Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26700
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Ok, that may be what it seems like. But now you have to understand, that your agreement was just that. It was a choice you made. That train has left the station. It is time to use the system to correct it. File for the modification and get started on the road to becoming self sufficient. This is not going to be quick fix. it may take years. Ask some people on here, how long it took them to get to that point, with their exes making it even tougher.
All of this hinges on the choices you make today, not the ones you made however many years ago.
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9394
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[quote]Who pays for the health insurance, and how much is that worth towards the cost of raising a child? [/quote]
If he's military, insurance is free for the child.
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Tweeby
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
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I am totally confused with you.
Dad wants the child to go to HIS home and he doesn't travel back to where you are. Is that correct? Traveling to where YOU are doesn't mean Dad doesn't want the child.
I'm not seeing what you are up against. You are blaming lawyers for choices that are made. I'm not sure how a lawyer could provoke your father into hitting him. Did he calls yoru father some names? In a divorce or custody case you got to have some pretty thick skin because there are a lot of dirty tricks that are used. Name calling is really nothing.
IMO, you keep trying to protray your ex in a bad way but it is just coming across as YOU being controlling and out of touch with reality.
I don't see what your up agaist at all. Seems that dad wants to be with the child but you want it on YOUR terms and if he doesn't agree than he is wrong. Just my opinion on what you have posted.
I would call you a troll but sadly I know others who think the same way you do. It is like talking to a brick wall because no matter what anyone says you are the victim and everyone who disagrees with you is trying bad.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26700
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Actually that is just not true, that is one of urban myths. Just like any employer, what insurance costs, has a direct effect on the pay the employee receives. If it were free, then you would not have to do anything for it.
Not only that, there is an entire schedule of fees, deductibles, co pays, prescription costs, etc. To say it is free only continues to say there is no value to it. His providing insurance is a huge contribution.
There are different levels of "free" insurance, and depending on where they live, the number of providers could be limited. To say the insurance is free is the same as saying your children eat for free since they don't actually pay for it out of their pocket.
He has a great benefit, he goes to work every day to provide it, it is a huge contribution, and it should be recognized as such. If healthcare is free, then anyone drawing a paycheck is getting free money, since their employer provides that paycheck.
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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At $40,000 base, he would be paying $517 at 17%. Minus $2000 off the total child support amount per year, that brings you to $4,205 in base child support, divided by 12, that's roughly $350 per month.
The numbers are adding up to me. I don't see what her issue is, frankly. She is claiming she wasn't properly advised of the CSSA. However, she had an attorney who should have advised her. If she signed the documents, then the CSSA "I understand what I'm doing" language WOULD have been in there. And she acknowledged it/accepted it by signing it.
Anyway, the reality is she's looking at a difference between $350 and $517 per month. What she NEEDS to do is go get a JOB. I don't intend that to be rude or mean, it's REALITY. You cannot live off of child support. PERIOD. YOU are "supposed" to be providing half of your child's care/well-being financially. You are not. You are failing that responsibility. Go get a job, use government programs that are available to you and stop trying to make up figures you can use to steal money from your ex to fund your share of caring for your child.
Sorry if that's "mean" or "harsh" it's REALITY.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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If he is Air Force he is likely at Aviano. There is still no way he is getting 55K extra a year on top of regular pay unless he is getting a specialty bonus yearly. Food and housing allowance is not that high. COLA may be high, but he is only getting a single rate so how much could that be a month? 500? We got 800 for a family of 5 and that was right after September 11 when the dollar crashed.
Also, it seems that the poster agreed to a lessor amount of child support to end the court battle and to pave the way for visitation costs. I don't know how she can go about changing that agreement now.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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preemiemom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/17/07
Posts: 19391
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[quote]I don't know how she can go about changing that agreement now. [/quote]
------------->> She CAN, it is a loophole in the CSSA. Particularly for people who are pro se or who can prove they had shytty attorneys. Easiest way? Is to claim you did NOT get a copy of the Child Support Standards Act. You are legally required to get a copy of the actual document. I forget what it's titled at the moment but it's basically THE act itself. And, when getting divorced, or doing a child support order you are SUPPOSED to, BOTH parties, get an actual real live, black and white (well color if you have a color printer and want to be fancy) hard copy version of the act.
Ex and I learned this twice... when his original divorce turned out NOT to be a divorce and again, when we were looking into doing a modification. Another reason the attorney said it was wisest not to open that poor because she COULD claim, having represented herself, that she never GOT a copy of the CSSA which would negate that ruling and he MIGHT end up worse off than he already was.
When I did our divorce I made SURE he had a copy, I made sure he signed an affidavit stating that he GOT that copy. And I signed one as well for me.
So yeah, if she's trying to say her attorney sucked and he didn't inform her/she didn't get a copy, yes, she has "grounds" to negate the existing child support order and they would start over from scratch.
Welcome to New York :(
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youngatheart
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 09/03/05
Posts: 9394
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That's crap. He pays NOTHING for his health insurance. Same as my ex pays NOTHING for our children's health insurance. Is it a benefit due to employment? Of course, but it's not something either parent is having to pay for.
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spinnerdegrassi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 08/20/06
Posts: 7956
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However, if she does go back to court, she risks getting burned for sitting on her ass and not working, especially with a kid who's almost 6 (how in the hell an almost 6 yr old isn't in kindergarten all day is beyond me, I was already in grade 2 by age 6)
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Tweeby
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/05/04
Posts: 7100
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I was wondering about the age myself. NY does NOT have a mandatory Kindergarden. They offer it but it is not mandatory. School age begins at 6 yo. She mentioned that the child will be turning 6 soon so the child will start school next school year.
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