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charliesbabe
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Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony
      #616164 - 12/30/09 08:37 PM

Hi everyone, I am new here and have a bit of a different type of issue. My husband has been divorced for almost two years and still has 4 more years of alimony to pay.
The issue is is his ex just received a significant amount from an inheritance, starting with 80k and 350k more that she will be getting. I know that a significant pay raise from the person receiving alimony/sp.supp. is grounds for a
modification. He brought this up with her after she went and bought a new Lexus, having refused to talk to him about how much and when she was receiving from the inheritance.
As far as I know, spousal support is to help the ex due to the decline in income and help her get back on her feet. Well, she can take care of herself now and plans to pay off her town home when she gets the rest of the money. When he asked her if receiving the money meant he didn't have to pay her anymore( he wanted to come to a verbal agreement first) she just said "yeah, right, you OWE me that money". She then stopped herself and said '"it's in the agreement", which is true.
So, I'm having a hard time because the money he pays her just goes to new furniture, iphones, etc. She doesn't need it to make the mortgage like she did before she got the inheritance.
He wanted to go before a judge and get a modification, but was warned that it could backfire on him and he might have to pay more. So far, she has received 80k and the 350k is tied up in court.
I feel bad for my husband because he works darn hard for his money( like everyone else) and has to watch while she gets all new stuff knowing all the while that his check is just going for extra stuff.
I know when we dated and married that he had an ex and had to pay alimony but there is a reason for modifications and she clearly doesn't need his money anymore. So I am asking, how can I let this go and be done with it? We would love to pay his car off, stuff like that, nothing extravagant, just fairness and equitability. If he was to get a huge raise or anything like that, she would want "her share", she already told him she looks at it as" what's his is hers and whats hers is hers".
Any advice or similar experiences would be much appreciated. Thanks...


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Miranda
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: charliesbabe]
      #616181 - 12/30/09 09:56 PM

What state and has he spoken to a lawyer?

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gr8Dad
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: charliesbabe]
      #616184 - 12/30/09 10:07 PM

A lot of it would depend on what KIND of alimony she is getting, and the amount.

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Why give a "senior" discount, they have had plenty of time to raise the money...


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Redlegg
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: gr8Dad]
      #616213 - 12/31/09 07:13 AM

What if it went the other way, the husband inherited 400K, would he be upping the amount of spousal support for a longer time????

I understand the rehab type of alimony might be affected, but would an inheritance be considered on both sides, and why is it fair for only one?


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charliesbabe
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: Redlegg]
      #616578 - 12/31/09 03:50 PM

We are in Oregon and, no he hasn't spoken to a lawyer. My sister has 20 years experience in family court and her judge has fielded lots of questions for me regarding this. The judge told me that there is a chance that going for a modification could backfire. There is a complicated formula where everyone's income goes into the formula and the possiblity of him having to pay more scares us from going through with it. Plus, she gets their son involved even though he has asked her not to discuss financial issues with him.
I'm not sure what is meant by what type of alimony he is paying.
As for the reverse scenario, to me that's a moot point considering that's not the issue I am asking about.


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Redlegg
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: charliesbabe]
      #616583 - 12/31/09 03:59 PM

It is the concept of an inheritance benefitting the divorced spouse. Would you think an inheritance he got should benefit her, or she is entitled to a portion of it, after they are divorced. It is not really a point, it was just a question about the concept of an inheritance, after a divorce, benefitting a previous spouse.

So you are right, it is a moot point because your concern is about reducing the alimony your husband has to pay to his previous spouse.


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charliesbabe
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: Redlegg]
      #616602 - 12/31/09 04:13 PM

Hi Redlegg, thank you for your reply. I guess I just can't get around the fact that her inheritence falls under the change of circumstance. The judge said that the inheritance counts as income, so it's like she got a huge pay raise, tax-free. To answer your previous question, yes, she would want an increase if it was reversed. She has said so in so many words, "what's his is hers and what's hers is hers".
She gets spousal support and shild support and he pays his son's insurance. If she buys anything extra, she makes him pay for half, i.e. a new backpack.


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charliesbabe
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: charliesbabe]
      #616613 - 12/31/09 04:19 PM

I meant to add that the support is for her to pay her mortgage, bills, etc. Now she more than enough for that and won't consider a modification because "he's lucky she doesn't make him pay more". I have a nasty email from her crying poormouth when she is anything but that. My husband was very equitable in the divorce, she got half of everything, house, 401k, he gave her a car and he had to buy something for him.
Also, where he works is closing it's doors in 2 years and we would like to prepare for that.
Thanks again for your reply.


