djhjvlh
recently joined
Reged: 04/10/09
Posts: 12
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The thing is i still love my wife with all my heart and i do not want to hurt her more with bringing up the past, but i need to see my son. catch 22 situation.
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Yes_Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
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Quote:
I also forgot to say she is doing this all by herself Pro Se
She is being coached, probably by a friend or her boyfriend. Few people, with little to no family court experience would know to do this. Think if she has any divorced friends. My bet is that one also had a RO issued against her ex.
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mrjtthomas
recently joined
Reged: 04/22/09
Posts: 4
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You might not like what I have to share, but, at this moment, you are going to have to be patient and level-headed. You have stated some powerful things. One, you wife is unstable; so if you love your son, you now have to be stable. Two unstable parents cannot raise a son. You have been given a moment to look inside yourself to see how much you love yourself. Once you determine that you can love yourself, you will gain the strength to move forward a day at a time. I know you are worried about your son, but you will teach him by example. If you remain a good father, nothing that the mother says about you will impact him. One day, if she spread lies, he will learn the truth, and her deceit will backfire on her. Now, if you still love your wife, you cannot be overly emotional to her. She knows she is wrong. As you stated before, the protection order is her strategy to get things under control for her advantage. She will have to surface with your son. If she is a good mother, she will be pre-occuppied with taking care her of him and finding some stability. Right now, she is in a chaotic state. She can't be worth anything to a real man at this stage. Again, if you love her, you do not want to push her to pursue the divorce, because if she fears you she might do that sensing she has no other recourse. At some point, if she is pressured, she will pursue the divorce to maintain control. She has pride whether she has engaged in an emotional or physical affair. So, you must seek stablilty in the midst of this storm. Some seek prayer during this time and religious and professional counsel. I encourage you to do the same. In many churches there are marriage counselors and support groups. In these groups, there are many women going through divorce. You will learn a lot from them and gain strength. And if you gain strength and led by example, you will win back your family if this is your heart's desire.
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Concerned_Dad
recently joined
Reged: 04/10/11
Posts: 5
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Those orders of protection really have to be stopped or at least amended. It seems to be the divorced wifes play book now that the first thing to do is obtain an O.P. Then accuse of abuse and or drugs and alcohol. I'm sure there are women out there that legitimately need an order of protection but I'm sure they are abused much more than not.
I realize that it's often difficult for anyone to prove abuse when it happens behind closed doors but it's considerably harder (especially for a husband) to prove that abuse DIDN'T happen. I mean how do you prove that something that never happened never happened.
Though I do think that judges are seeing this all the time now and they can often tell when it's all a facade. Luckily I had a great judge and he saw my ex's lies right away.
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