junebug
enthusiast
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 354
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My ex tried to take me to court for the same thing 6 or 7 years ago. My live-in girl friend at the time(now, my wife) would pick up DD from school on my visitation days & take car of her until I got home at 6 p.m. Ex tried to get FROR. The judge said it was my time & I could decide who & how DD was taken care of during my visitation. Jjudge said live-in was part of my house, my life & DD should be part of my life while she was with me & that included live-in if I decided. Judge said ex was trying to control things for my DD while DD was with me & that legally she had no control over how me & my DD live our life at my home or who I brought around or allowed to care for my DD unless there was PROOF of abuse or something.
So, good luck, lady! YOu sound just as controlling as my ex & she has lost about 5 times in court over stuff like this & spent lots of money to do it. If your ex was REALLY able to get an order from the judge prohibiting you from getting children on his days, then there must have ben some very hard proof that you were interferring or acting irrationally during his parenting time.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 4152
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In life post divorce it may involve tri-parenting, or even quad-parenting. His parenting time is just that, his. If you take issue with not having this time with your children, NOT taking issue with a GF picking up the kids, then ROFR is what you need, that will solve your issue.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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Dee78
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10647
Loc: TN
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Actually, alot of ROFR stipulations include a time period, usually more than 4 hours. SO if the kids get out of school at 3 and he is home by 6 then it wouldn't fall under the ROFR guidelines.
I can understand wanting to spend time with your children but the kids do need to establish that that is also their home and they do normal after school activities there.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 4152
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There is no ROFR in hubby's order and we've always dealt with quad-parenting so I'm apologize if I am misinforming merlot about that. Thanks for clarifying.
I think Debi posted a really good response, about the kids getting used to the situation, about her ex possibly not wanting to deal with exchanges when he doesn't have to, it could be the reason behind his preference to not have merlot picking up the kids.
Life post-divorce is hard and it doesn't end at graduation.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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Dee78
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10647
Loc: TN
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My post wasn't directed at you, I use quick reply most of the time so my post was just a general response.
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merlot36
newbie
Reged: 11/05/09
Posts: 29
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Thanks...Dee andSSmom it helps to get information about your experiences. I don't want to seem controlling and if that is what I am coming across then the buck stops here.
I am available and he wasn't so I assumed that the biological parent had a right to care for the child if we had agreed to do so afterschool instead of sending them to daycare. But I do see your point. Thanks
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AloneInTheDark
member
Reged: 08/04/09
Posts: 136
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While live in is fine if you are young and have no impressionable kids to learn that premarital sex is okay when their hormones start raging as teenagers around, it might not be such a smart thing to do when kids are around.
Of course most judges dont care if kids get pregnant or get girls pregnant as teenagers, all they care about is if the NCP is paying the right percent of money to them and the CP is not someone who should be in jail or a rehab center and a constant physical danger to the kids, IMO.
That is what parents who care about whats best for their kids are supposed to worry about.
Maybe I am just too old fashioned and think that parents should set the RIGHT example they expect their kids to follow. Otherwise they need to supply birth control and a constant stream of condoms to thier kids as soon as they get close to puberty.
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AloneInTheDark but life goes even without being a Dad any more.
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 8524
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How the he77 did this turn into a premarital $ex thread?? Avaya isn't even around, lol...
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Dee78
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 10647
Loc: TN
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LOL, too funny!!
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gr8Dad
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/07/04
Posts: 16000
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...you NOW understand that he doesn't want to SEE or deal with you, and its his parenting time. Funny, cause when i said the SAME thing, in the SAME calm manner, in my FIRST response to you, you called it an attack and called me bitter.
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The paper holds their folded faces to the floor and everyday the paperboy brings more
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