Wallie1337
recently joined
Reged: 12/04/08
Posts: 22
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I know this is gonna sound bad, but I don't care. I am who I am...
But really? I think I can go about 2 weeks, maybe a month before I completely lose interest or find something wrong with the person/relationship. I'll meet someone, have long quality conversations, date for less than a month, and then be like "next"?
Honestly its not in the "I got some, time to move on." I am a genuine and sincere guy. Alot of people like me because of how nice I am. I treat women right, hold doors open, listen, actually carry a conversation, etc etc. And when I usually date someone, I take them on fun dates. Every time I go out, whoever I am with usually has a great time. Hence most women like me and want to keep dating for awhile. However, I just don't feel that giddyness for too long about someone.
So I am curious if I should try to stay with someone longer if we get along great or should I try to find someone that keeps the giddyness in me for longer than 2 weeks. Right now, I am dating a really nice girl... Honestly, she does alot of things right, funny, charming, sweet, can take a compliment (thank god, most girls can't?). And I can't find anything wrong? But I see the same thing happening.
So here it is in a nutshell, move on to the next interest or stay with this one longer and see if it develops even though that "butterfly gut feeling" is fading fast?
LOL
W
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3029
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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You sound like me **LOL** And I'm a girl!
When I was at this same point in my life, I did exactly the same thing. Think I liked him, had a good time, but eventually it was just......**whatever** I found that when I went through that time period in my life that I needed to simply not deal with the hassle, the effort, the getting dressed up, the make up......and just not go.
Instead of moving on to another interest outside yourself, why not make your next interest you? You didn't give a lot of info about yourself so I'm just taking a shot at this but it is eerily similar to stages in my life before now.
If you have kids, do stuff with them. If you don't, take care of your own hobbies, house remodeling, spending time with your friends and family members -- give yourself a break from dating.
You know in your heart that the **giddiness** does not exactly form the basis for a lasting relationship, it changes and evolves into something more permanent and solid. There's always room for excitement in life but when you're frantically moving from one person to another, you don't get time for you.
My STBX is similar to you in that he can't stand still, can't just BE, can't relax. He has to be going ALL THE TIME. It was exhausting for me!!!!! I couldn't keep up with him!
I have someone in my life now that I have known for fifteen years and share a lot of history with. He likes to go out and have FUN. BUT he's equally happy watching a movie if I'm tired, dining quietly instead of going out dancing and sitting on a beach reading a book while he holds my hand. He's adventurous without being in constant pursuit of SOMETHING TO DO.
Are ya getting it? Slow down, you may be moving too fast because it seems something stops you at the same point each and every time. Discover what it is -- modify your behavior if you can. And if you can't, then start looking at what YOU need from yourself -- not from others.
And, speaking strictly as a woman, I would find it ever so disappointing and be competely in the dark as to why I didn't quite measure up to your giddy standards and be put aside because the excitement wasn't always blazing.
Just my opinion......
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shortmarriage
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/07/08
Posts: 1773
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Great post, BeachBabeRN!
Hey Wallie, didn't you just post not that long ago about wanting to take a relationship to the next level- dating exclusively, having "the talk" and all that? You were into her, right? What was different about her? I'm wondering if it was the challenge, she wasn't all that considerate of you if I remember correctly?
What was your marriage like? How did your wife treat you?
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nolonger
enthusiast
Reged: 09/15/08
Posts: 305
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After two weeks of what? Just meeting? After having sex for the first time? Do you have sex after just two weeks of meeting?
My answer is no. I have lost interest after weeks and weeks of meeting, sex or no sex, but lost interest because either 1. we were obviously not connected in the same interests, or 2, we had no chance of a lasting relationship due to geographical locations.
I have not yet lost interest after two weeks of everything being fine thus far.
Your post raises red flags to me. I agree with Beachbabe - go out and truly find yourself. Your a guy, so if you need, then have sex but be careful.. Maybe have sex with a friend with benefits so you don't accumulate too many partners, just to get off but maintain some sort of manly dignity. I think after the divorce stage, it's no longer cool (or healthy in any sense of the word) for a man to have too many exes around.
Most men I know, post divorce, go thru a "getting laid" period but don't have to post a Q about lasting longer than two weeks. It's either you're getting some from someone you don't care about, or you find someone you care about and don't care about getting laid, just getting to know her deeper and continuing to a relationship. It seems to me, you've got it a bit mixed up. Find yourself. heal. Grow. Then you'll be ready to share the real you with someone who is worthy of the commitment you mention. You may find you don't want a commitment at all.
