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Reged: 06/05/09
Posts: 2
Need advice for my daughter
      #542367 - 06/05/09 10:01 AM

My daughter has been married for 17 years. She and her husband have two children, 16 and 12. She has suffered with mental illness for approximately 5 years and has been in and out of hospitals and therapy. Her husband was a good provider for about 3 years of the marriage. They have always struggled. He left his last good job to relocate the family from NJ to Florida with no prospects of work there. Within a few months of being there my daughter finally got a full time job, but her troubles with depression began again and she wound up back in the hospital after a suicide attempt. When she was released he announced he wanted a divorce and told her she had to leave and come back to NJ where she would be my responsibility. She checked herself back into a mental facility as she couldn't handle the rejection. I made the arrangements for her to come back to NJ, which she did on her release. She didn't want to leave the house or the children, but she was going downhill fast. It was too stressful for her and the children for her to be there. He was being very hurtful.

I believe he is trying to have this done the easiest way possible with her consent. But here's the catch: supposedly he's in the process of getting a great job which will pay him 6 figures. They have a lot of debt, especially medical.

He has the children and has filed for divorce. He won't let the children come up to visit her until she has been served the papers and she signs. She has been hospitalized here in NJ and since has begun a partial care program on an outpatient basis. We are trying to get her on disability so she can be covered for medical expenses, as they are piling up. She has no money and no attorney. What can we do?

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: Need advice for my daughter [Re: d7rama]
      #542459 - 06/05/09 12:14 PM

She NEEDS an attorney. I'd make a way to get one. Try Legal Aid (though you get what you pay for) least she'll have some type of representation. She can file for temporary visitation before the divorce. He has no right to refuse to allow her to see the kids until a divorce is final. They can address that issue in court without waiting for the divorce. However be prepared that he may get them to require supervised visits due to her mental condition. But she could ask that you (her parents) do the supervising and likely get that approved as well. What he MAY make will likely be of no consequence, but alimony would likely be set based on the marriage and the income therein. If she has been medically diagnosed as disabled, he MAY be on the hook for lifetime alimony, depending on the circumstances. If she's also medically ruled as mentally disabled, her consent won't mean a hill of beans for him as she may not be capable, legally, of agreeing to anything.

Char Fox

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Reged: 06/05/09
Posts: 2
Re: Need advice for my daughter [Re: almostheaven]
      #542477 - 06/05/09 12:44 PM

Thanks for your response. I tried reaching Legal Aid in the county she lived in but they close at 12:00 on Fridays. I'll try again on Monday. Disability has not been approved or even applied for here in NJ. We are doing that on Monday as well. That could take up to 3 to 5 months. If he serves her soon, she won't be approved yet. We will do what we can to have it delayed.

Thanks again.

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Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 1802
Loc: Ohio
Re: Need advice for my daughter [Re: d7rama]
      #552818 - 07/11/09 01:43 PM

Has she met the resident requirement in your state to be able to file? If so that might be a good option.
You can probably count on him to go for custody and use the reason for the hospitalizations as to why she should not, and he should, have custody.

Sorry you are in this position. When our kids suffer, we suffer too.

"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".

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Reged: 05/20/10
Posts: 9
Re: Need advice for my daughter [Re: d7rama]
      #662185 - 05/20/10 05:57 AM

shes wacko.
Keep her away from her kids before she eats them or something.

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Reged: 05/20/10
Posts: 6
Re: Need advice for my daughter [Re: shea123]
      #662202 - 05/20/10 06:12 AM

Yeah, it sounds like she could suddenly grow batwings and start eating babies! WHOLE BABIES!

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