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Reged: 10/08/09
Posts: 2
Loc: STL, Mo.
      #587928 - 10/13/09 06:50 PM

I want to move on. I want to heal, but this woman plagues me almost every other day with some new drama.

My story is fit for an episode of Jerry Springer. She had a long history with alcoholism, drug abuse and during the drinking often had sexual indiscretions. I was kicked out of bible College do to drinking and her hitting on other women, lost my best friend when she came on to him and later when I thought she was sober I lost my church when she began drinking with a recovered alcoholic that lived nearby and was a member of the church. I chose to close it. She was diagnosed as bi-polar and had been on medications for 10 years or so. She has been fairly functional, but has relapses every 8+ months. 2 years ago this month she developed a "head-ache" that lasted a year, she also began having "weird days" where she would be confused clumsy and disoriented. These spells were usually weekends or evenings.

Well I always attributed these spells as related to a seizure disorder that she had (she had like 5 seizures since I've know her 20 years or so) but last April I received a call from her boss (my sister) at her job (my brother's business) that my wife was acting all strange and was stumbling around the office and not acting right. I rushed over to find her already gone. She wrecked the car and when I got to her I recognized it as one of her "weird day spells". To come back to work they insisted that we bring a doctor's note so I took her over to the ER. Well her alcohol limit was 3x legal and she also had stolen my next door neighbor's anti depressant meds. I had several instances over the years of her stealing medication from family.

Anyway she was caught and now I knew she had been drinking all those times before. She finally admitted to it all (after a lot of discussion) and I found she had been buying vanilla extract and drinking it to mask the smell (nasty). Well I took her home and tried to get her to get some counseling, she refused. I tried to get her back into A.A. and she refused. I told my sister and brother that she had had a nervous breakdown and could not return to work.

After a few months of doing nothing and trying to stay busy, she came to me and said she was going to kill herself and so I brought her to the hospital where she then checked herself in. She was heavily medicated during her stay. towards the nd (about 2.5 weeks) the doctor asked me to watch a video about ECT treatments. This is basically electro shock therapy. I was desperate and so together we agreed that it was best and told the doctor o start them. After 3 of the prescribed treatments she refused to do any more and a day later she told me she was being transferred to a drug rehab facility.

She left the hospital and moved in with her mom along with a lesbian woman she met in the psych ward. After 3 days she shows up at our home and gets her stuff at 4:30am. I suppose this was to avoid the kids. I have a 14 year old boy and a 15 year old girl. She said it was best we separate for a while.

That day I listened to her cell phone messages and there was several from men saying how they loved her and couldn't wait to see her "again". I was broken-hearted. I still am. Anyway, one of these men turned out ot be a wanted child rapist. On her 3rd visitation she introduced him to my kids. I found out when I ran his name on the Missouri Highway Patrol site. I was furious and sent her a wicked email. Later that night I thought better of it and since I had set the email account up and knew the [censored], I went in to delete the email so that I could talk to my lawyer first. While I was there I discovered that she not only knew about this man's charges, but that she was also working as a prostitute. I know invasion of privacy and all that and my motives weren't justified, but it is what it is and I haven't done it since. Last Friday I talked with her, offered to allow her to stay in our old house (which is mine in the divorce) but instead an hour later sh drank a bottle of Rum and took some pills and then called 9-11. I do not think she intended to kill herself, but to see if I would come running to her rescue. I didn't. In fact I have withdrawn the offer to let her stay in the house and told her that she is on her own.

According to the divorce decree she is entitled to see the kids every other Sat. from 10am - 6pm. Here is my question: What can happen if I stop visitation because of the company and job she has? I know I can file for a change of visitation, but in Missouri someone has to be in contempt to do this (I read this here somewhere). I am not looking to hurt the ex, in fact I would help her all I could if it wouldn't give her the false hope that I could ever have her home again. I just have the responsibility of keeping my kids safe and in a wholesome environment.

Sorry for the utter length, but I wanted to be clear about my situation.

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recently joined

Reged: 10/08/09
Posts: 2
Loc: STL, Mo.
Re: insanity [Re: preacher]
      #591747 - 10/25/09 02:04 AM

No one with anything?

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Carpal \'Tunnel

Reged: 08/18/05
Posts: 10232
Loc: missouri
Re: insanity [Re: preacher]
      #601449 - 11/18/09 04:04 PM

You need to post this on one of the other boards here, nobody reads the Missouri issues.

Empty Nesting

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