bama1992
recently joined
Reged: 01/06/10
Posts: 2
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After 22 years she decided to jump the fence. I feel like she shouldn't be entitled to the customary "1/2 of everything", kids are 16 and 17. How should I proceed?
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charliesbabe
recently joined
Reged: 12/30/09
Posts: 13
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As far as I know, 22 years would be a "marriage of duration"... 10 years is the cut off point, that's why some people get divorced at 9 years 8 months. Most states are "no fault" states, so the reason doesn't matter. This is just some things I learned from my sister, who worked in divorce court for 20 years. It's sad, and only brings resentment sometimes. For example, my new husband was married for 18 years total, and she kicked him out of the bedroom when their son was conceived. He decided that over 15 years of a sexless marriage was to his detriment, and divorced her. I think she is either a lesbian (not that there's anything wrong with that) or just plain not interested. Either way, I have a hard time when people "suddenly" decide they are gay ( I am not anti-gay) and live a lie that eventually everyone pays for. Most likely, since you have kids, you are going to have to go 50/50, as hard as that is to accept. Good luck.
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bama1992
recently joined
Reged: 01/06/10
Posts: 2
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Thank you for the reply. Yea, I guess it's just one of those "life isn't fair" situations. I am not anti gay either but it 's just not right that I get punished for something I didn't do. Wouldn't their be an infidelity issue if she is dating other women? We are currently separated and i know she has been with other women. Yes, I live in a no-fault state.
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charliesbabe
recently joined
Reged: 12/30/09
Posts: 13
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Well, I am smack dab in the middle of a "life isn't fair" situation, see my thread under spousal support/alimony issues. I re-read my thread and want to clarify some points. I think some people who are gay don't want to admit it and try to live a "normal" life and have a conventional marriage only to find years later that they aren't happy. 22 years is quite a long time ago and perhaps your wife didn't have the emotional tools to deal with her sexuality. Don't know, not trying to be a pop psychologist here but sometimes it helps to be compassionate in times like this. I have run the gamut of emotions in the past year plus and decided that I don't like the way I feel when I am full of resentment. I am strictly speaking for myself, mind you. So, take an inventory of what is and go from there. I love my DH so much, and his son makes him who is is and one of the things I love about him. He is a great dad and his ex is the person who gave him his son. We can't have kids so his son is a gift. I just try to learn from this as a lesson in forgiveness, compassion, understanding and patience. I finally came to the conclusion that it's only money and I have so much to be thankful for, I am thankful for the lessons I am learning.
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