amazing
member
Reged: 09/18/09
Posts: 166
|
|
OMG You pinched one of my nerves. Because you are absouluty hitting the button on the nose. Every little bit of money I had, he made sure he took. And now he is doing it behind my back. Thats ok. Cause my life moves on and things will change to where I will get on my feet and manage my own monies. He can go stand in a chicken coop and balk and wonder why everything he had is gone. He will never get the hint because thats all he knows. I love life, my children, and thank god I have a sense of sanity, again.
|
english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
|
|
Sounds like we were married to the same man! My husband lavished gifts on me for years.
But once married, he took my paychecks, used my money to open a SECOND IRA in HIS name, wouldn't let me have my own bank account, etc.
Now I see that he was buying a wife. Once he had me, I really became his property in his mind.
When I had to leave because of assault, he thought nothing of the fact that I was homeless and had to go on welfare.
He blamed ME for his violence, saying that I didn't stop him and that I left him in his "moment of need."
|
myheart
enthusiast
Reged: 05/21/09
Posts: 213
|
|
Well here you go again. I was making money like he did, but as soon as money hit the joint account, it became his money. So anything I would do for my kids, like buying $20 shoes, he would say, my money my monney, he is spending the money, which got me a big time. Hello it is our money. He had very expensive tast for himself, ate lunch everyday out, here I was savinging $20 shoes money, constatnly.
But it is all about money, my separation was about money, now I see my marriage to him was about money as well. H eknew I was making good moeny. But after marriage I didn'y have right to spend even single penny without his permission.
It is all about control and money. One more thing they have is, their timeline. They want everything done in their timeline, marriage, divorce everything, because they like to run the show.
|
amazing
member
Reged: 09/18/09
Posts: 166
|
|
Gosh, Our spouses must have been twins. He would even check my purse to take petty change or even if I had a few bucks. I was never allowed to hold money without him know ing about it. Yet his wallet was always stocked well. And he was secretive with what he had. I think its pure selfishness in a way.
|
english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
|
|
I understand the timeline thing, too, and the need to run the show. My husband insisted I drive down to HIS house and get all my belongings (about 12 hour drive). When I did, I found he'd changed the locks the day before so I was out on the street. He had to control that situation entirely. I had to set up times when I could come to pack each day, and he watched over me and harrassed me.
|
english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
|
|
My husband hoarded money instead of spending it. He thought that the only reason I wanted my own account was because I wanted to buy things "secretly." He still thinks I have a "secret" savings account. It would not surprise me if he is keeping money secretly.
|
myheart
enthusiast
Reged: 05/21/09
Posts: 213
|
|
So, I got a letter from his lawyer yesterday, as I suspected I would. He hired a lawyer now. This guy can't give a sinlge penny to anybody but to run his agenda he can waste money like this. Ego is everything to him. Ihave seen him with others too, when he hates somebody he hates from his heart and he will make every efford to destroy this person. Nobody crosses him.....
Anyway, I am not his wife anymore, and I don't live on his timeline. His lawyer said lets do things to move things along and finish everything in time (his desired time). I am in unsettled/temp situation right now. so I told her, well I will finish things when I can, my priority is my children right now, and find a proper/safe place for us, they are in real need for my time and energy. Wheh he is living comfortably in his house. And I already checked with court hwo told me, I still have time take care of paper work. I know paper work will require lots physical and emotional energy. When you are confortable you can think about pushing things along, but when you are stuggling everyday, paper work will be last thing in mind.
I know moving ahead is a list item on his list to do during holidays. He runs his life by list. Sorry he can't run mine anymore..
Look when trust and respect is destroyed nothing has left, period....
|
english7
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/27/09
Posts: 3001
|
|
Do you and your children have a safe place to live??? That is a priority. You are so right that you have to make sure your children are properly cared for now. Don't let him push you to act if you are not able to. Do you have a lawyer? If not, what have you been able to do to move ahead on legalities? I understand the struggling with everyday basic needs. It's a nightmare! A nightmare that seems like it will never end. I hope things get a little better for you.
|
myheart
enthusiast
Reged: 05/21/09
Posts: 213
|
|
Thanks english7, yes we are safe, but in a very temp living arrangement. We have to move again, so we are living in boxes. Too much fiancial burden due to this situation. When he moved to his house and living like he never left.
I already checked with court and they told me I have another 4 months to send papers, there is no hurry, nobody is going to look at them before that. This is why I am trying to finish my work. No I don't have lawyer, but will need one once I get to that point..
He casued this situation to me, he made this move when he had his place vacant and left me in the limbo, so I had to move too to this place.
He loves to control everything. Like he chased to marry me, he even told me when does see me as his wife, when will ho show people that me such a wonderful person is his wife. I was naive, I thought oh god he loves me so much, and it felt so good at that time. But it took me very few months to realize that I became his property, and he is a business man, and he sells and buys things (many without money), as it suits him.
So now he wants to get rid of me fast, sicne he couldn't control me at the end, so he is pushing to finish his checklist. He dopesn't know there is a date to finish things, he can't push faster than that. Thanks god court doesn't do things according to him.
I am not complaining about divorce, you can see, it is good for all of us, but I do need more time to prepare, since I have many current obligations. I am sure this is driving him crazy... Oh welllllll
|
amazing
member
Reged: 09/18/09
Posts: 166
|
|
Oh sure it is driving him crazy the control he once had in you , is gone. And now he probably somehow thinks its getting to you. By him shutting you out. In all reality it is getting to himself.
|
Previous
Index
Next
Threaded
[Re: 
Edit
Reply
Quote
