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candlelight123
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19 year marriage, CA, spousal support?
      #611129 - 12/14/09 05:26 PM

We waited until child #1 went off to college, leaving 2 freshmen in high school at home. My situation: spouse was earning over 6 figures as a software engineer up until 8 years ago when he was layed off. Since then, he's been self-employed, earning $20-40k, working only when someone calls him. Says the economy is bad and he can't work, can't find a job-- has both a contractor's license and software skills. I earn $135k (only in the last year-- earned about $100k prior). He's 62, I'm in my 50's.
Our quality of life has been not great, as he also failed to work on our house while not employed.... I'd be interested in anyone's feedback on how I might be impacted support wise.

I'm wondering if I can get hit with permanent spousal support due to his age? He is telling me that he now can't get a job because no one will hire someone close to retirement. Essentially, he hasn't worked 8 years of a 19 year marriage-- will a judge look at that? We're headed to mediation to attempt to resolve. In the meantime, I'm paying for everything since I don't want to put him out on the street-- it's been 3 months since we separated and he's still not working.......

Thanks


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finz
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: candlelight123]
      #611162 - 12/14/09 07:32 PM

Start gathering up ads from the paper and any info you can about companies that are hiring in either of his fields and the salary ranges. He would have to prove to the court that he has been aggressively looking for a job and can't get one.

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Miranda
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: candlelight123]
      #611203 - 12/14/09 08:48 PM

I think you are going to be on the hook for spousal support. Given his age and the horrible state you live in (divorce wise), you may be made to pay for a long time.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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1966Gal
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: Miranda]
      #611419 - 12/15/09 10:20 AM

I agree with Miranda. He hasn't worked in his field for 8 years. He's a dinosaur in that technology and he's older. Two whammies against him. You are now making $135k to his $20 - $40. You don't say how long you've been married, but based on the age of your kids, I'm guessing 20+ years.

You might be looking at lifetime alimony. You will need a very good lawyer. What kind of assets do you have to split? Retirement accounts, etc...?

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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.


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Miranda
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: 1966Gal]
      #611471 - 12/15/09 10:55 AM

It says in the title 19 year marriage.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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1966Gal
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: Miranda]
      #611563 - 12/15/09 01:10 PM

Oh yea...duh. :)

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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.


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candlelight123
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: 1966Gal]
      #611639 - 12/15/09 02:18 PM

Him: 401k is $200k, and he will soon inherit $1M plus
House: $300k in equity
Me: 401k is $68k

Looks like I'll have to pay until he inherits money from mommy-- which i believe is what he's been waiting for all these years.....


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1966Gal
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: candlelight123]
      #611667 - 12/15/09 02:59 PM

Don't divorce him until he inherits that money! DELAY the divorce until he has the money in hand. It will changed everything about your settlement.

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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.


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googledad
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: 1966Gal]
      #611670 - 12/15/09 03:05 PM

Really ? How ? His inheritance is nonmarital and they live in a community property state .

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Careful. We don't want to learn from this.


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1966Gal
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: googledad]
      #611676 - 12/15/09 03:15 PM

Really ? How ? His inheritance is nonmarital and they live in a community property state .
+++++++

Simple. They look at his "need" when determining alimony. They will look at all assets available to him when determining his "need". If he has $1 mil more than she does, it is very, very doubtful she'll be ordered to pay anything.

However, she has to wait until he has the money in-hand. They won't consider money he may or may not receive at some unknown point in the future.

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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.


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Miranda
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: 1966Gal]
      #611696 - 12/15/09 03:40 PM

Inheritence if off limits.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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1966Gal
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: Miranda]
      #611699 - 12/15/09 03:46 PM

It is off-limits as far as her getting any of it. But it's NOT off limits when determining his "need" for alimony.

They will look at all monies available to him, including trusts, inheritances, etc... when determining his need for alimony.

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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.


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Miranda
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: 1966Gal]
      #611720 - 12/15/09 04:06 PM

There is still a huge disparity in income and he has still be out of workforce for 8 years and is of retirement age. She is going to pay one way or another.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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Goodmom
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: googledad]
      #611726 - 12/15/09 04:12 PM

[quote]Really ? How ? His inheritance is nonmarital and they live in a community property state . [/quote]

It will have a major impact on spousal support.


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Goodmom
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: Miranda]
      #611727 - 12/15/09 04:13 PM

[quote]There is still a huge disparity in income and he has still be out of workforce for 8 years and is of retirement age. She is going to pay one way or another. [/quote]

Not with a $1m inheritance, she's not.


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Miranda
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: Goodmom]
      #611738 - 12/15/09 05:30 PM

[quote][quote]There is still a huge disparity in income and he has still be out of workforce for 8 years and is of retirement age. She is going to pay one way or another. [/quote]

Not with a $1m inheritance, she's not. [/quote]

You don't know that. He does not even have the money yet and who is to say if and when he gets it? And if he files now, there is no real delaying this so no sense in stating hypotheticals.

Since they are already in mediation it looks like the divorce is rolling on...spousal support can be modified if and when he gets the money-if that is what the court orders.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!