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Redlegg
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: charliesbabe]
      #616620 - 12/31/09 04:23 PM

If it was equitiable, I can only see that as in it was fair. It was a marriage they both built, and when they split and it was said and done, it seems to be fair. That should not change because her circumstances changed, as I would not expect it to if your DH's circumstances changed.

It does not change the amount of her slimeyness, but it is fair if it does not change, as it would be fair if it did not change if your DH had a sudden change in circumstances.


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Debi
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: charliesbabe]
      #617209 - 01/03/10 06:30 PM

"My husband was very equitable in the divorce, she got half of everything, house, 401k,"

I doubt he just gave it to her. More than likely he agreed because if he hadn't it would have been awarded to her anyway. I have never seen a situation where one party in a divorce said "Please take all of this because I'm feeling very generous".

I think someone asked if there were terms set on the alimony. Or do the divorce papers simply say he is to pay xxxx amount of dollars for xxxx amount of time? That could go a long way in telling you if there is much chance of modification.

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giveortake
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: Debi]
      #617638 - 01/04/10 07:55 PM

Inheritance is NOT considered income. Only the INTEREST generated from the inheritance is considered income. For example, she deposits all of the money into an interest bearing savings account. The interest that is earned in her benefit is the only thing considered to be income.
It was the ooposite in my divorce, my ex husband received over 500K in inheritance during our divorce.


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charliesbabe
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: Debi]
      #617686 - 01/05/10 12:15 AM

Yes, the terms of the alimony is 6 years and he's 2 years into that. He pays c.s. too, although I didn't mention it. I've pretty much given up on a modification, I couldn't handle my feelings of resentment anymore. I have come to terms with it after using all of my "tools" and had to finally read a few pages of proverbs. I have to count my blessings in that what we have together is something money can't buy. Yes, she has tons of money and will be getting more but that's all she has. I have to be thankful that she let him get away and I am benefiting from it.

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charliesbabe
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: giveortake]
      #617687 - 01/05/10 12:19 AM

Hi Giveortake, well, I was of the understanding that it is considered income, I got it straight from a family court judge, but he is in Arizona. Don't know if that makes a difference, the rules seem to be pretty standard.

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Redlegg
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimony [Re: charliesbabe]
      #617700 - 01/05/10 06:30 AM

Why not a modification on the CS....Since the income model has changed, and that can always be modified.

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Avaya
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimo [Re: Redlegg]
      #617828 - 01/05/10 02:21 PM

First, in 2 years what has occurred to HIS income that he's afraid of an increase in alimony? Second, don't look at it as though the alimony is now going for extras, look at it as alimony going toward what it was intended - mortgage, bills, education, etc and HER INHERITANCE going toward the extras that she wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise. If he got a windfall, he wouldn't want to share with her (however, I do recognize that if the PAYER gets a windfall, the courts would likely MAKE him share with her). So bottom line, why is he afraid alimony would go up if he did attempt a reduction based on her windfall? If you can logically answer that question and come to terms that he doesn't have anything to loose, I'd find an attorney that will base the argument on the fact that if the table was turned, he'd have to pay more therefore why shouldn't he get to pay less when it's the other way around? But I don't think I'd do it on the 80k, I'd wait till the $350k comes through.

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Redlegg
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimo [Re: Avaya]
      #617839 - 01/05/10 03:22 PM

I never would have thought that alimony would change for the payor if they came into a windfall two years afer the divorce. To me that would be just as unfair, if it were the other way around.

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Avaya
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimo [Re: Redlegg]
      #617847 - 01/05/10 03:42 PM

Unfair? yes. Could it happen? probably.

