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yodig
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Reged: 08/24/09
Posts: 6
Need Some Advice
      #570486 - 08/24/09 09:07 PM

I'm new to the forum, and have some questions that hopefully some of you might be able to provide some guidance on.

I'm 38, she's 37, married almost 8 years (end of September), 2 kids ages 6 and 3. She is SAHM, my base is $100K per year, with bonus potential. (Although in this economy, there will likely be no bonuses for the next few years). She had decent paying job that she left when our first child was born, making about $30K/year in the medical records field.

We live in upstate New York.

1. Any estimate as to what spousal maintenance she should (or would, if the courts decided) receive? I'm thinking four years, but don't know how much. I'd like to provide a reasonable proposal on this rather than have it decided in court.

2. I've moved into an apartment with a relative for the time being, but can't maintain two residences beyond one year. Will I be expected to do that when the divorce is final if I am doing it now?

3. I do not want to pay through the nose for legal fees. We need a separation agreement, but I'm concerned that what goes in that might be what is used in the final divorce settlement--i.e. me having to maintain two residences, for instance. Anybody have experience with DIY separation agreements?

Thanks much.


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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: Need Some Advice [Re: yodig]
      #570505 - 08/25/09 08:05 AM

You can get a mediator, attorney or even paralegal to help you with a separation agreement. Sometimes it will be in the final decree, sometimes it will get changed. But if you're putting it into an agreement, it should be something you're expecting to remain upon the final settlement. Otherwise why agree?

Typically SS is for half the marriage but it is hard to say what the amount could be. CS is based on guidelines, but I have no idea what they figure SS on.

Kinda did a double-take. Could've sworn this was someone I know in NY. Knew he was having some difficulty but didn't think he was ready to jump ship just yet. Two kids, SAHM, the whole thing. Til I noticed the age. He's 10 years older. So hope it wasn't a typo.

--------------------
Char Fox


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yodig
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Reged: 08/24/09
Posts: 6
Re: Need Some Advice [Re: almostheaven]
      #570521 - 08/25/09 09:36 AM

Quote:

You can get a mediator, attorney or even paralegal to help you with a separation agreement. Sometimes it will be in the final decree, sometimes it will get changed. But if you're putting it into an agreement, it should be something you're expecting to remain upon the final settlement. Otherwise why agree?

Typically SS is for half the marriage but it is hard to say what the amount could be. CS is based on guidelines, but I have no idea what they figure SS on.

Kinda did a double-take. Could've sworn this was someone I know in NY. Knew he was having some difficulty but didn't think he was ready to jump ship just yet. Two kids, SAHM, the whole thing. Til I noticed the age. He's 10 years older. So hope it wasn't a typo.




Thanks for the response.

At this point, I am trying to create as little chaos for my kids as possible. I certainly expect my stbx to get a job at some point so that she can be self supporting. But right now, I am trying to move this along gradually so as to not completely rock my kids' world. But you've given me something to think about. . .

No typo on the age.

Am I also responsible for paying her legal fees?


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almostheaven
Carpal \'Tunnel
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Reged: 07/13/04
Posts: 10468
Loc: West Virginia
Re: Need Some Advice [Re: yodig]
      #570697 - 08/26/09 06:32 AM

Only if a court orders it. Generally she'd have to request legal fees and a court find in her favor. Typically happens if the court feels one can't reasonably pay the fees without the other's help or when the court feels the other one created larger legal fees than necessary. But generally, each party should pay their own.

--------------------
Char Fox


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