lilsweetJeni
recently joined
Reged: 03/22/10
Posts: 6
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My advice to any wife seeking advice here, just don't. You will be severely criticized. Miranda focuses on picking apart rather than being helpful.
all but one just wanted to put down my 16 yrs of faithful dedication to a man who treated me and his kids like crap, have affairs, blah blah blah. Seems advice here is be grateful for what the military member lets you have not what you are entitled to by law according to 2 of the 3 that responded here.
Sorry I even signed up and wasted my time posting here, just to be treated like I was doing something wrong by wanting anything from him after 16yrs.
hope what you all say here out comes back to you some day.
Edited by lilsweetJeni (03/22/10 01:58 PM)
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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I tried to read your post but it is very hard to understand. If you were active duty you know all about BAH payments, so I don't understand your surprise about it. He gives you $2100 a month when he makes 3800 a month? Is that what I read? That is over 25K a year. And you want him to pay for you attorney?
What state are you in? Many states have online forms you can do yourself, but you certainly need to repsond to his divorce petition.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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lilsweetJeni
recently joined
Reged: 03/22/10
Posts: 6
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I didn't understand he got it on our behalf once we were separated, and he is living in the BEQ.
He made 3800 when we originally drew up paper work in Germany and living in military housing.
He now makes 7000.00 a month.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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So much money do you think he should give you? What do you think you should be contributing yourself?
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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How did his pay double in the last 4 years?
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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lilsweetJeni
recently joined
Reged: 03/22/10
Posts: 6
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deleted cause had too much personal info. trying to defend myself.
Edited by lilsweetJeni (03/22/10 01:51 PM)
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26804
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here is part of the problem, he is giving you 2100 a month. You are asking how much he should give you, when the question is how much is he supposed to or required to give you. You make a point of what he is getting, not if he is meeting his obligation.
Do you want to know how much he is supposed to be giving you, or how much he is required to give you? The divorce, you are talking about you will have been married for 20 years while he was on active duty on Jun 26th. Obvioulsy that issue is related to whether you get permanent benefits for being married.
What you need to do is take a breath, and ask what you want to know. All the situational things really do not have much of a bearing on the military part of this situation, most of those will be covered in the divorce. One thing that might is a documented history of abuse. Is there a documented history of abuse.
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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Actually I am an AD veteran and I have been an AD spouse for the last 13 years. I absolutely know the sacrifices made by both the member and the spouse. I also know as a woman and a mother that it is MY job to also feed my children.
You are choosing to live in poverty. You need to help yourself. You are getting a good amount of money right now and once divorced, you may not get that much at all. What would you do then?
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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lilsweetJeni
recently joined
Reged: 03/22/10
Posts: 6
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deleted pointless attempting to talking to a biased person.
Edited by lilsweetJeni (03/22/10 01:51 PM)
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Miranda
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 06/02/05
Posts: 20822
Loc: North of Mexico
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You still have yet to mention what state you are in.
You cannot dwell on the "what was done to me". He is giving you $2100 a month and has for the last four years right? And he has allowed you to be estranged instead of divorcing just so you can have health insurance, right?
You are going to have figure something out for you and your kids. You are going to have to work, that what you are going to have to do.
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13.1...because I am only half crazy!
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