Stonedog
recently joined
Reged: 11/03/09
Posts: 5
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Ok,
My wife and I have been arguing the Paramour clause. Well she servered me and in Paragraph H of the agreement it reads " Neither parent will permit overnight paramours to stay overnight at his or her home during that parent's parenting time."
So what constitutes overnight ? When my wife had her I am allowed to call only as late as 9 pm or there abouts to say goodnight. Thats is fine with me as my child needs to be in bed by 9 pm at the latest in my opinion. Does this mean that her BF or my GF must be gone by the 9 pm deadline ?
I wanted to ask here before I have to pay to get this clarified .
Stonedog
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mommyof9
old hand
Reged: 10/04/08
Posts: 1176
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If it doesn't give specific hours you can push the issue as far as you want... "Well, Your Honor, she left before the sun came up!"
Those clauses are pretty much unenforceable unless your ex is willing to spend a fortune on a PI.
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Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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I believe the INTENT of the clause is that the children should not be witness to non-married parents "going to bed" with their non-spousal partners.
So if the kids know that your girlfriend is going into your bedroom and sharing a bed with you, then you have broken the clause...and not set a very good, moral example for your kids.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26679
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Goodness, now we need to define what overnight is. Just use the same definition you would use if your child said they wanted to stay overnight somewhere. Anything for a loophole.....
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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It's simple. The "no overnights" is nothing more than a morality clause by which some couples agreed to abide.
The INTENT is so that the children aren't witness to unwed people sleeping together...going off to the bedroom together, or sharing a bed together.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26679
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whatever it is, or whatever the intent, it is a pretty simple concept, I mean even 5 year olds know what overnight is.......
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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I agree. I think in the name of political correctness, they muddied the waters of The clause. "overnight." The intent is for parents to not sleep with their paramours or have them "spend the night". But "overnight" is so vague. My paramour can't sleep in my guest room if they are visiting me from out of town?
I think they need to spell it our more clearly. "no sleeping together when the children are in the house. No sharing bed. No sharing a bedroom. No sneaking off to the "guest room" in the middle of the night, etc... when the children are in the home."
That is, afterall, the intent of the "no overnights" clause.
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Maury
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/04
Posts: 8146
Loc: This Asylum --->
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It means no overnight paramours, it is that simple. It does not mean you necessarily sleep in the same bed.
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c_jane
Pooh-Bah
Reged: 04/06/07
Posts: 1753
Loc: In the Great State of Texas
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And it really means diddly. My Ex- moved his GF into his house after the divorce and she lived there FOUR YEARS before they finally got married. I even brought it up to my lawyer as a cause for reversal of custody and he said it wasn't against the law.
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John Constantine: God's a kid with an ant farm.... He's not planning anything.
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KiwiGirl
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/09/05
Posts: 6271
Loc: Plains State
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OK, I had to laugh at the 'paramour' bit.
But I would say after midnight. Then it becomes over into the next 24 hr period recognised as a 'day'.
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If I can't be part of the solution I insist on being most of the problem
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