Dolfinity
enthusiast
Reged: 08/19/08
Posts: 350
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Hello...
I am the custodial parent of our DS, age 5 with special needs (autism), living in the states. Ex is stationed at Ramstein. We have a mediated visitation agreement that DS will spend 7 weeks with ex in Germany this summer.
Today, ex asked me to send a notarized statement saying that DS will live with him for 6 months out of the year in order for our son to be command sponsored, even though it is not true. I have 100% physical custody. If I don't do this, they say he cannot attend day care or receive health care services while he is there, even though he has a military ID card.
Is this correct? I'm not sure how to respond to this, because if I refuse, this could mean that either our son does not receive EFMP services or on-base day care while he is there, or that he just doesn't go, which is a scenario i would like to avoid.
I don't believe it is right to falsify documents. Has anyone else run into a command sponsorship problem like this?
Thanks.
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~ Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen. ~
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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This sounds right, generally only command sponsored dependents are authorized to use certain things because of the space available. It use to be the same way with ration cards, only command sponsored personnel got them, same with housing, etc. I am willing to bet there is an exception allowed for just this circumstance. Command sponsored means a whole lot more than just some facilities though. I do believe it could mean he may not be eligible for EFMP or day care. It can vary by command and location, so without talking to someone there, it would be difficult to say exactly. You could email over there to find out exactly what is needed, or how it works, and then you will have some answers. I would try to find out before I just sent a letter granting custody.
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elliesmom
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Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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Yes, it is an issue. The military only recognizes children who live with you 6 months or more as a "member of your household." And only "household members" qualify for certain programs - such as daycare (as I believe this is an MWR sponsored thing and I know they limit themselves to household members).
Perhaps you can look at it this way. Since he presumably provides spport for your child - he in a way is partially providing your home to him. Ergo - he resides with him for at least 6 months of the year. You aren't giving him custody per se - just the government making sure that the child being served by their programs is truly a member of the household of the military.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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This is about an overseas Command Sponsored dependant. Command sponsorship is unique to overseas commands. Generally a command sponsorship incurs a longer tour in certain locations. That is the trade off, you bring the family, you stay longer. Years ago in certain parts of europe, if you had a family, you could bring them if you stayed three years, if you went unaccompanied you only had to stay 18 months. It was also used to determine if people were evern allowed to use the AFFES facilities or commissary. If you were not command sponsored you could not have military housing. In fact if you were not command sponsored, you could bring your family, but they may not be allowed to use any of the facilities, and you may only get the BAH for somewhere in the states. Things change over time. One thing about the 6 months though. It is required anywhere in order to get housing. If a service member does not have custody for the majority of the year, they are not authorized housing. even if they have a child, and have custody, the child has to spend the majority of the year with that parent in order to have housing. I know alot has changed, but there were two different classes of family members, those that were command sponsored and those that were not. The priorty for things went to command sponsored family members, and then other family members on a space available basis.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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Here is how tricare handles it:
http://www.tricare.mil/news/news.aspx?fid=220
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Miranda
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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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When I would go on leave, I would have to be careful not to stay longer than a certain amount of time, which I think was 30 days, or we would all lose command sponsorship. Totally lame...
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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And you know even if you were not obvious about it, someone would ask questions, just to "help" out :):)
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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DH was tellng me last night that they've also change the FSA. You have to be separated from your family for 30 days before you start drawing it - and every time you go on leave or take special liberty you lose it and the 30 days starts over again. They just did a change of homeport and half of the guys don't qualify to move and of course try to get home every now and then. Not anymore. The fam has to travel to see you or no FSA.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26677
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Thats how it always was for us, it was never put in before 30 days because it prevented corrections from being made. But while on a permanent assignment in a hardship area, you got it no matter what, if you were on leave, or pass.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8834
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The 30 days isn't new, but the reset every time you go on leave is what is new. Which for the guys here, who aren't TOO far away and can get home on a 3-day weekend, means they either don't get the money or they pay for their families to travel.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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