sadinwi
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 15
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So, long story trying to be short.
My husband is a CPT in the WI NG. I physically saw him have sex with the S3 in his unit who is a LT and works for him on Dec 12. After that, him and I are working on a legal seperation. He is deploying in May for a year to Iraq, with this girl. He moved out a couple of weeks ago into an apartment. Last night I got a phone call from a friend who saw him and her shopping at walmart together. I went to the apartment and caught them there, alone, together. Drinking, making dinner, and she brought over movies for them to watch. All three of the above was admitted. Needless to say, many words were exchanged. She left scared to death and called their Battalion Commander herself to say she was alone with Cpt Dick and that his wife came and is threatening to ruin their careers. The BC then called my husband to say they needed to talk first thing Tuesday (they have Monday off for President's Day.) I also have confirmation in my cell phone in conversation with my husband last night of him having sex with her and what happened last night. NOW, I know I'm angry and need to think things through before I attempt to ruin both of their military lives, but can anyone tell me what would happen if I reported all of this? He is an AGR soldier. She is and has been on ADSW orders for many months now working literally 5 feet away from him all day every day. Would he loose his AGR tour? Would her orders be canceled? Would they both still MOB together in May? Would they stay in the same unit? Can anyone tell me what would happen in this situation?
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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There is no question he is wrong, and should be removed from any leadership positions. But what do you want to accomplish. Do you want to hurt his career, do you want revenge. You have to think long and hard because if all of that happens, where does that leave you. I know it sucks, but you have to protect yourself, and him losing his job does not help that issue at all. You pushing it will result in some action, it may not be enough for you, or it may be more than you actually want. The bottom line is that once you start down this road, you will not be in control of it.
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sadinwi
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 15
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I need someone to tell me what will actually happen to him/her. I do want to hurt his career. He should not be an officer over other people.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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You want to do this regardless of the impact on you or your children, if you have any??????
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sadinwi
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 15
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I didn't say I wanted to do it. I asked what would happen to them if I did.
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shortmarriage
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/07/08
Posts: 1773
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Actually, you did...
"I do want to hurt his career."
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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It is just not that simple. it could range from a letter of reprimand to him being removed from AGR status or being discharged totally, and anywhere in between. Once the ball is rolling it is up to some different people. No one can say exactly what will happen. Once you start it, be prepared for the worst. I have seen the same thing a few times, whether it is Domestic violence or adultery. The spouse initiates an action, and when it comes time to bring the hammer down, they then ask for a light punishment because the loss of rank or money hurts the family as well. People do not always take that approach. When adminisitering a punishment. It is literally impossible what to say when it comes to punsihment.
I would never tell a spouse not to report domestic violence or adultery because of the consequences, I would say be prepared for consequences you did not intend or may not like. In my personal opinion, they are both very wrong and should dealt with severely, but I do not count here, only you and your family do.
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sadinwi
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 15
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I don't see how I can sit back and allow this to have happened and allow them to get away with it. I just don't.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26686
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I understand and agree with you. He is full time right now, if he was not, how easy would it be for him to get a job, are you working, do you have children, can you afford for him to be unemployed or making less than he is now. I hate to even think about letting something like this go, but does making them pay come under the realm of protecting yourself.
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sadinwi
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 15
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I work and make good money, for now. Military contract so it could be over anytime. We have one child... I know in my head I should let it go, but he should have to pay for this!
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