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Reged: 03/05/10
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Bring Civil Suite Against Cheating Wife?
      #639772 - 03/09/10 09:51 PM

This is a cross post from Mens rights; no opinions on it. I think it may have been better to put it here in the first place.

So I have been married for 5 years; about two years into the marriage we had a problem where I found my wife having an inappropriate relationship (she never admitted to sleeping with the guy but did admit that it was inappropriate). We started to have a divorce but tried to work it out through marriage counseling.

Tow and a half years later I get an e-mail from an anonymous source saying that my wife was seen at a hotel by her job, they give me details about her but will not disclose who she was with. She works in a highly competitive sales office and enemies are ruthless so I confront her about it and she thinks it is just someone pissed off about a sale.

Two weeks after that, I am informed that my she is two weeks pregnant. I have that e-mail in the back of my mind, get that horrible feeling in my stomach. I bury the feelings and now the child is about to turn two. I find out about a month or two ago she lied about her whereabouts.. I am done, she stops coming home on the weekends. We start divorce paperwork but I dont file because I cannot escape that bad feeling in my stomach and that e-mail. So Today I find out that the child is NOT mine. Understandably I am furious.

Not only am I divorcing my wife but I am also finding out that she has been cheating on me and starting to uncover all sorts of lies, but worse of all I find out the child that I would do anything for is not even mine.

I have retained a lawyer (was trying the "file your own divorce" thing before) and getting started on a contested divorce.

So my question is this: Can I seek damages in civil court for letting her drag me on like this, for the deception and lies that she has told? She has hurt not only the child, but my entire family and her family I am sure will also be upset (even though they are not loosing a family member).

We had a difficult birth that nearly bankrupt us (even with insurance). Not to mention $1100 a month for daycare and everything else that I have put out to give her the best life a child could ask for.

Do I have a chance at a civil suit once this is over? She was about to have me pay child support for a child she knew might not be mine!

Her family is well off and can provide anything for the child (well well off) so I do not feel bad dragging her back to court after the divorce is final, but I cannot take out a retainer for a civil lawyer until the divorce is done with. She will have to point out the real father in court as well; can I sue him for damages / back child support that should have been paid by him?

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Reged: 06/02/04
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Re: Bring Civil Suite Against Cheating Wife? [Re: foreal]
      #639795 - 03/09/10 10:29 PM

I know of no state that would allow a civil lawsuit against your spouse. A few states, very few, allow claims for alienation of affection against the knowing paramour. THe Carolinas I know allow such suits.

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Reged: 09/26/09
Posts: 77
Re: Bring Civil Suite Against Cheating Wife? [Re: Maury]
      #659173 - 05/06/10 11:11 PM

The sad thing is..and I hate to say it, but most states have become "No fault" marital states so whatever she's done regarding being unfaithful will not stand up in court.

My suggestion to you is to get some DNA tests done to prove who the actual father is to the child and if they so prove that you're not the won't have to pay child support.

Sorry I can't help you more but "alienation of affection"...I think they burned those laws a looooong time ago just to keep divorce court not so sweet...but simple.

Good luck to you and please keep us posted!!

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Reged: 11/19/07
Posts: 334
Re: Bring Civil Suite Against Cheating Wife? [Re: foreal]
      #660114 - 05/11/10 03:38 PM

Filing Maritial Tortes are actually becoming popular and your Lawyer should be able to discuss this option with you.

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