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Redlegg
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Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: Redlegg]
      #602697 - 11/23/09 05:39 AM

How old is the court order, what income was used to figure the CS, has he been in Italy the entire time, there are a lot of things that come into play.

I ran the numbers for COLA for an 04 with 12 years in Italy, with 0 dependents, with no government housing provided. I used Vicenza as the location and it came out to 458.00 for every 15 day period.

We are talking about under 1000.00 a month for COLA. Of course that can vary by the area.

I am just not sure where the original numbers are coming from, but they are readily available to the public. Using the information she knows, she could find out pretty much exactly what his pay and benefits are.

Here is the page I used:

www.defensetravel.dod.mil/perdiem/ocform.html

There are so many things that affect this. Was he active duty when the order was done, how long will he be in italy, where at, TIS, Grade and more.


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Cassie23
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Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: Redlegg]
      #602698 - 11/23/09 05:41 AM

Technically she could probably use CSE and they could do the review for her.

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Redlegg
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Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: Cassie23]
      #602699 - 11/23/09 05:47 AM

For what she is talking about, it depends on what NY allows for income. He is receiving benefits/allowances that are not permanent wages. He does not get a raise for being in Italy. His pay is the same, his allowances can change due to location.

What would stop her from using CSE? Is there some technical requirement that would stop her, beyond the time period?


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Tweeby
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Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: Cassie23]
      #602700 - 11/23/09 05:49 AM

But why would a court allow such a small amount of CS with that income? It just doesn't make sense at all.

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Redlegg
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Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: Tweeby]
      #602703 - 11/23/09 05:52 AM

If it was that income, what if he is a reservist who has been activated ? One of the key questions is what income was used to figure the support. Too many mysteries.

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1004SRS
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Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: Redlegg]
      #602709 - 11/23/09 06:18 AM

That was nice of you, Redd, to not just attack but provide valuable information.

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cherokee
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Reged: 11/19/09
Posts: 42
Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: 1004SRS]
      #602717 - 11/23/09 06:44 AM

yes, thank you redd. he has been in service for 18 years active duty. the reason i don't get the 17% as ny is required is when i explained in the beginning, my lawyer said if i did not allow that $2,000.00 to be withheld to him so he could travel in from where he was stationed, then the ex would continue to fight for custody. i was so fed up with all the crap from him and his mother, that i said lets get it over with. that's why my son is not getting what he' entitled to. but now that he's going on 6 it's not enough to raise him. plus the fact that he goes to school on my fathers tax bill, my ex don't even pay for that. but i will venture to guess that grtdad is 100 times better then my ex could ever be. even his parents stink they don't call to see how the boy is or nothing, that goes for his mother (who lives with him) and the grandfather and aunt who live 7 miles from us. i don't know how much more i can explain. i don't believe he ever wanted his son, just from the way he act's...believe me i can't wait to get a job. just to have more outside contacts with people. but right now, yes i'm a stay at home mom. even a lawyer told me that it's good i'm home for my son raising him, it's good for him emotionally, and he said where we live day care is a fortune, and not good for the child...thank you for hearing me

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Tweeby
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Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: cherokee]
      #602721 - 11/23/09 07:02 AM

So YOU agreed to a lessor amount of CS?

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Redlegg
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Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: cherokee]
      #602724 - 11/23/09 07:15 AM

Ok, let me see if I got this right. You are getting the 17% minus travel for him. This was based on the assumption he would actually travel. That just makes him not a good father. what your son is not getting out that deal is the time with his father. You are making it possible for him to see his children, he is a tool for choosing not to do so. You can go for a modification and have that removed. You could just tell him that you will pay for travel from thsi point forward, that way, you will get that money he is not using. Of course you will have to pay for his travel, so you need to have it available. That may be tough for awhile because that may make him decide to actually travel.

I cannot speak to your specific circumstances, but in parts of NY it does not matter how many kids go to school from a particular household, the school taxes are the same. Even retirees pay school taxes and they have no children. To me, it seems your son is benefitting from where you parents live and pay taxes, and not the ex.

You cannot make his parents be better grandparents, all you can do is leave the door open, some pictures, christmas cards, whatever it may be, all you can do is let them know the door is open. You don't have to, that is your choice. In the end all you can do is facilitate the fact that it is their choice. You cannot make the choice for them.

You are a stay at home mom. Your choice to do that is not a bad thing, but it is not the only thing. There are plenty of single parents who do work, and their children do not suffer. It is not a wrong or right choice, they are just different choices.

The daycare/SAHP has been an endless source of discussion, there are pros and cons, but do not confuse your choice as the best one. It is yours to make, and it is best for you, but certainly not the only workable choice.

You have to work with what you have. Circumstances are not good right now, and it is tough. You are making a choice to stay at home. it may be your only choice, and that is understandable. But you have to take a step back, and ask yourself, how do I make this work. How do you get more money coming into your household. I do hear you, and I am not sure a lawyer is the best person to take advice from on the social norms of rasing a child, but hey, who knows.

Maybe two questions you should ask people here are how to do a modification on your own, saving the cost of a lawyer, and if anyone knows of some innovative ways you can briing some cash into your household. Instead of fighting the system, use the system. It is there for everyone, and all of the people will not like the outcome, but your best chance to get any changes are to use the system.

Are your children on Tricare or US family health plan, what do they have for insurance?


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cherokee
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Reged: 11/19/09
Posts: 42
Re: So, what DO you DO? [Re: Tweeby]
      #602728 - 11/23/09 07:21 AM

i had to ,at the time, i was afraid they would try something, and about 2 years after they did. his lawyer pulled a stunt on my father, trying to provoke him into hitting him, so they could say my father was dangerous, and have my son taken out of the house. luckily, my father is a vietnam vet and knows how to refrain from such attempt. the next trick was most recently, when my ex emailed me and said he would like to have our son in italy to attend the first grade fro one year.(of course i said no way. i found out that if i did allow such a thing, he could file motion for custody, under a thing called status quo..so you see what i'm up against...thank you

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