Edited by Miranda (12/15/09 05:34 PM)


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Cinder2
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: 1966Gal]
      #611758 - 12/15/09 07:10 PM

I agree, Susan. There are 14 factors the courts consider in California. Here is number 5:

5. Parties' assets and debts: The parties' respective assets and obligations, including the separate property of each. [Ca Fam § 4320(e)] Thus, a spouse's separate estate (including assets allocated to each as a result of the community property division)--and the reasonable income potential therefrom--may require the "withholding" of support altogether or a termination of previously-awarded support. [Ca Fam § 4321(a)]

Interestingly, it says that the spouse separate assets can also lead to a termination of previously-awarded support. Meaning that if he inherits after they divorce, she could take the alimony issue back to court and possibly get it changed to reflect new assets.

Cinder


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candlelight123
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: Cinder2]
      #611770 - 12/15/09 08:08 PM

BTW, I was a SAHM for 8 years when the kids were young. I then went out and made a living, and he decided to back off of working as my income increased. Since I didn't work for the first 8 years of our marriage, and he did, would that impact the length of spousal support as well? Or will they simply look at the current picture-- that I make much more money than he does.

BTW-- it also looks like he will try to get as much spousal support out of me as possible and then get the rest of his living expenses covered by his mother..... nice at age 62, eh?


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english7
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: candlelight123]
      #611772 - 12/15/09 08:28 PM

I believe they will look at assets and debts before determining spousal support. The inheritance is not yet in his possession, so not his asset.

You've been working for 11 years to provide for him (as he's been under-employed). It seems to me that he is not able to attain the salary he once had. I could be wrong, but I agree with other posters that at his age in his profession, he can't be expected to contribute the salary he used to.

If you CAN make a salary above his, I'm afraid you will have to give him support.

The inheritance must really make you angry. He can hold out on taking it until you have supported him for years. It's too bad.

Don't worry yet about spousal suppport. Other things come into play before that is figured out.


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Miranda
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: candlelight123]
      #611773 - 12/15/09 08:28 PM

I think they will look at the current picture. He is a 62 year old man who has not worked in 8 years.

Do you know when exactly he is supposed to get the inheritance? I would not let on that you know you can reduce spousal support when he gets his inheritance. People can do shady things with money.

--------------------
13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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candlelight123
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: Miranda]
      #611774 - 12/15/09 08:52 PM

He's been working-- self-employed contractor and under-functioning in that role; doesn't push himself to earn more when he could; doesn't work on our old house when he's not working.... house looks neglected and shabby, while he sits on his laptop doing crossword puzzles....
Since we separated, he activated himself and is actually networking and looking for jobs, and documenting this activity.
Inheritance is based on death of his mother, who is in her 90's
Looks like I'll be paying SS for the next few years, and CS until the 15 year olds turn 18-- we plan to do joint custody.


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Miranda
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: candlelight123]
      #611779 - 12/15/09 09:01 PM

So you are basing the inheritance on the death of his mother who is in her 90's? She could live another ten years and throw all of her money away in that time. It is a crappy situation.

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13.1...because I am only half crazy!


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spinnerdegrassi
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: Miranda]
      #611783 - 12/15/09 09:09 PM

Plus that money could be tied up for a while. When my father passed away, it took @ 2 years for the estate to be settled, and the money to be passed, and that was relativley free of issues.

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gr8Dad
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: 1966Gal]
      #611801 - 12/15/09 11:26 PM

Gee Susan, where is your NORMAL advice that a paying spouse should offer to pay a smaller amount over a LOOOOONG period of time? Where is your normal OUTRAGE they one spouse is trying to get OUT of alimony?

Instead of telling her she should PAY, you advise her to get a good attorney, and put off the divorce until he inheirits the MONEY.

Wow, could it be cause she is FEMALE?

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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javajunkiee
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: spinnerdegrassi]
      #614846 - 12/25/09 12:33 PM

Not to mention, that the op doesn't know how the inheritance is structured. There are all kinds of ways that money could be routed to him that would enable him to legally avoid declaring it as income.

Don't count HIS chickens before they've hatched.

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Marriage doesn't come with a money-back guarantee.


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CAFamilyLawCoach
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Re: 19 year marriage, CA, spousal support? [Re: javajunkiee]
      #617017 - 01/02/10 05:45 PM

In CA, there are a couple things that haven't been mentioned. First, you can try to bargain with the disparity in the 401k accounts. That could work. You can also work with your theory that he's intentionally underemployed. Given his age and his working status over the last eight years, you may have an uphill battle. But it very well could help you that he's stepped up his efforts recently. File well-worded declarations asking the court to order him to work/seek work full-time. Otherwise, yes, you're probably on the hook for a while. Once he has his inheritance, depending on how much it is and how it's disbursed (and when - probate can delay distributions for years), you may be able to reduce the support at that point since he has a reduced need. Or, maybe he'll remarry. :)

Good luck.

--------------------
Christina McPherson, Esq.
Hourly family law coach
CAFamilyLawCoach.com


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