Sara1986
recently joined
Reged: 01/11/10
Posts: 3
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my bf is separated, although not legally, from his wife. So, basically, he's married. He's currently serving overseas, but says he wants us to live together when he gets back. He wants us to live together as a couple while he "works on" getting legally separated and divorced. I've told him I won't live with him until he's divorced and he says I'm being demanding. HELLO!...There is so much wrong with living with a legally married man, waiting for a divorce that will probaly never happen. Anyone go thru this before?
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3030
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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I haven't but you're a FOOL if you do it.
He is not ANYTHING -- he's married.
When he comes to you with a divorce decree, you can make an intelligent decision then.
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finz
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/17/08
Posts: 6462
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Let's be frank......there are a lot of women who would have no problem with that relationship.
If he really believes that you are being demanding just because you are showing some moral character, you might want to reconsider if you are really a good match.
He needs to put on his big boy pants, get his own place, and start making moves to end his marriage before he starts another relationship.
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1004SRS
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 12/11/06
Posts: 5044
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Run quickly. He's married.
If he will cheat on one person, he will cheat just as easily on another.
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CGWyf
recently joined
Reged: 01/12/10
Posts: 1
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Quote:
So, basically, he's married.
That says it all right there.
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seriously
recently joined
Reged: 01/18/10
Posts: 10
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I'd be less concerned about his legal status (at least in my state, legal separation isn't really done if a divorce is in process) as his attitude. I mean, if he is out of the house and has filed, he's separated, even if there isn't legal separation paperwork. But the attitude that YOU are being demanding, and your own assertion that you're waiting for a divorce that won't happen, lead me to believe that your intuition is trying to steer you away from this situation.
Good luck!
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sadad
member
Reged: 01/01/10
Posts: 103
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I give you this and this alone...
Once a cheat, ALWAYS a cheat!!!
Take it for what its worth!!!!
--------------------
It takes a "special" person to cheat.
Once a cheater always a cheater!
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timbuktu
journeyman
Reged: 09/26/09
Posts: 77
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I'd run like hell until he decides to legally separate from his wife and put the divorce in process!!
It's a long story but I wish everyone out there would read it and realize that there IS light at the end of the tunnel:
My situation is very similar. My future ex husband was fooling around with a woman for over a year when he finally decided to leave with the clothes on his back and whatever he could fit into a duffle bag and move in with her.
I was devastated. After a year of crying my eyes out..going through counseling, etc., I finally decided that it was time I filed for divorce on my own since he obviously wasn't going to.
How can a woman who fools around with a married man..invites him to move in with her, etc..put up with the idea that he hasn't filed for divorce..had NO intentions of filing for divorce etc., sleep at night knowing that the man she's living with..sleeping with, etc., is still legally married??!
After a year of crying my eyes out thinking that he would come back since he himself hadn't filed for divorce, I got strong and took matters into my own hands and filed for divorce.
Since being legally separated, I have met a wonderful man that treats me like a queen...and loves me to pieces!!
However..he's told me that until the final divorce papers are signed..we'll take one day at a time..but there will be no complete commitment on his end until the divorce is final.
I couldn't blame him. My future ex has since signed the financial paperwork and now all I'm waiting for is a court date.
The thing is...people can't be in two relationships at one time and anyone that is willing to have a relationship with a married man that refuses to file for divorce is foolish since the man is playing both ends against the middle as, if he truely wanted a divorce..he would have filed for one.
I thank God for the wonderful man I'm currently seeing as he has morals!! Before he would even date me he wanted to make sure I was legally separated and that the rest of the divorce was in the works. My divorce should be final by the end of April and after that..we plan on moving in together and starting a new life.
Take my advice...DON'T stay in a relationship with a man that isn't even legally separated. Obviously he's still in love with his wife and is playing you for a fool.
Just last summer..my ex tried to come back into my life after he blew back into the area from California. He and his girlfriend weren't getting along so it was me he came running back to..not saying he wanted to move back in with me..but used his cute little dog as an excuse..asking me if he could keep her in the garage, as he was staying with his mom..where they didn't allow pets.
Before too long he was hanging out here on a daily basis...calling me all the time..being Mr. Nicey Nice..buying things for our other three dogs, etc.
We became good friends and caught up on good times..yet I knew darned well that he was on a mission. The day he lost his job, he came over here with some goodies for our dogs..along with some steaks to grill out...telling me that he wanted to "celebrate" the fact that I'd gotten a new job.
Well, we cooked the steaks out with some friends that we invited over and it was very nice and shortly after that..he left to go and celebrate his birthday.
The next morning he was back with a horrible hangover..told me that he'd taken his gf down to OUR local hangout and that nobody accepted her.
Ya think??
I told him that those were "our friends" and that he was stupid to even think about taking her there. His reply, "I just thought maybe people would forget..ya know?"
My reply, "People that are true friends DON'T forget when they know you've been fooling around with this woman for HOW long? They may look the other way with YOU..but they'll never forgive you..and will never accept HER!!"
He gave me these sad eyes and said, "Yeah..I know...I just thought I'd try..they're good people and I just wanted her to fit in like you did.."
I told him.."You should have known better that it'll never happen"...I told him I was sorry it ruined his birthday..gave him a hug and as I was hugging him he said, "I love you..I never stopped loving you..you're my heart and soul and I wish I never would have left.."
Too little too late.
I don't care how much a person hurts when someone leaves them..there's always someone out there that's going to make you happier and I wish everyone on this site would find that kind of happiness...because there IS life after divorce..you just have to believe!!
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raraeliza
recently joined
Reged: 05/14/10
Posts: 5
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Going thru I similar situation. What concerns me is that he is saying you are demanding. It is almost like he is being defensive with you to cover up something.
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connie60
member
Reged: 08/27/10
Posts: 101
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Dont let him play this game with you.....like others have said, he is a cheater, and probably always will be. Dont be his bed buddy!!!!! This sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.....
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