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mommyof9
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Reged: 10/04/08
Posts: 1176
Re: overnight guests?!?! [Re: finz]
      #618422 - 01/07/10 08:00 AM

Two of my daughters are 5 and 6. The six year old has Down Syndrome. They have been inseperable since the 5 year old was born and the 6 year olds development fell right in line with her sisters.

My ex moved in with a woman (they're married now) who has a 4 year old daughter. She immedietley tried forcing sibling relationships between our children and hers.She told me after 2 months (and seeing my children FOUR times) that she already loved them as much as her own. Crazy lady..

Anyway, she wanted to put my 5 year old with her 4 year old and leave my 6 year old with the BABY who wasn't even 1 yet. She treats my 6 year old like the family pet and has no idea what she is capable of... she is doing cheerleading, dance, etc and rocking out!

So anyhoo, I put my foot down and warned my husband not to set that standard in his home. He refused. The judge didn't.

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1004SRS
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Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
Re: overnight guests?!?! [Re: mommyof9]
      #619609 - 01/10/10 03:25 PM

I have asked my X to not let our daughter sleep with him and his girlfriend. They were putting our DS to bed and taking DD to bed with them.

It really isn't appropriate at all to sleep with an unrelated child. "poor lifestyle choice that may effect the minor children" are the words the attorney used.

I explained to my X in this way.... What would he do if the situaiton was reversed and I was bringing our children to sleep with my boyfriend?


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hamster04
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Reged: 01/03/10
Posts: 17
Re: overnight guests?!?! [Re: 1004SRS]
      #620216 - 01/11/10 07:50 PM

When your lawyer said it was a poor lifestyle choice that would effect the minor children did he add anything else to that? I am a mother of three children, 2 boys and a girl. When they do sleep at their fathers, my children all sleep in the same bed while their father and his girlfriend sleep on the floor. This , as a mother makes me made because my children should not be subjected to such things. I think it is different when it is the actual parent but if you are not then you should not be sharing the same bed or room. Too odd from a parental aspect

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finz
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Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6756
Re: overnight guests?!?! [Re: mommyof9]
      #620316 - 01/12/10 03:40 AM

Thanks for explaining M09. I disagree with getting that specific order. I don't disagree with being appalled that your ex would tolerate his daughter being treated like a novelty or a pet. I don't disagree that pulling your 5 yo out of a rooming relationship that is working for her with her own sister to force her into having a relationship with her stepsister is also wrong.

I just don't love the idea that there is a co that the 5 yo HAS to room with the 6 yo. I understand this is a better situation for your 6 yo, but what if, in the future, it is not neccesarily the best situation for the 5 yo or both of them ? What if, as other siblings graduate and move out, they could have their own rooms and they wanted to ? It just seems odd to specify that they MUST share a room.

But....this is NOT a Divorce Source, so "let's fight about this !" challenge. You know best what works for your kids, that point just sounded weird to me.


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1004SRS
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Reged: 12/11/06
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Re: overnight guests?!?! [Re: finz]
      #620333 - 01/12/10 06:07 AM

I could see Mo9's case easily. One child has Down's Syndrome. She needs to be in a situation that makes her comfortable.

Also, my daughter was sharing a bed with 2 unmarried people. That is what tripped up my X. Putting our 3 year old in bed with him and his gf. PLUS, DD was telling people at school that the gf didn't wear pjs.

Edited by 1004SRS (01/12/10 06:09 AM)


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finz
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Reged: 06/17/08
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Re: overnight guests?!?! [Re: 1004SRS]
      #620971 - 01/12/10 11:34 PM

Ewwwwww on the no pjs !


I understand wanting/needing to have the 6 yo dd in an optimal situation for her, my point is that is not neccesarily an optimal situation for the 5 yo. I look at the co as an order for her to be a caretaker for her sister, which she might be okay with now, but is that co really in her BEST interest ? Did anyone else read "My Sister's Keeper" ?


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1004SRS
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Reged: 12/11/06
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Re: overnight guests?!?! [Re: finz]
      #620983 - 01/13/10 05:32 AM

I know. I totlly don't understand how a grown woman would think that was appropriate. Sleeping naked with somsone else's child. Nasty..... XH denied that part, but it did stop.

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