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Reged: 09/26/09
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Future Ex Being Difficult
      #631618 - 02/09/10 08:07 PM

My future ex and I have no children and he is currently living in California with his girlfriend. I filed Pro Se the beginning of November and he signed THAT paperwork, however, now that the time has come to fill out the financial paperwork, he's dragging his feet. I sent it out there Certified with Return Receipt and along with that I also put a note in with the financial paperwork that it needed to be returned within 5 days..along with the $200 for the rest of the filing fee.

It has since been nearly 2 weeks and he has returned NOTHING to Pro Se. I have tried to contact him by phone and he conveniently refuses to answer my calls..nor return any of them after I've left several messages.

I don't know if he's dragging his feet because he doesn't want the divorce..or if he's just being lazy but I spoke to Pro Se this afternoon and they told me that if he doesn't return the paperwork...the 120 days for a divorce in Wisconsin is up March 16th. If he doesn't return the financial paperwork..I'll still get my divorce, but it will take an exta 2-3 months because it will have to go to trial.

I told him in the several messages that I left him that if he's too lazy to fill out the financial paperwork...just fill it in with zero's since he has nothing anyway...just send the stuff back with his signature so that we can get the ball rolling on this divorce and get it finalized...and I'll pay the stupid $200 bucks!!

I know that once the hearing is scheduled, he'll be a no show anyway since he never deals with his's easier for him to just stick his head in the sand and not deal with it..just like he did with all the rest of the things during our 15 year marriage!

Has anyone gone through anything similar to this regarding Pro Se? If the divorce goes to trial, what should I expect?

In the first divorce paperwork that he signed, it said in there that I would provide a Quit Claim Deed so that he could sign off on the house. My plans are to send the Quit Claim Deed paperwork out to California (again..certified with return receipt) he can at least sign off on the house since I don't plan on staying in the home.

He's got TONS of stuff here including expensive tools in the garage from the business he ran into the which I plan on taking to Goodwill..and many of his family heirlooms in our attic.

I wish I could just sell it all and move on with my life but in the original divorce paperwork that we both signed, it said that I couldn't sell or give any of the things that belonged to him away or I could be in contempt of court.

Does anyone have any advice as to what I can do with all his "stuff" as again..I don't plan to stay here much longer and would really like to find a place that's cheaper and possibly rent this place out as I can't sell it due to the fact that the loser never filed his taxes for the past 5 years and we've got a $42,000 lien on the home from the State Government!!

He's left me in a real bind...thus my idea of sending him the Quit Claim Deed and maybe..just maybe he'll sign that and get his name off the stupid deed!!

I spoke to my mother in law about all this and asked her what she wanted me to do with all the family heirlooms (including a cradle that's been in the family for decades)..along with their family pictures, many of his childhood toys that should have sentimental value, etc. and her reply was, "You're not staying in the house?? WHY???"

I just told her that there's nothing for me here..the place is too big for one person..and I'd really like to start unloading some of this stuff before Spring comes.

So she says, "You're going through with the divorce?" and my reply was, "Absolutely..he's been out for over a year now..he's living with his girlfriend..and I really don't have the space to store any of the things he left behind at my new place...besides the fact that I'd really like to move on with my life."

I asked her again what she would like me to do with the cradle..the family pictures, etc., and she told me she really doesn't have room for the cradle (and I don't have any way to get it to her anyway!!)..yet she said she really doesn't want it sold either. I told her to talk to her son..find out what he wants me to do with all his tools..his broken down van with his rug cleaning machine in it (which he always planned on getting up and running..yet here it sits!!)..the family pictures (which she told me she really doesn't want...DOESN'T WANT??! These include his graduation pictures...the last existing family picture with his dad in it <who passed away 15 years ago>..I can't imagine he'd want THAT thrown out)..his dad's desk (another thing that should have sentimental value to my ex)..while he leaves it all SIT here expecting free storage while he hides his head in the sand out in California!!

His mom continued.."Well, I really don't know what to tell you..he has no way to get those things to California" and I just said, "Well..he's got a truck and maybe it's best he just comes back to Wisconsin and decides what he wants to take with him..and what he plans to leave here...I can't afford to store it..and again..I don't plan on staying in the house much past Spring.."

UGH..although I love her to death and she's been a great mother in law..she's as wishy washy as he is and I no longer have the time for it!! Decisions have to be made but if in the original paperwork it said that I can't get rid of any of his stuff without being in contempt of court...what can I do??

Any advice?

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