NHMomandSM
journeyman
Reged: 06/06/09
Posts: 89
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I am just look for any input or advice for my husband and cs issues.
Mom joined the army, giving dad full physical and legal custody. They agreed to child support that is 1/3rd of our state guidelines, but it was what they agreed on. Mom was ordered to pay starting Sept 1st 2009, court order states a weekly amount.
Mom sent 2 checks in Oct, each for 4 weeks worth of cs rather than the monthly amount (which is 4.33 times the weekly amount in our state....she just sent 4 times the weekly amount). Dad wrote her a letter saying that monthly is fine, but that it needs to be x4.33, but not to worry about it for those two months (Sept and Oct).
Mom didn't pay again for months. Dad threatened contempt, mom still paid nothing. Mom paid one weekly amount on February 28th after dropping the child off from her visit for that vacation. Mom continued to tell dad she was going to pay him with her bonus check which was coming Feb 15th...then it was coming March 15th. Dad never received any more money, so in March he filed contempt papers. He just got them back from the court here and sent them to the sheriff in her new county where she is based to have them served to her.
There was a direct deposit from DFAS posted to our account yesterday, for 4x the weekly amount.
If there is one more deposit from them on May 1st, and she sends nothing else, she will be behind 19 weeks still as of the court date of May 12th. Also, DFAS has the wrong amount or information from her about the amount. Part of the court papers he put in for contempt request that the amount be changed to a monthly amount rather than the weekly amount, just so it is very clear to everyone what it should be.
What is the best route here? Some people have said to contact her CO and just go that way, but he would like it to go through the court so there is a record of all of this. Should he still contact the CO or DFAS to tell them it is the wrong amount? Should he wait until after court and see what happens with that? Any other ideas or advice?
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NHMomandSM
journeyman
Reged: 06/06/09
Posts: 89
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One more thing to add....Mom verbally asked dad (over the phone) to write letters for her...one to the army stating she pays xxx each month for cs so she can 'get the money from the army' (the amount was aprox 4.33x the wkly amount she is ordered to pay), he said he would write that she is ordered to pay that, but would not write that she pays it (since she doesn't).
And a second letter stating she has the child 54% of the time so she could get an extra bedroom for her. She only has the child 14% of the time-if she takes all of her visit time. He told her he wouldn't lie to the government. He is a little nervous she may forge letters so she can get what she wants.
Any thoughts on this?
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3028
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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I've answered this before -- you already have a legal record that is in existence -- a court order for support. I wouldn't spend the money when there is a free alternative. Your bank records show that she hasn't paid her support. ONe method of having it accounted for would be to place your case through enforcement, then they'd have a record of what she paid. You can also have your attorney subpoena her bank records which would also show that there's no support being paid.
Is the 0.33 per month REALLY worth worrying about?
Sounds like she may have allotted her support thru DFAS, otherwise it wouldn't have appeared that way in your account.
As far as the letters? What a great bargaining tool.....tell her you'll write the letter about the support when she's paid it continuously, via allotment, for twelve months. Don't know what she's talking about *8get the money from the army**
And I would absolutely NOT write her anything stating that the child is with her 54% of the time. If she forges it and the government wants to come after her, then it will be on her.
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NHMomandSM
journeyman
Reged: 06/06/09
Posts: 89
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We had already filed contempt before we heard to talk to the co. We don't know who her co is and she refused to tell dad. We don't use a lawyer, so it was just the filing fee, which he requested the judge order her to pay.
The .33 isn't a big deal, until it adds up to 4 weeks at the end of the year. And when she is supposed to pay a whole $50/wk, when the guidelines say she should pay $145/wk, and she chooses what parts of the co to follow, going to court over it was kind of a way to remind her that she needs to follow the whole co, not just the parts she wants to follow. Dad also pays 100% of uninsured med costs, which since Sept has already been about $200, and all of her extra curricular activities. He also buys everything she needs, including clothes etc for her to bring for her visits. We feel that mom should be able to pay the whole $50/wk or $216.50/mo while she is making a decent amount from the army, and getting dependent pay and housing pay from the army.
Mom very much wants to be in control of everything she can. When dad told her the amount was technically wrong those first two months, but not to worry about it for those months-just to fix it from then on, she chose to stop paying. When dad asked about support two months later, she chose to stop answering the phone, or calling her daughter, or writing her daughter letters. When dad got the child's ears pierced, mom removed the earings. When dad sent clothes, mom kept just enough that we wouldn't say anything to her because it's really not worth the argument. She also send home a pair of her underwear in SDs things after her first visit. (SD is 6, and the pair clearly did not belong to a 6 yr old). She just does things, it's hard to explain without sounding like I am a crazy step parent.
So going to court or contacting her CO were the best ways, but we didn't know to contact the CO until after we went to court, and we don't know how to find out who her CO is.
And he definitely won't write a letter lying to the government. He can't even believe she would ask that. But it kind of shows the person she is...it doesn't matter who it screws over, as long as she is getting something out of it.
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BeachBabeRN
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 01/16/06
Posts: 3028
Loc: VA for 21 years, NC forever!
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Do you have a physical address for her? Even if it's an APO? Where is she stationed? Ordinarily I wouldn't advocate this but if you can find out where she is physically located and then call the personnel office, it's likely that you could at least find out her unit and go from there.
I'm confused -- if you have a set MONTHLY amount that she is supposed to pay, you can multiple that by 12 and divide by 52 to get a WEEKLY figure. So, $200 per month x 12 = 2400/52 = $46 and change per week -- she's giving you $50 per week.
If she is not paying guideline support, I'm not sure who's to blame for that -- I do know that at her rank of what, E2 or 3? $580 is darn near half of what an E2 would being home but I don't know what she's getting for a dependent. AND whether she has that dependent over half the time is not relevant to her receiving BAH with dependents.
Who agreed to less than guideline support, that you pay all the uncovered medical, and pay all the extra curriculars? Had to be someone. If you want to get the whole thing redone, then you DO need a court.
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elliesmom
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 11/07/05
Posts: 8835
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Whenever this gets to court - the burden will be on her to prove that she paid you. You do not need to worry about a paper trail proving she did not. The easiest way to start getting your money is to do a little legwork, find out her unit, and make some calls and be ready to fax the court record to them. And then you can get your money - for free. Also - generally the state has a child support enforcement office. They represent you for free in all this, but are not nearly as fast.
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Forgiveness is...letting go of the hope that the past can be changed.
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Redlegg
Carpal \'Tunnel
Reged: 10/05/06
Posts: 26679
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Go through CSE and have it garnished. You are doign all this leg work, when you can have some do it for you and the right amount. If there are arrears, let them deal with that as well. The 54% is to get her somethign she wants. She may only be getting BAH Diff, 54% would be enough to get her housing, and BAH with. It would be very unusual for a soldier to have a CS order and custody, she may not be getting BAH with. She could be, but until you see it, you never know.
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