merlot36
newbie
Reged: 11/05/09
Posts: 29
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But where do I add that to the CS...I was given a form to fill out with my expenses and that is all..Is that something addtional I need to add
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20177
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I'm assuming there will be a hearing? Ask for clarification during the hearing. There is a base amount, and then add ons, i.e. daycare, health insurance. Ask for clarification on the base amount, is this based on each parent carrying their own expenses during their individual parenting time, does this include school lunches, clothes, etc. You may want to ask for clarification on clothes as well; if it's 50/50, it would make sense for each household to have adequate clothing for the children, and the child only goes back and forth with the clothes they wear instead of packing a bag. But, just because it makes sense, doesn't mean you and ex will be on the same page. If a judge clarifies it, you have a point of reference, and it'll cut down on arguments. After the judge clarifies, ask to have it included in the order for future reference.
Also, I would advise you to address medical. Will each parent bear the expense during their time, or will you reimburse each other, based on income. If so, how will you address medical expenses you consider voluntary or unneccessary. We have a poster on the stepfamily board whose dh was nickeled and dimed into chiropracter expenses that didn't seem to serve any purpose, other than to drive the cost to the other parent up.
How about extra-curricular activities? Does the parent who decides on the activity bear the cost, even if part of the acticity takes place on the other parent's time? Or do you split it, according to income (and if so - try to find a reasonable limit to activities and a cap for cost... you don't want to set yourself up to pay a portion of 10 different activities a month...).
Bottomline, try to address as many potential issues as you can during that hearing, and ask for clarification from the judge. It will keep down disagreements and future trips to court later on. And again, request that the judge put his clarifications down on paper.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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I think it is a bit ridiculous to argue over 13 dollars. Neither my husband nor myself get any sort of CS and I cannot imagine either one of us would squabble over hot lunch.
We pay about $150 dollars a month for hot lunch for three kids.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20177
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"I think it is a bit ridiculous to argue over 13 dollars."
I wouldn't bring it up now, no. But I see nothing wrong with addressing all issues during the hearing. She says he's nickeling and diming her, she's got issues with lunch... why not get it cleared up byt the judge once and for all?
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rocketgirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/24/04
Posts: 8562
Loc: On the beach in 14 years...
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Holy crap.. our lunches are $1.75 in middle school and $2 in HS... $3.75 is outrageous.
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Lisa
Diplomacy - the art of telling someone to go to hell, and them looking forward to the trip.
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merlot36
newbie
Reged: 11/05/09
Posts: 29
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Yeah..I know..Is a freaking Catholic school..Everything is expensive..Is ridiculous...I have another issue that has come up...
Becuae the children wear uniform.My x husbnad has started this little game..of not returning the school clothes unless. I send him any casual clothes the kids may have come to my house with..Now this is the kicker...
I got an email..Where he asked for several items..I replied and informed him that I too needed my items. He demanded that I drop off his things on his porch and I expected my things to be on his porch at the time of drop off..When I got there there was nothing. Still I dropped off his things. One of the items that I needed was a pair of school shoes as I only have one pair in my household and my x has his own pair in his...This item was never dropped off until 10am on the day my son had to go to school. He went to school without his complete uniform.
I get a second email from x requesting halloween clothes from his house that the kids had left here in addition to other items in the body of the email he says that he knows that I will need the kids uniform for the week. therefore he will not return the uniform until I gather all his items and return. I informed him that he had still not given me the courtesy of returning any items from his first email and that thses items were his and I would have not any problem returning but why is he using the kids uniforms as collateral and threating not to return them unless I complied...
Well to make a long story short. The childrens uniform was not returned. On the morning of..I text him and asked why did he not dropped off the uniform. He text back claiming that the uniform was on his porch all day and why did I not pick it up. Never did he mentioned any of this to me...It is was now 709AM I am getting myself together trying to get the kids together to get to school on time...I kept texting him to understand that I am by myself I could not possibly leave my house and go get the uniform.He lives with his girlfriend (no kids)why did he not text me the day before or dropped off the clothes like I had on his porch.....
7:30AM came I ended up sending my daughter to school with an old uniform and holding my son back until I was able to pick up the uniform from his house.. mine you the uniform was dirty when I picked up. My son ended up going to school with a dirty uniform and he was late....
This back and forth with uniform has become a nightmare.
Today is Sunday..I expected that after all this he would of had the courtesy to send the uniforms in the kids backpack. Like I send them. I currently have no uniform for tomorrow...Right now I do not want to engage in a conflict with this individual... Is there anyway I can ask a judge that this manipulation needs to stop...
We are both suppose to provide uniforms for the kids. Yet he refuses to return what belongs to my household in a timely manner. creating havoc in the morning of school..
Advice please
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20177
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"My x husbnad has started this little game..of not returning the school clothes unless. I send him any casual clothes the kids may have come to my house with.."
So... unless you return "his", he won't return "yours"? Maybe I'm missing something, but that seems to make sense to me, no? Is it a "game", maybe, but honestly, it sounds to me that he's getting frustrated of not receiving clothes back his household purchased, and he's returning the favor.
How old are the kids?
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merlot36
newbie
Reged: 11/05/09
Posts: 29
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But that is the thing..I do return the clothes back...Even the uniforms..This guy has been trying to portray me in court as an alineating mom...Who likes to create issues for him.......
I know his game and I won't play it.I will not allow him to try and portray me as a vindictive x wife who tries to interfer in his life..... Therefore when he ask for items. I forward all of the clothes that are in my house. Believe me I do not want to deal with this psycho...
Yet I request for my clothes and my emails are ignore...I have now come to the point that I won't return any (casual)items until he does the same to me. The problem is that not only is he not returning my casual items. he is now holding the uniform that i need for school.
I make it a point to make sure uniforms are return as the kids need them to go to school and I don't want him crying to a judge claiming I am making life difficult for him.
However he is making life miserable for me and has no concern in holding back the kids uniform. even if it mean they do not attend school. I find this disturbing.
I have now lower myself to his level by holding back casual clothes which I have never done before. Until he sends me the items that belong to my household. I feel like I have no other choice.
Is childish and ridiculous but what other choice do i have...
My kids are 6 and 7
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Sherron
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/25/06
Posts: 20177
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I'm confused... the way it was worded above, it seemed like his withholding was in response to you not sending back casual clothes.
"My x husbnad has started this little game..of not returning the school clothes unless. I send him any casual clothes the kids may have come to my house with.."
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merlot36
newbie
Reged: 11/05/09
Posts: 29
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Sorry did not mean to confuse you....
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