insomniac
recently joined
Reged: 04/30/09
Posts: 5
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I posted a while back and since then I've gotten back with my wife, moved in etc. I honestly think she used the sex we had as a way to (sadly) get me back with her. After I moved back in, she became just as withdrawn as before. I have told her that I feel like I'm just here to take care of the kids and help them along, and she said "that's because that is what you choose to be" and yet I'm the one who is trying to be a lover and a husband to her again. It's simply not working and she refuses to even let me in emotionally at all. I feel like a friend to her and nothing more. Quite simply, I know now that I really do want out. The problems I have now though are finding a place to live for the short time until I can secure my own place (since I'm pretty sure she will kick me out) and dealing with her after I tell her.
I know a lot of you will say "try counseling" but she quite adamantly refuses it, mostly because she says it costs too much and that she just doesn't think we need it- even after I left the first time! My work/family schedule kind of ruins the chance for me to get it myself at least, but at the same time I'm so emotionally distant from her it's like living with a roommate I found in the newspaper or something.
Another thing that happened earlier this month really snapped me out of the fog of success I was in. We were having some difficulty with the kids (2 year old was being... well a 2 year old and our 5 month old was fussy) and we were both crabby. I said some mean things (that I apologized for later) but that didn't stop her at the time from hitting me. Nothing that I would consider painful, but I was at the sink and after I said it she hit me about 3 times in the back. I told her 'that's it' and proceeded to start to pack my things, when she came in crying and asking for forgiveness (but not before saying we 'cant afford me to leave'). Obviously that time I did. But she also took the keys to the van before coming to me, which is something I am wondering about too.
I know now that she will stop at nothing to make it impossible for me to leave, including blocking the doorway out of our bedroom. What is the proper way of getting out of the house at this point? I don't want to hurt her but if I'm going to leave, I'm going to. Plus, we only have one set of keys to the van- I have to keep my wits about me beforehand so that I can secure the keys so I can leave.
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Reilly
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 3374
Loc: right here ----->
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Is your wife suffering from postpartum depression?
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Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?~Marilyn Monroe
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insomniac
recently joined
Reged: 04/30/09
Posts: 5
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If she was, she'd never admit to it. She's one of those people that thinks those sort of things happen to 'other people.'
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Reilly
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/05/05
Posts: 3374
Loc: right here ----->
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I'm really sorry this is happening to you....I most generally don't like "excuses"...but your wifes behavior reeks of post partum depression....
I didn't think so until I read that your youngest was 5 months old...its absolutely something that may need to be looked into...
Best of luck to you...
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Ever notice how 'What the hell' is always the right answer?~Marilyn Monroe
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timbuktu
journeyman
Reged: 09/26/09
Posts: 77
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I hate to say it but I've learned from taking my cheating ex back time after time over the course of a 15 year marriage that things never change...they always go back to their same old ways.
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