EndofRope
newbie
Reged: 10/28/08
Posts: 31
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I posted to this forum 3 years ago when everything began.During these three years I've been raising my daughter on $200 a week in support. The agreement stated that my ex husband would pay the mortgage and bills so we could stay in the house and $200 to live on.
But now things have changed. I'm back in school full time trying to finish my bachelors degree so I can make some kind of decent living. I have also moved out of the house and in with another divorced family to save money. The house sits empty, my name is not on it anywhere, and he has until 2011 to sell it. He hasn't even sought a realtor. I can't get full support for my daughter until it sells. I drive 80 miles a day to go to school and drive my daughter an hour a day to and from school. You can imagine how much I spend on gas. Between groceries and gas there is nothing left. My daughter has food allergies that require more expensive food items. I also have a medical condition for which I must take three prescriptions and visit the doctor regularly. I can't afford to go as often as I should because the co-payments add up
My ex husband has been on FIVE vacations in the past year: Aruba twice, Bermuda, Yellowstone, and Disneyworld and he's going on a cruise to Bermuda this May. But I have nothing and I work really hard to get through school and take care of my daughter. It seems so unfair that someone can dump his wife and daughter after 8 years and they're the ones who pay the price. He is unbelievably mean to me, just nasty and scathing, but without any reason ( some suggest guilt). I try to make sure I am calm and collected in our communications, but it doesn't help.
If it sounds like I'm bitter and envious, I am. This whole thing just seems so obviously wrong. The stress I am under is killing me. My health is suffering as a result and I'm overwhelmed and depressed.
I feel like I can't stand another day of this; like I will collapse under the weight of it Does anyone understand this or have any ideas about how I might change things? It seems as though since I am in school and out of his house, our financial agreement should change, too.
Thanks for any and all help. i really appreciate it.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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sorry you are going through this. But why would you move out of a house that was essentially free to you?
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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EndofRope
newbie
Reged: 10/28/08
Posts: 31
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We only lived there for a couple of weeks before I caught him cheating and after that point it was living hell. There was nothing good in the house; only bad memories. Also, living with another family has helped with some sharing of responsibilities and companionship.
I don't know what to do.
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1966Gal
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 04/04/08
Posts: 10098
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I don't understand how moving out of a free house saves you money. Also seems like given your current situation, working should be priority #1 and school can wait until things have settled down. If you were working full time, you wouldn't be trying to live on $200 mo. Are you saying that where you are living now is cheaper than "free?"
Have you consulted an attorney about your situation. Are you truly divorced or still seperated?
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The Gov cannot give anything to anyone - that they have not first taken away from someone else.
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Debi
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/03/05
Posts: 7135
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"Also seems like given your current situation, working should be priority #1 and school can wait until things have settled down."
That was my first thought. I don't get how someone who isn't supporting themselves in any manner can complain about the amount of money someone else is giving them to live on. I get that a better education will eventually get you a better job but right now you have NO job. It amazes me how many people in this world have entitlement issues.
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When we were together, you said you'd die for me. Now, I think it's time you kept your promise.
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Avaya
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 02/09/06
Posts: 9816
Loc: Arkansas
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Can't feel sorry for you. $200 a week in child support for one kid is a LOT. It's not meant to support YOU, it's his contribution to supporting your child. In three years time, you should be well on your way to independence but it seems that you are still in the same spot you were 3 years ago. If you're already living with someone, why can't you find someone to live with closer to your school? And if $200 a week isn't full support, what is? And why does the house have to sell in order for you to get that?
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Eternity is too long to be wrong.
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yregna
veteran
Reged: 07/25/06
Posts: 1265
Loc: Oregon
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The real question is if your name is on the mortgage contract, not on the title to the house. IF your name is on the mortgage contract, you are liable for the payment on the house.
Why do you feel your ex-husband should support you for the rest of your life, don't you feel any obligation to work to support yourself ? Women have careers nowadays you know...Screwing some guy and popping out a kid means your bread is buttered for the rest of your life ? Wife meant = Lifetime career in your mind ?
Explain..
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"Anything free is worth what you pay for it..."
"Climate is what we expect, weather is what we get"
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