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Wallie1337
recently joined
Reged: 12/04/08
Posts: 22
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LMAO...
Oh god this is gonna sound bad.
Here are my rules
I don't lie, I don't steal, I don't cheat, I don't do drugs and I don't talk behind your back... But I will be damn sure to say whatever right in front of your face as well... LMFAO... I don't hide anything, its all out there for you to pick through.... Love Me... Hate Me... I don't care because it won't make me or break me and ~~~> I love me some ME !!!
~~ From that earlier Post ~~ Don't get me wrong, I learned alot from that relationship that I wanted to take to the next level.
To keep it short, I had a family health issue come up. And I was alone from my family for 2 months, she was the closest person at the time. So I trusted her for company & support. But it faded during that time. I think thats why I took that break up so bad. But thats over and done and I've definitely moved on...
Back to the question at hand. I work on me all the time, gym, hockey, playing with my boy, yardwork, spending time with friends, shopping, reading, holding a bar stool down, & I do work... LOL, I have a cake Govt Salary job, where I work about 4 hours a day and home by noon. (yeah I know you hate me) So I have alot of free time....
Heres the part where you hate me. I have different categories with "girls". You have possible relationship status, you have someone fun to hang out with(bars etc), you have nothing there but they are nice, and you have hook ups. Don't get me wrong, I treat all of them with respect and show them a fun time on dates. They are the ones to wanna sleep with me. But I make sure I tell/ask them this is casual or I don't want you to get too attached or what ever the "thing" is. LOL... Im honest and upfront, deal with it. This is where it gets really bad, but honestly I am charming and a bit of a flirt. Don't hate me for being able to carry a conversation while looking at a girl in the eyes, or noticing she did something different with her hair, or remembering what kind of purse she has, or complimenting her on her shoes, or watching the same movies as girls do, or enjoy shopping and looking nice. I notice things about people and try to make people feel better about themselves, because people do notice little things.... I don't do it as a "routine to get laid". I never press the sex issue. The sexual tension is fun though, keeps the dating fun and exciting. And yes, I have lost interest even without having sex with them.
Yeah yeah yeah. By the way, I have two extremely close friends that I tell everything to and get there advice. One is my EX, who I am extremely open with, and we are very good friends now. Its almost uncanny? The other is a girl, who has been down the divorce road and other "relationship roads". So its good to get there advice on interests and other dating tips. I like to call it, spying on the enemy. Just kidding,lol... But really I trust them with dating advice and its nice to see the view of an outside party with no emotions involved with my dates. Yes they think Im a man-[censored] too.
So I dunno? You know how they say, "When something exciting happens, You're the first person I wanna call and talk about it." you know? like the person you daydream about... Well I honestly do feel that way, for about a month? And then it just kinda fades, sometimes from both sides, hers and mine. Personally I think its because Im too nice? If everything is going fine and he's nice then they don't have anything to work on and it takes some of the dating fun away. Laugh at me, but Im just saying.
=.)
W
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shortmarriage
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 12/07/08
Posts: 1773
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Ok, Wallie, not to be rude, but....your posting....where's the humility?
I'm pretty sure you've posted like atleast a half dozen times about "wanting to hate you"......why?
What is that about?
I think you need a different perspective on your relationships.
BTW, what are you offering? What makes you an attractive candidate?
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26682
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Wow, I really thought maybe you were serious, and it took me a bit, but that is well written. Thats a good one. You had me going. I could not believe that someone would make themselves so unattractive/arrogant that people would hate them. That is when I realized it was just a parody, like a James Bond wannabee written by an almost author. Good one though, excellent job. It made me smile.......
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Wallie1337
recently joined
Reged: 12/04/08
Posts: 22
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LOL... you know those characters that play up the bad/vain guy role just to get a reaction. Kinda Andy Kauffman like? Thats me...
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gsabas
recently joined
Reged: 02/16/09
Posts: 24
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Wallie,
you seem to have fallen in love with yourself long back and stayed fiercely loyal.
--------------------
Ideal Gifts for all occasions: Bobblehead
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3029
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Can you say PLAYA???????
Geez, I gave an answer that I thought was a good one to a question that wasn't even asked.
If it had been phrased the way it was the second time, I'd have continued down the road, never stopping to comment.
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