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Reged: 05/18/09
Posts: 1
Loc: Midwest
My Ex Son-in-Law is taking use to court June 30th
      #535909 - 05/18/09 07:28 PM

My husband & I have been an almost daily source of resources, time, money, food, shelter, and most of all LOVE and encouragement for our daughter and her son, now 11, since her divorce in 2001. After 7 years when they lived 3 blks from us, she remairried (and we're happy for her!). She moved 45 miles away, which is still not too bad. Together, She and we, have done all we can to make sure Kyle feels secure and that even tho he lives further away now, he can still see "Grammy & Papw" whenever he wants to on Mom's parenting tim. Our ex son-in-law is taking us to court now to say she cannot hshare even any of her parenting time with us, because since she "isn't using it" he should get that tiem. Last week he told her he intends to make sure Kyle never sees his grandparents again. His parents were 15-20 yrs older than my husband and me and they are both deceased...anyone every heard of a problem like this?

Kyle's Grammy

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Reged: 11/16/08
Posts: 57
Re: My Ex Son-in-Law is taking use to court June 30th [Re: SRD]
      #535966 - 05/18/09 09:37 PM

Where did this guy find a lawyer to fight this? We were just told today by our lawyer that what a parent does or who they see on THEIR time, it is their time, not the parent who does not have visitation at that time. Of course unless they can prove danger.

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/01/08
Posts: 3200
Loc: SC
Re: My Ex Son-in-Law is taking use to court June 30th [Re: SRD]
      #535991 - 05/18/09 10:47 PM

It sounds like he's asking for Right of First Refusal. He believes that anytime the kids are out of her care for x # of hours, that they should be with their father. That clause is usually put in place when one parent feels the other has abdicated their parenting role to others. He may or may not get it; your D certainly has the right to let her parents see their grandchild, but if he can *prove* you're doing more of the parenting than she is, you could have an issue.

Even if he gets ROFR, that won't cut you out of the childs life. It may however aim to restrict the amt of continuous time the child is with you. For example, if he gets ROFR that says 'if mom is unavailable for more than 6 continuous hours, child is to spend said hours with dad'. The time will be whatever the judge orders, and it will be worded better, but that is the gist of it. It will also be up to dad to *prove* if she doesn't adhere to it and lets the child stay with you, without her, over that time limit.

Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7157
Re: My Ex Son-in-Law is taking use to court June 30th [Re: javajunkiee]
      #568809 - 08/18/09 09:17 PM

ROFR usually doesn't cover time spent with family members. If mom is "availiable" and let's their GS spend the night or weekend with them then she would not be violating a ROFR. He would have to prove she is using them to babysit rather than letting the child spend time with him for it to be contempt. He'd have to prove that she wasn't home and availiable during the said time to file contempt charges. I don't think that a judge is going to say that a child can't spend the weekend with his grandparents.

When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.

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