Buckeye
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/08/05
Posts: 7435
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Or, you planned on stay home but child came 10 weeks early and even with insurance, you owed thousands and thousands of dollars.
BIL states that she will watch child (with pay) and 10 months later, calls and says she won't be back. So, your child has to go to daycare so you can continue paying the medical bills.
Life doen't always turn out the way you planned so you do the best you can with the hand you are dealt.
BTW, hubby wanted to retire at Age 62 but I ended up with breast cancer and he had to continue working to help pay the medical bills. Finally paid the last one about 2 months ago. S h i t happens and you deal with it the best you can. We decided that he will continue working (loves his job) until I am finised with the "crises years". Then, we will both retire together.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 5447
Loc: Virginia
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I think if you said "no babies until you won't have to put them in daycare" is a great ideal, but be realistic. Some people will never be that well off. So because both my spouse and I work low-income jobs and likely won't be able to rise above that until we are well into middle aged - we don't get to have kids? Even though after 30 years at my McJob I will be a manager making plenty of money to send said kid to a state school - no kids for me. I guess I don't think daycare is so horrible that you should give up having children all together to avoid it. Thankfully my parents agree or I wouldn't be here. I mean sure - filet mignon is better than a strip steak, but seriously I would eat the strip steak before I went hungry. Throw some A-1 on and it is darn tasty.
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"I don't like piñatas. I think they promote violence against flamboyant animals."
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 13460
Loc: Capital District, NY
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strip steak or filet mignon, dang I was remembering ramen week, and a bag of chicken leg quarters for 4.90 was like the jackpot. broke doesn't mean what it used to :):)
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 5447
Loc: Virginia
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I have a butcher around the corner who has pretty good prices. If you can get over having to walk by tomorrow's bbq grazing in the front pens. This week its pork steaks for 0.99/lb.
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"I don't like piñatas. I think they promote violence against flamboyant animals."
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 8524
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"strip steak or filet mignon, dang I was remembering ramen week, and a bag of chicken leg quarters for 4.90 was like the jackpot. broke doesn't mean what it used to :):)"
No kidding... :o
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cincsu
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 3810
Loc: residence in AZ, case in CA
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came into this thread late, but thus far i would agree there are quality child care centers out there that help children develop according to their needs. i read the book Parenting Inc while i was pregnant and it really made me think about how much we splurge on our kids....how many classes parents put them in at such a young age so they will excel.
my daughter (13 mos) is going to an in home daycare. she reaches for the daycare provider when i drop her off in the morning. i let her play with our normal kitchen items and do not buy her toys every weekend. i have never once set her in front of the tv to watch any kid related show.
i am teaching her love, trust and caring at this age versus worrying about her colors and pacifying her with tv, etc.
i guess we will see how it works. sometimes i feel guilty for not staying at home with her, but then on the days i do i know i need to work to keep my sanity. for this whole year i have basically worked 4 days per week starting when she was 3.5 months. other than that she is with me or my hubs.
i do hope when she gets a little older i can arrange my work schedule so i am home when she gets out of school....but i am also happy that we both work and can afford things like travel.....because i also think that is very important for children.
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wife of 1, mother of 1, stepmother of .3475902453
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greeneyes
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/08/08
Posts: 2372
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I was a SAHM when dd was a baby - I started teaching her colors and letters early on. It isn't like I drilled her - it was part of our daily life. Life is about learning something new every day - young children included.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 4152
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Who condemned? It was Gal for starters since Gecko at lease caveats her opinion on intact families. Gal said it again in this thread. If you can't stay home, don't have kids. I have been personally told to get a puppy if I can't stay home with a child for three years. I've been told I was greedy to want a child if I couldn't stay home for three years. And it doesn't seem to matter that I'm married to a man who has to have additional support financially to even support his two kids. Doesn't matter. Can't stay home, don't have kids. I've been in several discussions over the course of my time on this forum about it, I've argued about it, and it doesn't matter intact or not Gal believes if you can't stay home, don't have kids. And for a person who wants to have a child, knows they can provide a loving and supportive environment for a child, but cannot stay home for three years due to financial constraints, it's offending. Her opinion offends me personally because I could raise a healthy, happy, baby even though I had no choice but to work. But really, it's Gal...I mean if you don't do it her way, you're wrong and she'll tell you 900 ways to Sunday that you're wrong. So thankfully I don't aim to please. But I have the right to be offended.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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ssmom79
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/27/07
Posts: 4152
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And no hard feelings toward Gal. Her opinion is her right. I don't feel any ill will about it. I'm just having one of those I can't have a baby and I want a baby moments.
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There is a great need for a sarcasm font.
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greeneyes
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 06/08/08
Posts: 2372
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I've been there, done that. Sorry that you have to go through it.
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