contained within the "marital settlement papers." I would imagine that if the papers say NCP pays $$XX, then that's the portion of the divorce that is the CS order. And that's the modifiable part.
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Lawyers rule the U.S.; I am not one of them.
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aussie928
old hand
Reged: 10/29/04
Posts: 969
Loc: Dallas
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" Besides, your appliances are your problem, not the ex's." g'day mate ...this is why you dont want to try and talk to Eric. He has no clue. Of course the appliances arent the exs problem...but the fact is..if you werent having to pay things the father should be paying you would have money for the appliances. To Eric every dime of child support any woman gets is paying every bill she has and and will ever have.
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Plum
enthusiast
Reged: 10/04/04
Posts: 218
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I'm going to lay this one down gently, stepdad:
You have NO legal right, whatsoever, to the knowledge of the father's expenses or his explanations.
There is no legal "WE" here that includes you. It's just the bio-parents. If your wife doesn't care to fight it, you can't fight it for her.
IL has a percentage of the NCP income CS calculation. That's it. His expenses don't matter one whit. Neither do yours, neither do your wife's. He makes X and the CS takes Y percent of X. If he can't live on it, he can get another job. If your wife and kids can't live on it, she can get another job. THAT'S IT. There ARE NO further explanations or calculations.
In general, if he is paying $300, your wife is expected to be providing $300 as well to the care of the children. I'd think $600/month would be fine. So would a lot of other people.
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Lawyers rule the U.S.; I am not one of them.
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Gecko
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/01/04
Posts: 19801
Loc: Third rock from the sun
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Okay...you definatley have some issues that need to be addressed.
First of all, since no one seems to have been keeping any sort of records, and the terms of the Decee, that ya'll start the new year with a clean slate. Meaning that as of January 01st, 2005, the ex starts paying his 25% of $40k net income (which is approximately $625 a month) in return for no arrearages. If he doesn't want to agree, then you tell him that he can deal with the courts and since the "records" are such a mess, chances are he could end up with THOUSANDS of dollars in arrearages with no recourse.
Additionally, you will present him with a copy of the children's uninsured health related expenses when applicable and will expect payment within 30 days. Again, if he doesn't like it, you will let the courts handle it and he could end up owing THOUSANDS of dollars.
If he threatens to "disappear", remind him that in today's technological age, it's impossible. The law would catch up with him and he could end up in jail...his choice.
If he threatens to "kill himself"...offer to purchase the rope, but let him know that his children would most certainly miss him.
As for your wife's spending habits...I suggest you get your pants back from her. There is no reason why you can't call the cell phone company and downsize the "plan", kids don't need cell phones, but most likely you're on a "contract" so you're stuck until the "year" (or two) is up and then you can cancel it. In the meantime, downsize the "plan" for that phone to the minimum and lock it up.
If she buys something on "credit"...send it back and take away her credit cards. If your applicances are in that bad a shape, then you can't afford "private lessons". Unless her car is a death trap...tough.
If she doesn't like the fact that you're wearing the pants, let her know that she can always leave and find another pair.
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If you air your dirty linen in public, expect people to comment on the skid marks!
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walstib
recently joined
Reged: 12/02/04
Posts: 9
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We're trying to do this amicably, without judges, lawyers, and court appearances. The wife's divorce papers specifically state that both parents are required to provide each other with: employer information, W-2 and all other income forms, and copies of tax returns upon filing. How else is wife supposed to know what ex's support payments should be? I want her to obtain that information from her ex so she can confirm whether he's being honest or not.
And I do see you point regarding winning custody.
Thanks again.
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walstib
recently joined
Reged: 12/02/04
Posts: 9
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Thanks for the advice everyone. It helps.
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