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charliesbabe
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimo [Re: Avaya]
      #617857 - 01/05/10 04:25 PM

[quote]First, in 2 years what has occurred to HIS income that he's afraid of an increase in alimony? Second, don't look at it as though the alimony is now going for extras, look at it as alimony going toward what it was intended - mortgage, bills, education, etc and HER INHERITANCE going toward the extras that she wouldn't have been able to afford otherwise. If he got a windfall, he wouldn't want to share with her (however, I do recognize that if the PAYER gets a windfall, the courts would likely MAKE him share with her). So bottom line, why is he afraid alimony would go up if he did attempt a reduction based on her windfall? If you can logically answer that question and come to terms that he doesn't have anything to loose, I'd find an attorney that will base the argument on the fact that if the table was turned, he'd have to pay more therefore why shouldn't he get to pay less when it's the other way around? But I don't think I'd do it on the 80k, I'd wait till the $350k comes through. [/quote]

Well, his income has actually dropped, he lost quite a bit of his built in overtime. Unfortunately, a judge does not count overtime, so there's that. We are going solely on the info from my sister who works for a divorce court judge. He reminded her of a case where this very thing happened and the payor ended up paying more. Apparently, there is a very complicated formula where all the money, her income, his income (including the inheritance) goes into a "big pot"... his ex says that he got off lucky because she didn't ask for as much as she could have recieved, she stated 1/5 of his income.
I just emailed my sister who is in court right now and said that inheritance counted as income may be counted differently from state to state.


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charliesbabe
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimo [Re: charliesbabe]
      #617860 - 01/05/10 04:32 PM

If it was the other way around, she would most def want a modification to up it, she makes comments all the time so I wouldn't put it past her.
I know it could be worse, I know there are lots of people who are paying more, for more years, even lifetimes. I feel for these people, and despite my posts, I get along with his ex quite well. She is very nice to me and approves of our marraige, knowing that I am good for him and their son. We invited her to dinner when we got married and she declined very politely saying it was "my night". Believe me, I keep all this to myself and will never let on how I feel about this to her.


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charliesbabe
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimo [Re: charliesbabe]
      #617862 - 01/05/10 04:36 PM

One last comment before my break is over, one last resort is to talk to a lawyer and have them crunch the numbers but my DH thinks it will cost more than it's worth. Plus, there was such a row (she got really p.o.'d ) when he just asked about it, he figured it wasn't worth the grief. That's why we wanted to come to a verbal agreement first.

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CuriousGeorge
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimo [Re: charliesbabe]
      #618232 - 01/06/10 05:39 PM

Are you kidding? Spend $300 at the risk of saving thousands? What am I missing?

His annual W2s should show a decrease in his overall income = change of circumstance. She gets a large windfall inheritance = change of circumstance.

Its worth $300 to have an attorney run the numbers and give the probability of success on a modification.

I foresee another interesting scenario for you - little Ms Ex gets her $350k and the alimony and spends like crazy for a few years. (She is already spending like crazy.) The inheritance runes out, the alimony runs out and little Ms. Ex can't pay her bills or support the same lifestyle. She will feel like heaps of coal dumped on her head. LOL. That will be your revenge. What comes around goes around.

also - tell hubby to stop talking to her. She doesn't need to know anything about your finances.

Get a lawyer today.

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charliesbabe
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimo [Re: CuriousGeorge]
      #618286 - 01/06/10 07:41 PM

Hi CuriousGeorge, I like your style, lol. Yes, she is spending like crazy, and uses their son to convey how much everything costs, etc. despite my husband asking her several times not to discuss money with him.
The timing is on her side, she claims that the 350K is tied up in trusts, or somesuch other. She got 80k in November and went and bought the Lexus that week.
The other thing that is on her side as far as timing goes is that the since she doesn't have the 350k now (because it's tied up) then it can't be counted. Who really knows if that's true, she said a brother is fighting the inheritance because he didn't get as much as the other siblings. I need to find the rude email she sent to my DH justifying buying the Lexus, I want to paste some of it here.

My DH is losing his job in two years and she is going to be nice by "not making him go out and get a job to pay her" alimony. So, she get the inheritance and instead of being wise with it, ( I would have put it in an interest bearing account, cd's, etc) she goes and spends most of it on the Lexus, a new laptop, furniture, etc. She claims that this way, she'll have a nice car ( she had a very nice Honda from the divorce) when he loses his job and can't pay her anymore. How considerate!
So, I like your scenario, but she will be able to collect from him just when the 350k "magically" frees up. There's not much we can do about it except take the high road and read proverbs until it comes out of my ears.
Thanks again...


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Papochka
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Re: Husband's ex inherited but still expects alimo [Re: charliesbabe]
      #624975 - 01/21/10 12:42 PM

Its my understanding that Alimony & CS don't stop just because he is unemployed. This is especially true if he gets any severance pay. It is a basis for a change of circumstance, but only if its prolonged and he can document an honest effort at seeking similar quality of work. I'm presuming in 2 years he won't be 65 - the "normal" retirement age.

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