beatdown
recently joined
Reged: 09/21/09
Posts: 2
|
|
Brief history...married 17 years, two kids 15 and 9. Wife and I are opposites, and this has finally gotten the best of both of us...no attorneys involved at this point, but we are splitting up. Wife was controlling and needy at the same time, and my personality can take it no more...
Now for the financial part. I've been the primary income earner. We moved a couple of years ago so she could leave her full-time stressful job and become full time mom. This made it worse and I'm done...
My take home is about $6,000/mo. When she did work, she never made more than $24,000/yr. She's now enrolled in college and is hoping to get a degree in a few years. But, now that she's done with me, what can I expect? We've talked briefly about buying a 4-plex, renting out two and living close to help our kids through this. I think it's a bad idea, but I can't afford 2 houses...
What can I expect for allimony, child support in this case? Will she be required to get a full-time job since she's able to work? I have a decent amount of cash in retirement accounts and annuities...is she going to get at those as well? I can provide further details if needed...I live in South Dakota.
tired of being beatdown and controlled...but now my finances and everything I've worked for are threatened...
|
Yes_Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/23/08
Posts: 7406
|
|
You are using YOUR take home per month and her yearly earnings. What are either your yearly earnings or what was her take home. You are giving net for you and gross for her.
|
beatdown
recently joined
Reged: 09/21/09
Posts: 2
|
|
My Gross is $105,000...but I also get consulting income "if" I do any consulting. My schedule C the last couple of years has shown a net income of about $28,000 per year after expenses, although this could be gone any day. I had to argue for my largest contract this year, which is $28,000 gross. This one could go away at any time.
|
CuriousGeorge
enthusiast
Reged: 01/15/09
Posts: 216
|
|
You need to do some homework on South Dakota laws. Just quickly reviewing some stuff... I would guess the following outcome - if you end up in front of a judge....
Alimony / Spousal Support - you will likely be asked to pay some amount temporarly (6-months to a year). In many states, being married more than 10-years and the fact she stays home is the basis for ordering Alimony. With your consulting work, your take home is closer to $8000 / month. Giving 10% of your take home, means alimony of about $800 a month for a year. If you want to maintain cash flow, give her $10,000 from an annuity.
Investments / Retirement - S.D. is an equitable distribution state. This means your wife could get more than 50%. A judge might say your wife does not have the earning potential you do and therefore she is going to get 65% of your assets. Negotiate and offer 50%.
Child Support - is based on the Income Shares model. Generally, this model adds your income to your wife's to determine a weighted percentage for you and your wife. You will contribute your weighted percentage of the cost to raise your boys. Example
Your Salary - $120,000 / year
Your Wife - $14,000 / year (minimum wage)
Your percentage - 89.5%
Her percentage - 10.5%
Assume Cost to raise two boys - $2,000 per month
Your child support will be $1,790 per month.
I suggest you keep it as civilized as possible and negotiate something. Bite your tongue more than you talk.
OR
Stay married
OR
Stay married for another year or two until your financial situation is more favorable for you - e.g. she finishes school and gets a descent paying job (might get you out of paying alimony and lowers your monthly child support payments)
OR
Stay married and live separately.
--------------------
---------------
You never know someone until you divorce them.
|
AloneInTheDark
member
Reged: 08/04/09
Posts: 179
|
|
You have been married 17 years. There have been times when you have been really close and other times like now you are not. What happened to the commitment you made when you got married. I almost bet that this isnt the first time you havent felt close but whatever it was you did at the time or something made you feel close again.
What happened to your commitment that you made when you said your wedding vowells? Is it a case where you just want to try someone new or have already met someone who seems to be your next "soulmate" at the moment? Thats called a midlife crisis and most relationships that I have ever heard about/read about/know about dont last very long after the divorce anyway. Why cant you at least stay together for the sake of the kids until they leave the house. Its not like you can't live with her. You have for 17 years.
I just think too many people take the easy way out with excuses of verbal abuse, I dont love him/her any more, and being lazy about putting effort into their marriage. They want or think the have found the next best thing but hurt their whole family and just the spouse. They affect their kids in ways they dont even think about. The pain they feel and have to deal with wondereing if they were part of the reason, wondering why they cant see their mom or dad when they want, and it teaches them that families dont matter and the easy way out is better then putting effort in and fixing the problems, even if the effort is just not to speak sometimes when they are mad and to cool off before the talk. We also teach them that marriage and families are meant to fail no matter what so why bother or to expect it no matter what they do. /rant off lol.
--------------------
AloneInTheDark but life goes even without being a Dad any more.
|
lisamey01
recently joined
Reged: 10/18/09
Posts: 6
|
|
i have to agree with that last post....you put up with for so long already...maybe a little more and you can find your way back? you didnt just wake up one moring out of the blue and decide youwanted a divorce...its always "something" ....another person, perhaps? thats the most logical.....either way, sorry to hear about your situation....i wish some men could be real men and not look for easy way out over nothing. my 2nd x did that to me, met someone, then decided she wasnt worth it after 2 months...now i've remarried, and he's calling to say how sorry he is....and asking if i am sure my new marriage is valid, and wants to get back together....where was he and what the hell was he thinking last year at this time???? good luck for you...
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
Edit
Reply
Quote
