Rosejol
recently joined
Reged: 08/10/09
Posts: 1
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I need some advice. My sister lives in Indiana and I live in California. She has been separated from her husband for little over a year. They have 1 child together and no paperwork has been started in regards to their divorce. They are not legally separated either. My question is this. She wants to move out here to California with me, can she do this, and not get in any trouble, since there have been no court motions in regards to their divorce, child custody or visitation. Any help would be appreciated.
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googledad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/31/05
Posts: 10207
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She can move , the child may be required to stay or return after relocation if the father petitions for custody/visitation as Indiana would retain jurisdiction over child custody for 6 months .
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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.
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4Summer
veteran
Reged: 07/14/09
Posts: 1508
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Lets flip this.
Your sister and her husband lives in Indiana and her husband has a brother that lives in California. She has been seperated from her husband for little over a year. They have one child together and no paperwork has been started in regards to their divorce. They are not legally seperated either. My question is this. Her husband wants to move out to California with his brother, can he do this, and not get in any trouble, since there have been no court motions in regards to their divorce, child custody or visitation. Any help would be appreciated.
-----------> Putting all legalities aside, how would the child feel if your sisters husband moved the child away? How would your sister feel? IT'S NOT RIGHT and it's definitely not fair to the child.
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"Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence"
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CuriousGeorge
enthusiast
Reged: 01/15/09
Posts: 216
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I really would like to see your sister pick up and move to California.... but ... whatever she does.... don't tell the daddy before she goes.
After she is gone, Daddy will go to the courthouse and file for divorce and sole custody. He will get it! The child will live with Daddy happily ever after. Personally ... I really like to see fathers win.
If your sister doesn't like that outcome, she should do a little research on children with one parent. Crimes, teen pregnancy, depression, suicide, poor grades, dropouts..... These are the kind of things every parent should expose their children to, right?
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You never know someone until you divorce them.
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Yes_Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
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Quote:
I need some advice. My sister lives in Indiana and I live in California. She has been separated from her husband for little over a year. They have 1 child together and no paperwork has been started in regards to their divorce. They are not legally separated either. My question is this. She wants to move out here to California with me, can she do this, and not get in any trouble, since there have been no court motions in regards to their divorce, child custody or visitation. Any help would be
Yes, but he can immediately file for divorce where they are living now (before she establishes residency) and might/probably will lose the kid over it if the father wants the child.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3028
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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That is not always the outcome --
I raised my two boys without the consistent presence of their father due to the nature of his employment -- he works on merchant sailing ships.
Neither of my children drink, do drugs, have gotten someone pregnant or dropped out of high school. Neither of them are on medication and neither of them need it, according to my family doctor.
Grades? OY, that's another issue -- but in this respect they tend to get slightly lazy -- like any other kid in the world.
It's not a predetermined outcome but if you have a coparenting relationship with your ex, then it requires sacrifice in order to maintain it -- YOUR sacrifice.
Kids deserve two parents -- period. Absent any other factors that are involved such as a parent NOT involving themself with their children.
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Karhalf
recently joined
Reged: 09/30/09
Posts: 7
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I think all of you have a really narrow minded view of life. And I am starting to think that people who post on here in rude ways to someone who is just asking for a personal opinion is not really the way to go, Has anyone ever heard of giving their opinion without being rude or brash to the person they are giving it to? yes this is the internet but people still are people. Just because you cant see them doesnt mean that they dont have feelings. I think that Parents should be able to take their kids and live where ever the hell they want to. If you were married and your husband or wife wanted to move to California it wouldnt be such a big deal.
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d0b0vgall2020
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 05/06/09
Posts: 1716
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right. if you were parents (as in both of them). do you not see why that would differ from taking children away from another parent so they can't BE a parent? I think you've gotten some solid advice here and if you don't relay it to your sis you're making a big mistake. it might not be what you or she wanted to hear but it's just the way it is.
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8<
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3028
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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I hate to tell you this karhalf but if I did NOT have custody of my children and my spouse wanted to move to another state where I couldn't see them routinely?
He'd be going ALONE.
I also take exception to you calling me rude -- I AM quite direct and pretty mild mannered. The OP asked for an opinion and I gave a very civilized response.
Sorry you're not getting the response you wanted to YOUR post about moving -- have we got our nose out of joint?
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CuriousGeorge
enthusiast
Reged: 01/15/09
Posts: 216
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Call me rude, I don't care. I carry the scars of having my parental relationship interfered with by a CP who could care less whether or not my children had a relationship with me. Sit where others sit for a while and you quickly learn that the rude behavior is a defense mechanism for those that have lived through some extremely painful experiences, such as having their children moved 1200 miles away without prior knowledge. If a poster suggests something that is offensive, expect a rude response. And yes - it is extremely offensive to think that someone would rip the kids from one parent because they wanted to make a different life for themselves someplace else. What gives one parent the right to do that over another parent? Selfish behavior deservers a figurative slap in the face. Many of these "rude" opinions are justified and morally correct.
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You never know someone until you divorce them.
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